Need some personal help here...

[jeaucamom]

A little different perspective here...... Your husband is the one you are going to be living everyday with for the rest of your life. His opinion, and feelings are the ones you need to be paying attention to. He is the one who you vowed to love, honor and cherish, so lets start with his hurt feelings from 5 years ago. Apologize, even if you don't remember saying it, his reality says he is carrying around a hurt you caused. If he winds up feeling more secure and forgiving and letting go of the past to the point where he feels okay about you going, then great. If not, then you will be showing him respect by honoring his wishes for you to stay home. Either way, he is your husband and IMO should be the first and only consideration in your life.

 

[rufus]

Go, enjoy yourself. You never know when you will ever see your family again. Just tell him, "that was then, this is now."

If he is still there when you get home, fine. If he isn't, well that is just the way things are in life. If a little issue like this causes a problem, maybe you are better off without him.

Good luck,

Rufus

 

[Bec]

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[ibpboo]

Well, you do have the best husband in the world right!! Deal with his hurt feelings. Maybe you should go it sounds like you really want to, and you don't want to be resentful for 5 or more years. Give it a few days, let yourself cool down from your mom's comments and tell her you are working on it without any further details.

 

[Dilly]

Lots have been touched on. But seriously you owe your husband an apology for creating this situation with him and your family. They had no business being told anything other than a simple sorry we cannot make it, or thank you so very much I gladly accept your kind offer.

I agree though the offer never should of been made unless your entire family was included. If your family wants you there so bad, then they should come up with the dough to include your husband and children.

The Vegas issue sounds like someone has a selective memory, Perhaps this is coming back to bite. I do agree this issue is still unresolved and needs addressing.

 

[nutmeggie]

I don't know you or your husband so I don't know what things are like. If he knows how close you are to your brother and how important it is to you to see him get married Why is he mad at you for wanting to go? Is he really still upset about Vegas five years ago or is he coming up with anything to make you feel guilty so you won't go? I hope your mom understands that it makes things worse for you (not just him) if the family holds him responsible for you not going. I hope you can do what you (in your heart) want to do. Maybe once things calm down sit down and talk to him and let him know how important it is for you to go (if you really want to go and its not just your family making you want to go). I hope it all works out!!

 

[LilRalphieRoosmama]

I was ok with siding with your hubby until you said he wouldn't have gone anyway. Sounds just like my man, who I love dearly BUT sometimes you have to do things that you want to do when he doesn't want to do them anyway. There are some who just don't like to/want to travel or do family things no matter what the situation but don't want us to either. I have one of those so I understand. Would he have really gone to his brother's wedding or made up an excuse at the last minute?

If I were in your shoes and really wanted to be there for my brother, I would go. Yes, there will be he&% to pay later but blood is blood. And mom's paying. And it's in Florida. And you probably really deserve some time without the hubby and kids. If he loves you, he'll get over it. JMHO and good luck -

 

[Bec]

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[Bec]

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[Tutter]

I just wanted to add one thing....

Could it be that Vegas isn't the issue? Perhaps he's saying that to cover the real reason he's upset.

Those could include something like:

Him feeling looked down upon by your family. (true, or not.)

And, to add to the above, how about feeling inadequate because he doesn't really have the money right now, and your mom is paying? That can be very bad for the ego for some guys, as though they can't care for their own family.

I don't know, maybe he really is still annoyed after 5 years, but maybe he just got upset and grabbed it as an excuse, and then, once it started, he felt hurt/bad that you didn't stand up with him on the issue.

This doesn't mean that I'm agreeing with him one way, or the other, but sometimes to settle something, you need to understand what the other person's thinking/feeling, and I wanted to give you another angle or 2 to contemplate.

I hope things improve soon; being at odds is never pleasant.