Carri,
I had added 2 young "show" birds also from a breeder (same as you)...georgeous Belgian Bearded D'Uccles. One died and one survived. I even had them in a separate location. Why the one survived...I don't know (or why I lost the other one for that matter!). I totally understand what you are going through. I obsessed and worried...to the point of practically neglecting my family!! I cried and spent tons of money. One vet was a waste of money (LOTS of $$$$!!!!). I have read so many books and I know SO MUCH now! I finally decided I would "be my own vet" because I feel like I know as much as any other vet or farmer. Purdue University was a wonderful help. The necropsy was the best thing I could have done. I actually took my FAVORITE, sweetest girl there while she was still alive so they could get fresh blood and tissue samples. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done! Just hang in there and do the best you can with your chickens. I am "done", too. My husband just built me a new coop in the fall and I decided over the winter that I will take a break from any new chickens for a while. My boys have lost interest and will not be showing in 4H. They have turned into MY project now!! The two bantams that I have now aren't getting along and I have one in the house! The one in the coop is broody. They are just getting to be too much work - ugh!! I can't wait for spring to arrive!
I'm really sorry about Nugget. I still cry when I think about my sweet, sweet Ginger...and it has been over a year!
Still, I have no regrets. My life has been enriched in many ways by having chickens, loving them, and losing them.
BJ