Oh Craigslist, You Amuse Me So!

[Nelson-90]

free to a good home

I have a lab-st benard mix thats free to a good home. hes almost 32 yrs old. he looks more lab thn st benard. hes a good dog loves to play. he will be scared at first but u keep showin him love he will lovr u back and protect you. his nsmr is pup-pup

Ialso have a german shepard - chow mix. she almost a year old. shes very playfuk shes loveable needs a good hom. i dont havd time for them abd they deserve love and someone who csn take care of yhem.please contact

That,s one old dog lol

 

[SillyChicken]

Red Iland Rosters - $7 (Brant )

I have 3 ,10 Month old rosters red road iland about 7-8pounds I have to many they need to go 7dollar pice obo

 

[Mrs. Fluffy Puffy]

I saw an ad on my local CL the other day for Chickens for Sale...Turkens..here is what is said about them:

I have one Turken hen who is a Turkey x Chicken, she is a very good layer, but very ugly due to the Turkey in her.......


Are some people seriously THAT clueless? LOL

~ Aspen

 

[Chick_In_The_Burbs]

I saw an ad on my local CL the other day for Chickens for Sale...Turkens..here is what is said about them:

I have one Turken hen who is a Turkey x Chicken, she is a very good layer, but very ugly due to the Turkey in her.......


Are some people seriously THAT clueless? LOL

~ Aspen

If they can think a white egg started out brown but was bleached clean or a green egg is rotten/moldy, yes. I can EASILY see that.

 

[Mrs. Fluffy Puffy]

If they can think a white egg started out brown but was bleached clean or a green egg is rotten/moldy, yes. I can EASILY see that.

~ Aspen

 

[Jennsbirds]

I'm constantly looking for jobs and I keep seeing ads like these: 'r u a writter? Write for us!'

I can see why they needed help.

This one was amusing in the slassifieds: FREE: used duck

 

[Gargoyle]

This one was amusing in the classifieds: FREE: used duck

That's actually U.S.E.D. duck- United States Education Department duck.
It was furloughed in the sequester when its school duck program was closed, and so it's looking for a new job. You really should ask it to send you its resume.

 

[P-Funk]

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

Date: 2011-11-27, 1:43 am. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I
hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend,
threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and
earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important
message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to
actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket..
The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason..
my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a
Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom
Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder
holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very
intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with
crap in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I
made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented
you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I
explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up
my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on
your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was
extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with
all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at
the curb ..... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the
entire driver's side of the car.

Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office
and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while
he traced your number etc.).

;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel
this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your
threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these
rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the
opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've
chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.
Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi,

Alex

 

[babymakes6]

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

Date: 2011-11-27, 1:43 am. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I
hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend,
threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and
earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important
message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to
actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket..
The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason..
my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a
Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom
Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder
holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very
intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with
crap in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I
made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented
you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I
explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up
my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on
your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was
extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with
all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at
the curb ..... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the
entire driver's side of the car.

Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office
and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while
he traced your number etc.).

;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel
this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your
threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these
rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the
opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've
chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.
Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi,

Alex

 

[lovemybirdpets]

2 chickens for sale. 5 dollars per chicken, or 2 for 10 dollars. thanks for looking.