Need to vent and possibly get suggestions

[cookinmom]

Quote:
Me too. We established bedtime routine when ours were very little, like between 1 and 2 years old. They got in the bed, got prayed with, had their drink, had gone potty, got one song, and then it was time for sleep. Night light on, door open, Mama and Daddy within calling distance. Need anything, call for mama. Get out of bed, get that nice little whack on the tush. (They didn't know it, but that wasn't automatic. If they got up we would ask what they needed & take care of it. But that business of pitching a fit got nipped in the bud the first time it was tried.)
What is the diagnosed condition she is being drugged for?

 

[BarbK]

If she doesnt get medicated before going to bed she will be awake all night. Before I broke down and gave into doc prescribing medication she would stay awake till 4-6 am in the morning regularly.

Spanking doesnt work half the time. She has actually turned around and laughed at me. (my hand stung from the wack on the bottom)

The only way that I have found that gets her attention is to tell her to go to her room and I wont talk to her till she is calm.

We have started therapy recently. We will see how it works out. I just wonder if this behavior is related to what I think the sperm doner might have done to her before he left the picture. I don't know. All I know is when it gets as bad as it does tonight (I'm not feelin that great tonight) I just want to scream.

 

[BarbK]

Man two posts while I was writing. We haven't been able to figure out why she wont go to sleep other than she is like I used to be. The more tired she gets the more wound up she gets. Mom used to tell how tired I was by how much I was bouncing off the walls. (no sugar involved. history of sugar on both sides of the combined bloodlines)

The tantrum will be anything from just screaming at the top of her lungs to me having to hold her down to keep her from hurting herself or the animals.

She has always not wanted to go to sleep from day one but the tantrums and staying awake started when she was about 2.

She is on clonidine to help her sleep at night. .01mg just before bedtime which is at 7:30 p.m.

 

[ruth]

In my own defense and before I get slammed any more let me please clarify that I am in no way a child abuser - the little pops were when they were young and before bad behaviour could take root and become a huge problem - which is what I'm guessing is taking place here. If you ask any of my three grown children if they can ever remember a spanking and they will say "no". Like Cookinmom we just had firm routines and consistency which are very important to young children - your "no" has to mean "no", and not "maybe - if you keep bugging me" - your "yes", yes. At my kids bedtime it didn't matter whose home we were at (I travelled a lot) - I would ask to use a bedroom and put them to bed even if we were visiting somewhere. Bedtime was actually one of their favorite times because they got a story, each got a favorite song (though I can't sing a lick) and then "nite nite".

Raising children is the hardest job there is and children do need to feel loved and one way they feel it, though they can't express it, is through their parent being the parent.

Hang in there - stay consistent - stick to routine.

When my daughter was a pre-K teacher she said 90% of the kids at the pricey day-care she taught at were on meds. My question is how did all of us from a previous generation manage to grow up without the meds? I know for me it was knowing that I would get paddled in school if I misbehaved and paddled again when I got home.

 

[cookinmom]

I feel for ya! Do yourself a favor, though; if you do decide to spank her, don't use your hand. On a kid that age, it is a joke to them, hurts your hand, and just makes you more frustrated. Get a nice wooden spoon, for if you decide that's what you need to do. Hands are really hard and can bruise, where a little spoon just stings enough to get their attention.
For what it's worth, I heard Dr Laura talking to a lady the other day & her kid wouldn't go to sleep. Her advice was not to fight about the sleep, but just to make it plain that she has to stay in her room after bedtime comes. She said, when she gets sleepy she'll go to sleep, and if she doesn't, o well, she's not doing brain surgery the next day.

 

[BarbK]

Ruth I didn't take it wrong at all. I totally understand where you are coming from. However so far the doctors and I have tried everthing we could think of so far. We just started seeing a therapist a few weeks ago so hopefully she might know something.
Or maybe someone here has dealt with something close and might give some new ideas.
90% of the time she goes to bed like she is supposed to. Yes she does come to my room in the middle of the night occasionally but hey she is only4.

 

[PurpleChicken]

Barb, You've already shared personal stuff with us so please tell us what medication she
takes and what the doctor said. When she goes to sleep at 4AM what time does she
sleep until.

I'm hearing(reading) a combination of potential abuse/neglect(sperm donor),
severe frustration from you, and medication. Please share a little more.

If your intent was just to vent than so be it. We care.

Ruth and Cookinmom are both right. Consistency and discipline are key. I also like
some of the things Chelly said. Many different forms of parenting will work.

And for the record I do smack my 7 year old when he is bad or needs correction.
Trouble is he usually wants more. "Want a beating?" "Yead Dad give me a beating!"
Maybe that spoon idea will work.

 

[PurpleChicken]

Quote:
90% of the time she goes to sleep normally? She's 4? I thought she was a little older.
This doesn't sound too bad. WHY THE MEDS???

 

[ruth]

Hi Barb - maybe bedtime needs to be a little earlier especially if she takes a long time to go to sleep. Like you said she gets more wired the more tired she is - as do all kids, including mine. If she's staying up that late on some nights - does she sleep all day the next - or does she take naps? Mine also had a non-negotiable nap time each day along with their bedtime because they too became cranky and irritable if they were tired. I always knew when they needed extra sleep when they would start fighting with one another and picking on each other and crying over every little thing. My response was always "Guess who needs a nap? or Guess who needs to go to bed early tonight?" Boy, that would stop them in their tracks - you might want to try that.

 

[Chelly]

Thanks PurpleChicken - you put it all very nicely.

I was just lying in bed with my little one, and realised I hadn't asked what the real problem is....

I think NOT SLEEPING is a symptom of something a little more...
Hungry.... In Pain.... Thirsty.... too much sugar right before bed.... or something else?