Office Work, Part Deux: Professional Mayhen

[maple]

My grandma and grandpa--paternal side...stayed over for a week or so and they stayed in the spare bedroom which is in the end of the house where my parents room is and it has a bathroom between both rooms.

Well, that's the bathroom my dad used to get ready for work...well, Grandma woke up and REALLY had to go but the door was locked and occupied by her son so she scooted through the house to make it to the other bathroom...and I really do mean she scooted...she left a trail and my mom was furious that she was left to clean up my grandma's dook while it was my DAD'S mother and he should have stayed home and be made late for work to clean it up. And it was on carpet...at least the carpet was rusty brown.

 

[maple]

One time in my high school days me and my bff had to travel with my sister and her hubby and their baby boy in the middle of the back seat home from MD. to Il. for our family vacation... Well, it was hell. Baby boy was sooo fussy the whole trip and then he sheeeet his pants so bad the whole ride home it was oozing out his diapers and into his car seat.


The next year me and my friend took a handful of mom's tylanol for the car ride home...I put it in the back of the window sill and my dad got this look like, is that drugs???

Like I'd advertise them that way....but anyway, I showed him it was tylanol because of the horror we had on the trip back the year before. He was relieved to say the least.

He was always good for a good scare like the time I bought magnetic earings and put one in my nose...his reaction was priceless. Forbid if I were to peirce myself somewhere unseemingly....but then I got a real tattoo and then my navel peirced...I figure I broke him down by then and he was too old and tired to make much of a fuss any more.

 

[maple]

ok, next story...I'm waiting...

 

[Orchid]

Honestly, I try hard to forget most stories involving poo.

 

[maple]

Mushroom Hunting


One time...in band camp....

I was never in band camp but it sounded funny...

 

[LarryPQ]

A kid I used to babysit (semi-family) had a kid and got married.

We didnt want to go the reception because Ender was tummy-sick and had been peeing out his bumhole for days. E was starting to crawl with speed, so ~ 8 months old?

Anywhoo- you get where this is going.

Reception, big open area, dance floor, super-fast crawler with liquid poos, long wedding dress train.



I WIN!!!

 

[maple]

I'd say Ender is the winner.

 

[ChickenAlgebra]

Yappers, all you yappers.

Norman looks like BasementCat. Very cute

 

[maple]

So my x used to have a lawn company...he was out at this job...a residential farther out from anywhere to stop in and buy a soda and crap...and next to a wooded lot. The people were not home so he decides...his coffee is kickin in, he can't hold it, doesn't want to stop and load up to drive somewhere...so he goes and relieves himself in the woods....that evening he's presented with poison ivy all over his man parts. bwha ha ha ha ha

 

[maple]

But were yappin about poo.