Office Work, Part Deux: Professional Mayhen

[maple]

I got a chuckle out of the baseball strawberries...those are cute.

 

[maple]

You may be wondering what I'm doing up at such an hour when I told you I was exhausted and feeling some chest pressure....welll, I did go take my heart meds and then some others for pain...and I fell asleep apparently because I was watching Calliou because it was about gardening and I didn't find out how the show ended with thier scarecrow and pie plates and if it did keep the birds from eating thier seeds and if any plants sprouted.

So what...it's a nice comforting cartoon and it reminds me of when my Zoe was real little and adored that program....and how sweet and innocent she was...back in the days before she started mocking me and sassying back....sigh....

Oh yeah, what was I saying? So Poncho big dog started growling...so this deserved investigation since he didn't stop. I went to the front door and turned the light on...where I saw my front porch being used by the nieghbor's "stray cats" (funny that's how she calls them...stray...if they were stray you wouldn't have captured them and moved them along with you, is my general idea. Nor would you have spayed nor neutered them, provide them cat beds, and food and water...but so there two cats were using my front porch as a bordello. That's right. Except now that my black cat has figured out mama cat even though he's fixed....I wasn't quite with it enough to get a good enough glimpse of the black cat on top...if it was mine or not. So I searched the house but couldn't find my black cat.

....great. So I went outside and started to sweetly call for him, Trooper....Trooper. And here comes Petey who was on the back corner of the porch apparently having a peep show. Darn it...Trooper won't come to me with Petey rubbing all over me....that would ruin Trooper's tough manly black panther exterior. So I go to the garage to see if perhaps he ran back in that direction and has been the place I've captured him 2x thus far. Here come Petey and Fuzzy rubbing me...well, thier food is disappearing QUICKLY. Apparently I'm feeding the 6 (or so I've been told---could be more) stray cats from the neighbor's....mumble grumble.... stay on YOUR side of the road stupid cats!

But then I heard some scuffles upstairs garage loft...can't be fuzzy or Petey...so who is it? Sounds big though. Now I'm worried. Is it a raccoon? The bulb burned out up there...I can't see. My bunnys been out in the garage in her cage but it is NOT predator proof by any means...it'd be very easy to break into because the previous owners cut a whole in the wire and added a homemade bunny hutch that just presses to the side of the cage and is not affixed by any means.

So bunny is now residing on my bathroom floor until I am able to bring her cage in in the morning and find her a better spot in the house.... Zoe already has claimed to want her in her room. But it's hot up there so I need to put the window air units in but then I need some stryofoam or something for the sides..since the windows are fairly large...and most windows in this joint do not have a screen....next time anyone goes to by a house...pay attention to details like that...that's my advice.

Now I'm in the house still wondering if that was my black cat but knowing fully well there is another black cat because it's fooled me mutiple times and one time ran across the street and came within inches of getting hit. That was horrific but I knew when it ran from me that it was not my daughters cat. ...still...not in any mood to see a cat get squished. That's right...that is EXACTLY the adjective that fits this description and it is not trademarked or does a certain someone have the market cornered on that adjective and I'm darn well, allowed to use the adjective and have been enjoying using that adjective for a number of years because in fact I had a ferret back in the day that I named Squish and when people would ask me why I named him that...I would squish him and say, because he's squishy. He was my favorite squishy baby and I miss him and I can use that adjective if I want...and in no way am I implying anything about anything other than the webster dictionary use of the word in which it was intended to be used. And that's all I have to say about that.

But anyhoo.....I went upstairs fed the cats....looked and looked and then I saw him...sitting in my spot on the couch....you know when you get up from a spot and then the cats go sit there because it must be warm? Not that they need that warmth now being it is kinda hot right now...must mean tomorrow is going to be miserablely hot. ....hmmmm....just what I need since we've got to drive to the gastro and my air in my car doesn't work and I can't roll down the windows...execept for the crack the drivers side window has been stuck at. I heard there was supposed to be t-storms tonight. I'm waiting...but I don't think it's gonna happen. I gave up and turned on my poorly circulating air conditoner. That's right...first time I have a place that has air and it stinks.

I got a stupid air conditioner and I have a stupid stove with stupid wrong components...and I have stupid bordello neighbor cats that I was informed that ALL of them were fixed except for 2 male intact cats they couldn't catch. I can't understand why the light caramel female cat was volunteering her services then if she was spayed? And I know both of the cats are thiers because in the day I see them fertilizing their garden while the human inhabitants are out there jumping on the trampoline.

