Need some Advice - Son coming home

[WindyOaksYokes]

Okay, I am turning to you all for some help... My 40th birthday is tomorrow ugggg... and well we are not celebrating really except for having my DH and kids here... But my son wont be here... he comes home next Friday

he has been gone for 4 years, and his birthday was last month which we were not able to celebrate. Should we just wait to celebrate til next week when he does come home? What I was thinking was getting a cake and putting both our names on the cake... he turned the big 18. Not to mention he wants to take us all out to dinner... I don't feel right doing this, and we really cant afford that kind of dinner bill. I offered to BBQ or make his favorite at home and he says no... he is adimant and wants to take all of us out to dinner, he wants all of us together! I just don't feel right, that will be exspensive. Any ideas??? Any help would be much appreciated....

Thanks
Tes

 

[Newchickenmom&kids]

Sounds as if this is something that is very important for him to do....I'd let him do it. try to think of it from his perspective...

 

[LynnGrigg]

I have some experience in your dilema but if he insists you should let him do it. Maybe you can agree on a reasonable place to eat. I'd still plan an after dinner double birthday/welcome home dessert party for afterwards -and at home. Happy 40th. I sure wish I could go back a few years to that! I'm still enjoying my forties but this is my last year for it. lol!

Lynn

 

[chickbea]

It sounds like he wants to splurge a little and do this for you. There are many reasonable places to eat that are very nice. Then back to yours for some cake and party - sounds like a fabulous evening!
Good luck and have fun.

 

[mdbucks]

Where is your son? Military?

 

[WindyOaksYokes]

No, not the military he just turned 18, looking to join the military in a couple of years though, wants to take some time off and spend time at home before leaving again. He's been away... and where he was going to school he was a member of the ROTC program and won the Presidents award for physical and accademics... I have his trophy and display it proudly (which will only be for another week

)...

I do appreciate the input from you all, I should of mentioned he wants to go to Red Lobster which has always been our favorite. It's just too exspensive. Maybe we could share the bill, but don't know if we can afford that with the other 4 kids going back to school. If it would have been after the first... okay... but at the end of the month... it is so hard. I should have also mentioned that the next day I have to take him 2 hours away... he will be staying with my mother since our place is so small, so Friday night will be the only time that we can do anything!

I do think I will do the cake thing at home and for both of us... it would be a surprise for him too. We have both just missed out on 4 birthdays of eachothers and I just want his first nite to be something special.

Thanks again
Tes

 

[Bubba]

He wants to take you out to dinner to show you respect and show you he is a MAN. It would be an insult to his honor and pride if you won't let him. Just make sure he knows how much this meal will really cost him. (You may want to jump in for the tip or desert charges...) Even thou he is 18 he may not realize how much he is getting in for or maybe he does.

If he does plan on going into the Military, talk to him about college. Take it from someone who was Enlisted in the Military. GET A DEGREE BE AN OFFICER!!! At least goto college a few years and get the 2 bonus ranks they give you when you enlist if that is his choice.

Another idea is to have a family dinner at home. Then have him treat you, (your hubby?) to dinner at Red Lobster. That way it won't kill him or you financially. What a tradition to start! When you turn 18 You buy US DINNER!!! muha muha

Seriously thou I hope this helps you, best of luck!

Bubba

 

[broncbuster07]

As usual, I agree with Bubba. Let him show you he is a MAN. It's what he wants and you're supposed to give folks what they want for their birthday. HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY!!!

 

[pattycake]

Let him do it! It'll make him feel good.

The best advice anyone ever gave me was to let people do things for me, and to let them feel good about it. Because that's what I'd want, if the shoe were on the other foot.

Just make sure it's the perfect evening for him -- everyone happy and together.

 

[WindyOaksYokes]

Okay, thanks for all the replies and inputs... and birthday wishes!!!
I will tell you what we have decided but First I will tell you DH's idea... his idea is that just my son and I go to dinner, then come home for cake and ice cream and to party. My DH feels that we need "alone time" after 4 years of being apart and not seeing eachother but maybe 3 times. We are also in the processs of making arrangements for him to stay the night or put him in hotel room for the night and then have him stay Saturday too so that we all have more time before I take him to my mothers. DH says there is plenty of time and that after he gets settled we will all go out to dinner "our treat".
So far what we have decided is to buy a cake that says Happy Birthday Mom and TJ and Welcome home TJ on it. Plus I am going to decorate. As for dinner... I am still undecided... I definatly will go, but as for DH and the kids, still unsure.
Thanks again
Tes