Office Work.......

[Orchid]

My siblings tend to chide me for setting too good an example, but finally at 24 and 26 they are starting to catch up.

I forgot to tell you guys yesterday, my brother got the job he applied for in Thief River! It's a good job and he is very excited.

 

[Buff Hooligans]

Quote:
Boring!

My two older brothers married nice girls who had babies and didn't have to work for a living. My sister never dated or married, and although I married, I didn't want children.
I sort of wonder what, if anything in my parents marriage, affected us two girls so much...

 

[Buff Hooligans]

Quote:
So, safecracking is the way to go?

 

[Orchid]

Quote:
So, safecracking is the way to go?

Yes ma'am.

 

[dacjohns]

Quote:
I caused my parents a lot of grief. The funny thing is, when they thought I was off the straight and narrow is when I was pretty close to it. When I strayed they were clueless. Then I left home.

I imagine you and Cathy are gonna have to pull up a chair next visit so we can hear some more stories.

Don't count on it.

 

[wegotchickens]

A thread on making soap from breast milk.

The girls ache just thinking about it.....

 

[maple]

Quote:
Yeah, I guess so. But not if you have a guilt complex the rest of your life and you know your mom passed away while still disappointed in you.

To quote Nells, "le sigh".

How old was she and how old were you when she passed? Was it illness or accident?

And Lori is right...she loved you.

I know it's hard when we know we have let our parents down....even if they have let us down as well. We want to be special in our parents eyes but some times the hurt or confusion in our own lives makes us act out inappropriately...dealing with things in our own little dimented way. The consequences we don't think about so much. That our parents love us and want whats best for us and to see us thrive in life is understandable. It greives thier soul to watch our reckless behavior...to watch us struggle when they know we have it in us to take the initiative to make things better for ourselves. They see thier own parents mortality and start to think of thier own and think, I won't be here forever and they want to see our lives be good so they don't have to worry. I know this even with small children and thier behaviors at time and my heart issues and to facing my own mortality. I think....they have to be strong, they have to be nice-especially to each other, they can't be so bratty and useless...they have to help out in life...pertaining to themselves as an individual and as a family unit and as members in a community. I know they are 9 and 5 and yes, I have expectations from them but it's only because I have lived my own tortured life and I don't want the same for them. I want to see them have more joy in this life than I did and I know part of it is within themselves and another part of it is holding fast to thier faith in Jesus. I must lead by example but even now I am not doing a wonderful job...the divorce and health thing are draggin me WAY down and it sucks but I'm letting it be that way. Picking up and purging IS very much a part of self initiative to getting Gretchy better.

I want you to know though...there can be times that I can be madder then all get out at my kids for something but if I would perish at that very moment....my heart knows no bounds for the love I have for them. It would greive me so to perish and have them think mommy was mad, sad, or disappointed in them and then to live a life for days, months, years that reflected thier self doubt and self hate within them. It would tear me up inside to no end. I would hope that thier faith would get them through it and they could come to understand that mommy loved them soooo sooo much and the dissappointment or anger that I displayed was only because of my own inner workings of fear and perhaps dissappointement with myself for not being a better example and loosing my cool at times rather than being a "perfect" mom.

Buff....I need to love myself and pull myself out of this dark hole I've let cave in around me. And whatever it is that you have or are going through...you too need to love yourself...as your mom loved you and as Jesus and Our Father God love you. I know we can get through this...it takes food from the soul to remind us of it when we start to slide back into the self loathing. We are loved and we are special and we count and when we take the initiative---which it sounds like you are---we are bettering ourselves and God our Father is proud and joyful and wants us to continue on in His name.

There...there's my two cents.

 

[maple]

Quote:
I was born to a black sheep and I had 3 older sisters by 10, 8, and 5 years ahead of me to pave the way. I had to exceed the meaning. But I often think maybe life would have turned out better had I been practicing cello and going to church.

You found your Shift key!!!!!!!!!!

"Exceed the meaning". I love that. You know what they say, always try to go above and beyond people's expectations.

I wanted to make you proud.

 

[maple]

Quote:
Time to send out the nellybeans lightening bolts from eyes and steam from ears look.

 

[maple]

Quote:
Boring!

My two older brothers married nice girls who had babies and didn't have to work for a living. My sister never dated or married, and although I married, I didn't want children.
I sort of wonder what, if anything in my parents marriage, affected us two girls so much...

Very interesting she says, writing on her pad of paper. And how does this make you feel?



^ see.... g knows how shrinks do it.