...and that has been the nightly news at Maple's new residence.


You don't think if I set traps out and somehow some of thier "strays" mysteriously disappeared that they'd suspect me do ya?

I didn't tell you about the hose incident either did I?

Ok...I'll tell....

So yesterday the pool guy comes and he needs more length of hose than I have here. So I borrow my chiroprator ladies hose next door. **** I know buff, your disappointed that I did not move next door to Dr. Kory but moved in next to Dr. Heather's residence...that's ok, Dr. Heather is a doll...her little boy may be slightly annoying but that's another story or 3.***** But Dr. Heather's hose is still not enough. I need one more hose to reach so the pool guy can do his job or it is a wasted trip. So I go across the street because I swear I see their grade schooler who uses a walker just walk behind the house. They seemed very nice...christian folk...I know they'd allow me to borrow thier hose. I go over there, ring the doorbell and knock and no one comes. Ok, maybe mom is helping dd use bathroom or something?

I go to next neighbor who came over 2 nights ago and interduced herself...no one is home but I have a feeling she's at the nursing home with her son where she says she spends most of her days. I remember the family name...she had 3 boys...all older like some of my oldest sisters ages. Tragically 2 have died accidently and one is brain damaged from a car accident 2 years ago and lives his life in the nursing home. She watches his 2 children frequently and was excited to see my girls as potential play mates for her grandchildren. Very nice lady...but not home.

I go back to other neighbor and try ringing bell several times and knocking LOUDER. Still...nothing. But there is thier hose laying there on the lawn. So I borrowed it. I decided to keep my eyes peeled and attempted multiple times to inform them. I see 2 vehicles in the drive at one point and try again....nothing. What the heck? Why aren't they answering thier door? Later I see 2 teen boys but I have not met thier children at this point because when I met the parents...kids were all in school. I did know that the mother had trouble carrying her children and 1 daughter was in grade school in walker and 1 son was in middle school in a wheel chair but I wasn't sure about the rest but knew they had more children. So I see the boys on bikes and I'm in my mom's car pulling out and decide to go over there for one last try before I go mow old property lot. The boys ride off and I think...maybe they aren't their boys? I knock again...nothing. Go back to the car and see the boys on my front porch? huh?

I call over and they ride back and I ask if they live here? Yes. I say, oh great. I've been trying multiple times in the last hour or so to get a hold of your parents. I have borrowed your hose. The pool guy got here and I didn't have enough hose and they needed it to continue thier work. I hope that's ok and would you please let your parents know that soon as it's done...maybe in a couple of hours according to the pool guy...that I will bring it back right away and I do appologize for taking it without talking to anyone first. And like I said, I saw your sister and saw the cars and I tried a bunch of times but no one was coming to the door? And since I met your parents and they were very nice I thought they would be ok with it. So again...I appologize and I'll bring it back as soon as it's done.

The older kid laughed and said, well, I wondered where it went and we were out fishing--him and his bro---and his mom was probably asleep. Oh, I said, I'm sorry...I don't mean to bother anyone.

Ok, so I go mow. At one point my mom comes tearin up the drive and she's flipping out because the pool water is pouring out...a hose to the filter has split and there goes the water...sigh.... I call pool guy and he's turning around but it's still half hour 45 min. back to my house. Nothing I can do so I send mom back and finish mowing. I finish mowing and at this point I think to myself...go order some burgers at the new bar who's known for great burgers and get them to go...by then the ducks should be close to putting themselves to bed...drive back by house...shut coop door...press on and go home....

I pull in drive and the look on my mom's face says there's trouble and the neighbor lady is standing there. uh oh.... So I get out of car and Molly dog is about killing my mom so I grab Molly and say, mom let me take her...and I go hook her up to her chain. Mom calls out...your neighbor needs her hose back. I call back cheerfully, Ok, I'll go grab it!

I roll it up and hand it to her and explain it all...she's still acting aloof and odd. I don't know. It was wierd. At one point she says her dad was home and saw me and didn't answer the door because he doesn't know me and then told her, "hey, I think your new neigbhor just took your hose." ok????

One of her sons is there with us on his bike, the younger one that was on my porch and I say, Hey, I saw your lawn mowing sign you made and left on my porch...is that you and your brother then? Are you saving up your money for something special? He just says, they need money. Mom pipes in and says they want to play ball and the older one has drivers training and they need $500 by July and it's not budgeted money...she says, even if you qualify for reduced lunches...they still don't give you a break on the sports or drivers training classes.... I said, I understand because I do...I qualify for free lunches for my daughters. She probably thinks I'm nuts since I said I had the pool guy over but hey, I just bought the house...it's got a pool....we don't do vacations like some of my other friends do...and trips thoughout the year....I roughly estimated the cost of keeping it running from getting the information from the previous owners...so I'm getting help un-leafing and un-greening it...and I won't feel bad.

