Need to vent and possibly get suggestions

[BarbK]

I am still working with the doctors trying to figure out what is going on.
However I had not even considered the possibility of a sleep disorder brought up. Which may not be to far off considering I do have one myself.
I also hadn't thought of using tea or oils the nights she wont go to bed.
Thanks for some of the suggestions I will talk to the doctors about a couple of them and try some of the calming stuff mentioned.

Mods sorry this thread go out of control. This was totally not my intention.

 

[eggchel]

Thank you everyone for keeping on topic and for keeping it fairly civil in spite of the emotionally charged subject and the strong opinions expressed.

Barb needed to vent, as all parents sometimes do, and received many offers of support and advice from the members.




Chel

 

[MandyH]

Being from the medical field and having worked some really sad and scary jobs with children, it seems to me that there may be some sort of chemical/brain imbalance and or abuse that you were not aware of. It is strange how children deal with things that happen to them. I think she does need to see a sexual abuse doctor and a therapist that specializes in things of that nature. Better safe than sorry. I hate for any child to have to have any medication. Lord, I don't even like giving my 2 year old Tylenol. Now the occassional spank with the wooden spoon does wonders.

 

[yearofthedog]

This is a shot in the dark...I read an article some time ago about how processed foods can adversely affect the behavior of children and can make them "hyper" and/or exhibit other behaviors and, consequently, misdiagnosed with ADHD, hyperactivity, etc. I've changed my children's diet and have cut out much of the processed foods, fast foods and sweets and I've seen a slight change in my son's sleeping pattern, he tends to not get that second wind of energy before bedtime. I'm not positive any change is from his diet specifically, but hey, less processed, fast foods and sweets is good in and of itself and it MAY help!

 

[kcfuerst]

I have a 36 year old daughter who did not sleep a whole night until she was four and a half years old. I thought I would die. There were times I thought either she or I were not going to make it another five minutes. These are the things I have learned since then and implementing these habits for my grandchildren have proven to be a delightful success:

My suggestion, now that I am older and wiser....

1. Immediately remove all dairy products: milk, cheese, yogurt, whatever has cow products in it, from her diet. If you need to use milk for anything, use any natural soy or rice milk product, or use Lactaid (a lactose-free milk product).

2. If your family are soda drinkers, throw them out. If you wouldn't feed your chickens a soda, then you are most likely better off without one.

3. Remove all junk food from her diet: processed sweets or snacks, sugarless treats, and salty treats such as chips of all kinds. Replace these with fruits or nuts, dried or fresh. Make a smoothie from strawberries and ice with a little sugar for a treat. Occasional sugar (which YOU add to the diet) should not be a problem.

4. Get a book on self-hypnosis and learn how you can help your child feel wonderful about bedtime.

5. Take your child to an allergist and find out what she is allergic to, both food and environment.

Ideally, if food came from the ground, then it is probably good to eat. If it comes out of a can or a prepackaged thingamajig, then over time it will probably kill you, or at the very least make your child act ugly.

Been there, done that. It works.

 

[cookinmom]

I agree with K8tiecat, and would like to add to that list artificial sweeteners, especially aspartame (Nutrasweet). That stuff is a neurological nightmare.

 

[chickiepoo]

Quote:
Well, Bubba, I'll bite. What you described could apply to more than a couple of my family members. My sister and I both have trouble turning off the brain to sleep. She takes something.
Your questions could also apply to my son. He is 14 now, and I just call him a pyromanic. Also my son who is 26. Always finding burnt paper lying around. I caught Reuben on the front porch the other day with a small piece of cardboard, nail polish remover and a lighter! The older son has always been..."precocious". Behind his back I have said that he was a little too smart for his own d#*% good. Both have always lied (from a very early age).

So. What's up? E-mail me if you like.

 

[aran]

Barb...i read your post and know what you are going through both professionally as a doc and as a parent. When my daughter was born my wife and I were 19 and 17 respectively. We had no idea what we were doing and just did the best we could. Well our daughter would be awake at midnight jumping around our beds whilst we slowly lost our minds. We finally got a book from the library which described the techniques of the Leslie sleep school and man did it work!!
It proposes (put simply) that you have the EXACT same routine starting at the EXACT same time with the EXACT same activity EVERY night. For us that meant dinner, quiet playtime with dad/mum, story, teeth and toilet, pyjamas, another quiet story in bed and then lights out, door closed and no more contact until morning. First night was torture with the kicking and screaming and shoes being thrown at the door etc ( you need to be able to keep the door shut!) but after 1.5hrs or thereabouts silence. She was asleep...we have never had a problem since...i kid you not...one night was all it took. Our daughter was almost 3 at the time.

 

[naturemom]

First of all, (((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) to you.
I have 4yo, too. Our bedtime problems were not as severe, but bedtime was certainly no fun, and it took forever for her to go to sleep. I got a book called The Floppy Sleep Game, by Patti Teel. It's a way of teaching children to relax enough to go to sleep, and makes it fun. It made an incredible difference in our lives. It did take some work for the 1st couple weeks, but it was pleasant work, and actually turned bedtime from absolute misery into something she actually looks forward to! It started out with me reading it to her out of the book, and gradually we switched over to a CD that she listens to, and she goes right to sleep. It sounded almost too good to be true, but it really worked for us. I don't know if it would help in your situation of not, but it might be worth a try.
The author's website is www.pattiteel.com.
I hope you find something that works for you.

 

[Chickerdoodle13]

I know they've probably already tested her for this already, but make sure they have tested her blood sugar for hyperglycemia. Even though you may not be feeding her sugar, there are still plenty of carbs in other things like breads, noodles, crackers, etc. High blood sugar (or juvenile diabetes) that isn't controlled could very well explain most of the problems you are describing. Swings in sugar could cause swings in mood, more severe in some cases. Drinking lots of water is another tell tale sign of high blood sugar. Before I was diagnosed (At 4 1/2) I would always be thirsty and my mom would give me orange juice. That definitely caused some changes in me.

Good luck with this. It seems to be more a medical or psych issue with her, not just misbehavior.