Offended Members When Corrected

[Michael OShay]

I love BYC and feel like I have an extended family here, but I have to admit that sometimes I am disappointed at how offended some members can act when an error they made with regard to chickens is corrected by another member. Sometimes they will continue to try and defend their error even when a number of experienced members have tried to correct them, and on rare occasions even when someone has posted authoritative documentation of their error. It seems as though their pride is more important to them than truth. I'll grant that there are a few members who lack tact in the way they correct another members errors, but that doesn't change the fact of the error. Shouldn't we be more interested in truth and factual information where our birds are concerned than in protecting our pride. Does anyone else out there feel the way I do?

 

[sourland]

Michael, I hear you loud and clear. I have been name called and nasty PM'd twice recently by folks who chose to misinterpret posts of mine. As in life the good people make up for the others.

 

[ShellyBear]

I understand you, but you got to think how they corrected the person who was wrong. I would rather someone say, I have learned it the opposite way and I think you are incorrect rather than your wrong and you need to learn more about this subject than just saying what ever. And some people didn't know that they were wrong, and just learned it a different way. Some people they think that they are always right, but you should never get a fended just from someone else's post, unless they are actually being aggressive.

 

[N F C]

I love BYC and feel like I have an extended family here, but I have to admit that sometimes I am disappointed at how offended some members can act when an error they made with regard to chickens is corrected by another member. Sometimes they will continue to try and defend their error even when a number of experienced members have tried to correct them, and on rare occasions even when someone has posted authoritative documentation of their error. It seems as though their pride is more important to them than truth. I'll grant that there are a few members who lack tact in the way they correct another members errors, but that doesn't change the fact of the error. Shouldn't we be more interested in truth and factual information where our birds are concerned than in protecting our pride. Does anyone else out there feel the way I do?

Yes Michael, we should.

I'm here to learn and like to think others are the same. Everyone is entitled to their opinions but I would hope people are mature enough to know their opinions are not always factually correct and be open to changing those opinions. Resorting to name calling and being rude is indefensible. It's all about respect, which goes both ways.

@sourland I am so sorry that has happened to you! There's simply no excuse for that. You've given so much time and energy into this site, we'd all be a lot poorer without it. Whoever would do such a thing is in the minority, 99.9% think you're one cool dude!

I don't know what triggered all this, but I love BYC too and hate to see discord and rudeness.

 

[enola]

I hate it when I see incorrect information posted. I usually subscribe to the thread and hope someone else can come along that can explain it better than I can. If no one else straightens the facts out, then I will try. But, I am not the most tactful person in the world......

 

[Blooie]

I must confess that I have been guilty of this myself a time or two. Sometimes it's hard not to come across as overly-critical when what's being touted as end-all-be-all fact flies so far against common sense that you find yourself wondering if you've run into a troll just trying to get a rise. I do, however, do one thing that I haven't seen many do - offer an apology as publicly as I spoke out of turn. I don't think PMing an apology to someone you've offended cuts it.....if you had the hutzba to dish it out publicly than you owe the other person and the other folks on the thread an apology just as open. And making a rude comment or arguing with someone isn't okay just because you put a smiley face in your post.

I think I've gotten better at phrasing things, but I do tend to be sarcastic, and not everybody appreciates sarcasm. I have to do a better job of remembering that, and I also still have to learn that it's better to roll my eyes at the computer than let my fingers get out of control. I'm a work in progress!

 

[Michael OShay]

I understand you, but you got to think how they corrected the person who was wrong. I would rather someone say, I have learned it the opposite way and I think you are incorrect rather than your wrong and you need to learn more about this subject than just saying what ever. And some people didn't know that they were wrong, and just learned it a different way. Some people they think that they are always right, but you should never get a fended just from someone else's post, unless they are actually being aggressive.

I know what you are saying, and agree that even when we feel the need to correct someone, we should show due respect to that person. That's why I said in my post that some people lack tact. And I can also understand that people learn something incorrectly. I've learned loads of things incorrectly over the years, and have been corrected on some things by BYC members (and not always tactfully). But even then I purpose not to respond in a nasty way and I hope that I will always seek to know the truth than to try and salvage my pride. My pride won't do other members who ask questions any good, but the truth certainly will. )

 

[Michael OShay]

Yes Michael, we should.

I don't know what triggered all this, but I love BYC too and hate to see discord and rudeness.

Just to set the record straight. This has nothing to do with any personal incident on my part. I've noticed one BYC member in particular (who shall remain nameless) who is very blunt in refuting posters' errors. I would not personally be offended by his/her blunt replies and i don't really think they are intentionally being rude, but I think some members have taken it that way, and rather than simply thanking this member for pointing out their errors, they have responded in a belligerent, defensive manner. For those of us who've been members for a while, we take it in stride, but it can be quite shocking and discouraging to new members.

 

[Michael OShay]

I do, however, do one thing that I haven't seen many do - offer an apology as publicly as I spoke out of turn. I don't think PMing an apology to someone you've offended cuts it.....if you had the hutzba to dish it out publicly than you owe the other person and the other folks on the thread an apology just as open. . . . I'm a work in progress!

As are we all; and I will second the need for public apologies when these kind of offenses occur. Unfortunately though, it seems that pride often gets in the way of making needed public apologies, and we are all losers when that happens.

 

[Mutt Farm]

Just to set the record straight. This has nothing to do with any personal incident on my part. I've noticed one BYC member in particular (who shall remain nameless) who is very blunt in refuting posters' errors. I would not personally be offended by his/her blunt replies and i don't really think they are intentionally being rude, but I think some members have taken it that way, and rather than simply thanking this member for pointing out their errors, they have responded in a belligerent, defensive manner. For those of us who've been members for a while, we take it in stride, but it can be quite shocking and discouraging to new members.

Oh boy. I hear ya, but it goes both ways. Rude is rude, intentional or not. Tact is an essential skill. Viewpoint from a new member with 30 years exp. I know a ton about some things, little or nothing about others. in that case, I bump. If I offer suggestions that turn out to be not best practice, I humbly apologize. I hope I only jump in if a new member is left hanging, I don't see a suggested solution, or I have personal exp. Some folks are bound and determined to be right, even it they're not. Some folks start a thread, asking for opinions only to argue. They really didn't want outside opinions. Some folks seem to troll the posts to administer their husbandry, prove people wrong or for self gratification. That has happened quite often to me. If I'm 2 inches off on how high or how big an old timer thinks a nest box should be, coop dimensions, bedding, feed,

. I have had an encounter or 2 with the same type poster you speak of. I've seen it when following threads. It is quite discouraging to new members. I have time on my hands. Lucky to be retired. Somewhere BYC asked for folks to respond to new members to welcome them. I have a look around to see where I might help, what interests me. I've seen brand new members scolded for posting a question in the wrong forum. Scolded for their question or blamed for their dilemma.

Just not tactful. I'm really glad you started this thread. Let's ask how our words are received and what is our motivation for posting. Be kind. This is a wonderful site full of friendly knowledgeable helpful folks. Thank you for having me.

Edit to be more on point and remove the example I gave. It was to specific.