At anyrate she left and I just could tell she felt put out and I felt horrible. I was like, geez, why wouldn't they answer their door? And I thought if it was me, I'd ****...wait...more to story...**** I go in house after that with our burgers and mom says she was really mad. I said, really? She was? And mom says, yeah, she says tell your daughter she shouldn't borrow things without asking.

So if it were me....I'd: after hearing my dad say I think your new neighbor just took your hose (doesn't that sound like she was there then too? plus the boys said she may have been sleeping?) I would have gone over to my new neighobrs to investigate and be like, hey, my dad said you were over and saw you take my hose.... And then I would have gotten the explanation...pool guy...needed hose right away to do his work....I saw your cars...but no one was answering...I am sorry....I hope you don't mind....

And then I would have said, well, it was a little strange for my dad who doesn't answer the door when he doesn't know a person...but it's ok this time but I'll need the hose back by ? o'clock to water my garden...

But everyone knows you don't water your garden in the heat of the day...you do it at night or in the wee hours of the morning...that's when the plant best utilzes the water. but at anyrate. it was weeeeeird.

 

[maple]

gosh...stop keeping me up all hours of the night. You and all your wierd cat stories and weird neighbor stories....

 

[ChickenAlgebra]

Good morning everyone! Blah, worthless children, keeping me from sleeping.

Mapes, get some sleep!

 

[ibpboo]

Good morning

Maybe today I will try catching up on housework.


That's a weird hose story maple.

 

[dacjohns]

Quote:
I tell ya it is makin me NUTS!!!! Better now with a drink and calamine. So which one worked?? LOL!

You pour the drink on the itch and drink the calamine.

Just kidding folks that aren't old enough to know better.

 

[ChickenAlgebra]

Quote:
I tell ya it is makin me NUTS!!!! Better now with a drink and calamine. So which one worked?? LOL!

You pour the drink on the itch and drink the calamine.

Just kidding folks that aren't old enough to know better.

Well, the drink might help the itch. But I wouldn't drink the calamine. But thanks for the warning, I'm not smart enough to know better

 

[dacjohns]

g, we keep telling you to write a book about your life. It would be great.

 

[NellaBean]

Just reading g's story wore me out. Was at the post office this morning picking up chicks. 2 didn't make it, the rest look pretty good.

 

[sparkles2307]

omigosh I was gone for like, 14 hours and there were like 10 pages to catch up on!

Hi everyone, sorry about the sickies, itchies, and sleeplessness all!

My broody silkie got her eggs stolen (she decided to go broody out of the coop and I've been trying to figure out how to move her....) 2 nites ago but wont leave the nest. I had 4 duck eggs in the bator and the heatch date was going to be the day we leave for our epic road trip with a huge backstory so I took them out and gave them to her, BUT I made her move into the summer pen with the 9 ducklings so nothing can get her.

She sat for about 5 minutes happily crooning to her new eggs, then realized she wasnt in her old nest and FREAKED OUT. I've never heard her make so much noise! I didn't let her out tho, just old her to keep those babies warm. She did a few angry laps around the pen and then settled back on the new nest and was still locked on when I checked this morning.

My broody duck with about 30 eggs is getting restless and so help me if she bails now that there are only a few days to hatch I'll kill her.

DH was a crab apple this morning. I think he's losing some hearing because he is ALWAYS yelling at me and the kids for mumbling and being "mush mouthed" but I can hear everything everyone is saying just fine, he is the only one having an issue hearing.
He gets all defensive when I gently suggest that it might be him and not us. I'm tired of my kids getting yelled at for talking like babies 6 times a day when they ARENT. It hurts them to get yelled at every time they open their mouth. He's been a good dad to them, but he seems to forget at times that they are MINE not his and I get the final word, and if I say "stop yelling at my kids" and he doesnt then there are going to be issues. *le sigh* I love the man to death but the past week he's just been so cranky at the kids that we've reached critical mass and everything he says makes me want to strangle him (figuratively, for those not old enough to know better, I'm not actually planning ill toward my hubby)... this road trip in 2 weeks will be so much fun if we can't get this all hammered out now...