Need to Vent

[Folly's place]

You did the best for them, and it's hard. Most cockerels are meant to be dinner for someone, and yours had the best lives they could have until that last few minutes. Much better lives than those birds from the grocery store!
Nice roosters are wonderful, but many aren't, and only a very few can stay in the flock, so raisnig chicks means making tough decisions sometimes, and it's hard to find homes for the nice cockerels, never mind those who aren't so nice.
They had good lives, and now your pullets and hens will have better lives, as they deserve to have, without those cockerels.
Mary

 

[Parront]

You did the best for them, and it's hard. Most cockerels are meant to be dinner for someone, and yours had the best lives they could have until that last few minutes. Much better lives than those birds from the grocery store!
Nice roosters are wonderful, but many aren't, and only a very few can stay in the flock, so raisnig chicks means making tough decisions sometimes, and it's hard to find homes for the nice cockerels, never mind those who aren't so nice.
They had good lives, and now your pullets and hens will have better lives, as they deserve to have, without those cockerels.
Mary

Exactly. X's 10! Like Folly says, you should feel good and proud of yourself for all the work you did for them. You also get to learn and grow yourself, & your hens will be happier. If we can not look our food in the face, we do not deserve to eat it. In my opinion, anyway, as a mom of a vegetarian.

 

[Coops Dad]

You did right by your birds. Since we hatch our own, I've graduated from culling as soon as they appear to be roosters to culling when they either 1) become aggressive or 2) are big enough to feed 3 and leave a little for a snack later on (whichever comes first).

Its part of the whole thing. "Guaranteed" pullets sometimes aren't, incubating your own eggs has an even worse ratio most of the time. The absolute best you can do is treat them like you love them while they're flock members, then dispatch them as humanely as possible when their clock runs out.

 

[JessicaDotta]

I'm going to be joining you. I am hatching my own chicks, fully aware I am going to turn my cockerels into broilers. I have a lame-duck I am nursing, that I fear having to cull because we've really bonded during the process of my trying to heal her.

The trust part gets me the most, too. It sounds like the deaths were very quick and humane. You carried your husbandry through to the very end. The guilt and sadness will fade.

 

[Sheepheart]

I feel you there, I have some kahki drakes that I have had to make a temporary pen for when I turn everyone out for the day because they became to aggressive (due to mating season)
I’m having to send them to butcher and I’m kinda sad because I raised them from ducklings and the one I took a real liking to (hes my profile pic, oops)
Sadly for the safety of the rest of the flock, we have to make these decisions, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

 

[Happy hen lover]

I applaud you for being a responsible pet owner. After all who's going to protect your girls from the aggressive cocks if you don't. I understand that you feel bad that just shows you're a compassionate pet owner! Yay I'm so glad you passed on the sketchy guy, your gut was right on that one as well as the humane disposal of the cocks that you never asked for. So good job for protecting you hens . After all hatcheries send cock chicks to keep hens warm in shipping. So you did the right thing.

 

[K0k0shka]

It's not dumb. It means that you're human and that you care about your animals. That's a good thing. The reality is that "a good life" does not mean the same thing for a cockerel as it does for a pullet. The sex ratio of chickens' normal way of life in a flock is such that there are always leftover, unwanted cockerels, no matter how humanely they are raised. If you left them to their own devices, they'd end up killing each other anyway. They'd just do it a lot more slowly and brutally than you did. So you did them a favor. That was always their fate. A good life for a cockerel is a short one - as long as you've made it comfortable and happy for them until their inevitable end, you've done a good job.

I had to do the same last year and my males hadn't even gotten aggressive yet. They were sweet little lap dogs, trusting till the end. It was hard, and I still have a lump in my throat thinking about it. But it had to be done.

 

[aart]

Not easy to kill.
But the food they give you(I hope you ate them) should alleviate the 'guilt' into satisfaction.

 

[humblehillsfarm]

What you’re going through is normal, and you made the right choice.

I still have waves of flashbacks of the first (and so far only) young cockerel I dispatched. The day I dispatched him I had him in a box in my kitchen, and he was so curious and calm. I somewhat botched slicing his arteries so his death was a little slower. I had done this while sitting, thankfully, because my legs were bouncing up and down uncontrollably and somewhat alarmingly. I cried. However, I was having the same problems you were having. He had to go. I do not regret my decisions, and I love keeping poultry. I know I will never be able to give up hatching, and so that’s what had to be done.


Let the meat rest for three days before you freeze or bake them. This will give time for rigor mortis to pass, and your uncomfortable feelings will have alleviated somewhat. You and the birds all need that time. They will be some of the best chicken you’ve ever had!

 

[LaFleche]

I killed them just bc they were born the wrong sex. It just seems... I don't know... like a betrayal.

No, I think that was not the reason. Their aggressiveness was and you did the right thing.
They had a very good life until their last day, something that might attenuate your feeling of betrayal.