Not Happy

[herfrds]

Got an e-mail from my mother.
She was telling me how much she loves us and was calling me by a hated nickname I have not used in over 20 years.
Was telling me how she plans to come up this spring.

Family is not happy.

Last fall she came up and got into a fight with DS and left in a huff. Didn't bother to come tell DD that she was leaving. (We were at the fair for DD's 4-H)

neither of my kids want anything to do with her, not does DH.

She is acting like nothing has been done and all I get to hear about is her spending time to go see my sisters kids in Kansas and spending time with my other sisters kids. I really couldn't care less.

honestly I don't want her up here. She stresses us all out, does things to start fights and then cries to her friends about how mean we are to her. She does this all the time.

Any place we can hide?

 

[DuckLady]

Make hotel reservations for her and meet up for dinner or lunch a couple times.

 

[schellie69]

I just had a visit from my MIL she thinks everyone has to live like her. She is June Cleaver. I would have her stay at a hotel and meet for lunch or dinner. I would also set some ground rules. If you really don't want her to come just say this won't work for us, I have the feeling she will come any way. Just remember you can not change how she acts. Nor can you please everyone.

 

[chicmom]

ARG, you have my sympathies....I do like the idea of just saying this "isn't a good time for us"........I've never been really close to my "mommie dearest".....So I can totally relate.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
This is exactly what I did with my mom when we lived further away. I let her have my son for the day and we met for dinner. Buh bye now!!

 

[Bobby Joe]

I hope this visit goes ok for you I really do, I lost my mom in 93' and miss her very much. We had a good relationship and she always told me that we as people can only control how we act and that the actions of others even family arent always good. I would like to say that You are the protector of your family ,kids,DH,and yourself .Since she is your mom you need to be the one to keep her from disrupting your family unit ,they are whats most important ,they will not feel comfortable defending themselves against her , this wont be easy and I wished you and your family didnt have to deal with this. I will send good vibes to yall . Just be nice but be firm and concise. I hope this helps

 

[sourland]

GREAT! advice from Bobby Joe. He/she is right on the money.

 

[chicks4kids]

I would explain to her how her last visit upset everyone. And how the way that she left was really just sad and uncalled for. Talk to her about it, and if she doesn't want to listen, then you've done your part by trying to talk to her. There's no reason that your kids should be worried about her...and they are. If she can't understand it or accept it, or frankly change it, then that's all that would need to be done for you to know the next step.

 

[turney31]

It is O.K. to put TOXIC people out of your life, even mothers!

 

[GiddyMoon]

I am very sorry..I know how you feel. While my mother is wonderful in many ways..she was a very emotionally immature woman for most of her life and still has odd thinking patterns..it can be draining..hugs.,