Need to vent and possibly get suggestions

[BarbK]

I have a 4yr old girl who my doctor and I have broken down and started drugging to get her to sleep at night. We started her on medication about 1 1/2 yrs ago. She used to get more hyper when she got tired and everynight we didn't get to sleep til 4-6 am.
Tonight she was given her meds and given time for them to start to kick in then sent to bed. That was an hour ago and she has been screaming ever since. Not crying or complaining but out right screaming!!!!! I never thought I would want to ring my childs neck as bad as I do right now!!! AAAAHHHH
I have dealt with similar tantrums in the past and made the mistake of going into the room and trying to get her to stop, which only makes things work.
Any suggestions from other parents would be great. I am so ready to strangle her which is one of the reasons I am NOT going to her room. I don't want to yell at her cause I'm mad.
Thanks for the vent and any suggestions.

 

[chickflick]

You are doing th right thing by not going into her room. Be strong. Things will get better....really. Just be consistant. I know it's hard, but you will get thru this. you can't give in to her tantrums. I raised four kids and I remember days that I wanted to strangle them, but they all turned our good kids and pretty normal. Good Luck!!

 

[tiffanyh]

I have two kids, my son is bad about sleeping since he was born. My daughter- who we did the same routines with- is a great sleeper. I dont want to tell you not to go to her, because that is a VERY hard thing to do when she is that upset, although I do get the whole negative reinforcement thing,,,,

I just wanted to letyou know - I UNDERSTAND!!!

 

[BarbK]

Finally she is asleep!!! Yay!!! However I now have to plaster a hole she put in the wall from throwing a toy.

 

[ruth]

I'd go in her room and give her a nice little whack on her backside. I know I will probably get slammed for this advice but loving discipline is better than medicating a child any day in my humble opinion. My 3 kids were each only 1 1/2 years apart so I had a 3 1/2 year old; a 2 year old; and a newborn. I found a little pop on the hand with a firm "no" or a little pop on the butt goes a long way. Honestly, I never had one of mine throw a temper tantrum - I took mine all over - to the theater, fine restaurants, high-tea, everywhere - never a problem. Best to prevent bad habits before they begin. All three are now grown and successful and happy young adults - the oldest being a child therapist. Want to know what her advice to parents with this complaint is? "Give the child a nice little whack on their backside". Today parents are being made to feel like child abusers if they discipline or correct their children but give them mind altering strong chemicals "meds" to alter their bad behaviour. My 3 kids worked as camp counselors when they were teenagers and said they had to have a locked metal file cabinet in their room for all of the young kids that were on Ridaline (sp?).

 

[pharr389]

i'm with ruth!

 

[equine chick]

I so understand what your are going throug! I was in your shoes 14 years ago. The medication probally needs to be readjusted if this keeps up, but only by her doctor. Have you taken her to a childrens behavioral specialist? Most large city children's hospitals have them and they are covered by most insurance. My youngest daughter was like this and we found out she had a pervasive developmental disorder , she is now a drug free and a healthy well adjusted 16 year old teenager.

 

[Chelly]

I practice AP - Attachment parenting, I wouldn't spank, give meds, or leave a child alone to cry...

All of the above just make your life that much more difficult - a child needs to know they're loved and safe - they don't feel safe alone and crying in a room.... spanking doesnt' make them feel safe either.

I would stop giving those drugs, what ever they are.... deal with it for a few days, your daughter has NO IDEA how to sleep without drugs, thats a bad idea... setting her up for abuse later.

I still take my kids to bed, my son is 8, he goes to bed all on his own, my daughter is almost 4 and I will lie with her for 15 minutes or so, and then she's asleep too... its NOT a big deal, not a huge chunk out of my life - and worth it to know she feels safe and loved.

Give her lots of love and climb into bed with her, talk about stuff while you're lying there - there is no rush to get to sleep - tickle her back, sing!! Just let her know you're there and in it together...

 

[firechicken]

If the child wasn't going to sleep until 6am then I would think it to be a little more then just a tantrum that could be fixed with a pop on the hand. If they have resorted to meds then I would think that it is a little more serious then a tantrum that can be stopped with pop or a spanking.
I don't think you see the severity of the problem ruth.

 

[PurpleChicken]

Barb,

My son is a restless sleeper and still ends up in my bed most nights, even when
he falls asleep in his.

None of us have enough info to even guess at what may help here. What
medication does she take? What did the doctor diagnose her with? Has this
been since birth or is it something she developed as a toddler? Is she
throwing a tantrum or is she experiencing anxiety (yes kids have anxiety) ?

With a few more details the we may be able to help.

Don


Ruth, I agree a smack on the butt works along with consistency and love. That
is a whole other subject though and will get us way off topic. You and I both
seem to have a "Don't get me going attitude".

In Ruth's defense I don't think she was saying go hit the child but interpreted Barb's
post as a potential tantrum. Like I said none of us have enough info to make any
reasonable conclusion, even on Ruth's post. Let's stay focused.