Oh Craigslist, You Amuse Me So!

[Nelson-90]

 

[Yayah]

http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/grd/3253878216.html


Buck Worthingtons...

oh gosh.... i snorted! hahaha

 

[Nelson-90]

its funny how they can misspell and cause havock upon themselfs

 

[donrae]

I gotta say, this one literally has me speechless. I keep thinking to say something, my mouth opens, my mouth closes, my eyes close. Repeat.

http://medford.craigslist.org/grd/3259260765.html

100% vegan manure - $7 (Ashland)

Date: 2012-09-08, 2:58PM PDT



Note: I apologize if this posting is offensive, but it is completely honest and true, and the business is legitimate. Thank you.

I have sold my own human fecal manure for three years in shasta county, but have since relocated to Ashland and am looking for a new customer base. I am a vegan, no milk products!! This will be the most high quality manure for farming, gardening, and houseplants (I reccomend letting houseplants sit outside for a day or so to let the smell settle before bringing them back into your home). I do offer one pound testers for new customers. Once a month I also do a six day tomato binge for high nutrient manure. That goes for $9/lb. Please CALL for more information. I have almost no internet access so CALL PLEASE. Not e-mail.
I am willing to eat up to 4,500 calories per day for large orders.
I look forward to serving you.

 

[oldrooster]

I gotta say, this one literally has me speechless. I keep thinking to say something, my mouth opens, my mouth closes, my eyes close. Repeat.

http://medford.craigslist.org/grd/3259260765.html

100% vegan manure - $7 (Ashland)

Date: 2012-09-08, 2:58PM PDT



Note: I apologize if this posting is offensive, but it is completely honest and true, and the business is legitimate. Thank you.

I have sold my own human fecal manure for three years in shasta county, but have since relocated to Ashland and am looking for a new customer base. I am a vegan, no milk products!! This will be the most high quality manure for farming, gardening, and houseplants (I reccomend letting houseplants sit outside for a day or so to let the smell settle before bringing them back into your home). I do offer one pound testers for new customers. Once a month I also do a six day tomato binge for high nutrient manure. That goes for $9/lb. Please CALL for more information. I have almost no internet access so CALL PLEASE. Not e-mail.
I am willing to eat up to 4,500 calories per day for large orders.
I look forward to serving you.

OMG! OMG! OMG!

 

[donrae]

Yeah, we're wondering if you order that by the crapton, or what.............

 

[chickened]

I wonder if the paper is organic also? That is sick.

 

[zazouse]

I gotta say, this one literally has me speechless. I keep thinking to say something, my mouth opens, my mouth closes, my eyes close. Repeat.

http://medford.craigslist.org/grd/3259260765.html

100% vegan manure - $7 (Ashland)

Date: 2012-09-08, 2:58PM PDT



Note: I apologize if this posting is offensive, but it is completely honest and true, and the business is legitimate. Thank you.

I have sold my own human fecal manure for three years in shasta county, but have since relocated to Ashland and am looking for a new customer base. I am a vegan, no milk products!! This will be the most high quality manure for farming, gardening, and houseplants (I reccomend letting houseplants sit outside for a day or so to let the smell settle before bringing them back into your home). I do offer one pound testers for new customers. Once a month I also do a six day tomato binge for high nutrient manure. That goes for $9/lb. Please CALL for more information. I have almost no internet access so CALL PLEASE. Not e-mail.
I am willing to eat up to 4,500 calories per day for large orders.
I look forward to serving you.

Seems to me that you could just use your own poo rather than buy someone elses poo...

them folks must have a compost potty.

 

[Gargoyle]

That post has been removed from Craigslist, but out of morbid curiosity I googled "vegan manure" and discovered there are loads of blog posts and discussions about whether a vegan can eat food grown with manure compost. Who'd a thunk it?

 

[RyeRanch]

Best ad ever for a broken washer and dryer, maybe a few sessions with a therapist and they would be good as new:


Washer & Dryer - Free To Good Home (San Diego)

Date: 2012-09-09, 7:19PM PDT
Reply to this post [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

I'm the world's worst handyman, so literally the second my appliances turn sideways I give up on them. This Washer & Dryer combo is no different. They both need some work, hell, I dunno, maybe they just need to be kicked a few times.

The washer does everything right except go into spin cycle. It simply refuses, I think it's holding a grudge from the capri pants I ran through them a few years back.

The dryer gets hot and stuff, but makes no effort to spin around. I believe this is due in large part to it's lack of motivation or perhaps it's distracted by the all of the complaining that the bitter Washer does.

Both of these old friends run on electricity, but probably can be converted to gas (I don't have Harry Potter's phone number on hand, but I assume he could do that type of work).

Here are the dimensions:

Width--27in
Depth--25.5in
Height--35in
Religion--Unsure

Please take these off of my hands as soon as possible so that I can find new friends.