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DD#2 (age 7) has done all that, broke all the windows in the playhouse, kicked a hole in the bathroom door, broke the mirrors in her bedroom, my dining room table will someday be stripped and re-done after being sanded down 1/4 inch. Compulsive eating, locks on the pantry but the fridge is harder. Locks on DD#1's bedroom door, locks on all the animal pens. We don't keep fish anymore at all. Is in special ed and still gets sent home on a regular basis.
This isn't a comparison one-up-manship, I'll PM you and tell you what has helped so far. Somewhat. Sometimes better than at other times. Work in progress.
And I'm sorry. What you are going through is big time sucky, I really, really know. What you are describing was described to me during foster-adopt classes and I opted out. We adopted an infant and I guess some things were just meant to be, cause here we are.