Oh wow, did not see that coming

[schellie69]

I hope you chick and daughter both get better. Things like this happen with children no matter if their girl or boys. I have 2 of each and they each did a lot of things that we not right but I used those times to teach them. I don't think all boys are mean as children grow up to be mean they do have a few more problems with getting into some trouble but that's kids. I am sure he was trying to make the chicken fly.

 

[susannemw]

Personally, I think the 'boys will be boys" thing should be banned completely from peoples vocabulary. That is so wrong to use that as an excuse for violent and disturbing cruel behavior. I have boys, and while they are fast and loud, they are not deliberately cruel or stupid. To say that 'boys just act that way' makes it seem like they are not able to understand what they are doing, and will be excused just because of their gender. Would it be OK for a girl? No. All boys/kids can understand right from wrong and generally make good choices if the adults in their life teach it and expect them to apply it every day.
It sounds to me that there may be something really wrong with the child that acts appropriately when an adult is around, and is abusive when unsupervised. Was the child remorseful, or act like he knew he had done something wrong? If not, then I would be extremely concerned for his budding mental health.



edited for grammar and spelling.

 

[ChickyLaura]

I would just keep a watchful eye on your chick.

My daughter, who is 10, loves to show off all our animals. Well, last year she had a friend over who did the same thing! She was throwing one of my hens in the air! It wasn't 20-30 feet, but she has not been back since. My daughter was yelling and trying to get her to stop, but she didn't until I saw what was happening.

Yesterday she had another friend over, and she wouldn't get away from my brooder. I have them in my laundry room, and again this little girl wasn't listening to my daughter to get out of the laundry room. I went in, and after the third time of me demanding she go back in to the kitchen, she did. Kids that aren't raised around animals are bound to be curious, but come on!

 

[catchthewind]

Okay I'm new to the forums, but this particular subject is one I've done a lot of my research/studying about. While it's true boys tend to have less empathy, a lot of people feel it's more a function of how boys are raised than anything. My father (though I love him dearly) has very little empathy. He often laughs at other people's problems because they're not things that would necessarily bother him. He was raised in a completely different era where he was punished for trying to show his feelings. While we are in a different society now, there are still many children, but especially boys, who are encouraged (sometimes very strongly) not to cry, that it's wrong to be upset, etc. Empathy starts with the parents modelling it, by having empathy towards the child when the child is upset about things, even when they are things that the parent wouldn't be upset about. Modelling understanding and compassion towards children will help them learn to develop those skills. I recently read a study about empathy and compassion in kindergarten-age children and the different parenting that was pretty interesting. Also, kids who are punished for things without being given any information about what they could do instead and how to be gentle, are just going to resort back to that behaviour when there's no one around to watch.

That being said, some kids develop empathy early, and some develop it late (some studies have shown that the receptors in the brain that control empathy often don't mature fully until adulthood). I'm not necessarily trying to blame the parents, since I obviously don't know them. He could just be really late developing it, or he could just be that way despite the parent's best efforts. You can teach a kid to be gentle with animals, but you can't really teach them empathy, only model it and encourage it's development. We got a kitten last year when my daughter was 2 1/2. She was terrible to the kitten at first. We had to be there on top of her literally every second. But we pointed out to her the signs that the kitten was not happy, talked about why he might not like something, etc. Luckily, that kitten still adores her to this day. They spend every morning curled up together on the couch while she wakes up. She is fantastic with animals now and is really good at looking for signs that the animal is upset. I don't know if I could say she's developed empathy, but she is at least aware that others have signs they're not happy. She's only 3 1/2, and you know, I have left her alone for brief times with a chick. It's not something I would do on purpose or for long lengths of time, and not with a day old who she could hurt by accident very easily, but with a 3 or 6 or 9 week old chick? I've done it. Mostly if I've had to run after our one year old or to run to the fridge to grab the meal worms, not like I would get a chick out and then go take a bath or something. But I would be shocked if she purposely dropped a chick a couple of feet, let alone throwing it up in the air.

Anyway, all that to say, I don't think this can be blamed on "boys will be boys". I know some pretty compassionate and gentle boys and men, and I know some pretty unempathetic little girls (and women). I don't have a six year old, but I would think if my 3 year old knows that throwing an animal is not okay, a 6 year old should know it too. Do you know, did he seem to feel bad? And I mean, genuinely feel bad, not just for show because he thought he was supposed to. If he seemed to genuinely feel bad about it, I personally probably would have him back, but with very very careful supervision and teach him how to properly handle and care for the birds. Maybe his "punishment" could even be coming over to help you care for them (scoop out the litter, change the feed, etc) while you talk about how they grow, their feathers coming in, etc. Might do him some good. If he just thought it was funny and didn't seem bothered by the incident at all, I would think twice about having him back though.

Anyway, my opinion may not be wildly popular.

I'm definitely of the opinion that more and harsher punishments don't do our kids any good. But I thought I'd throw my two cents in here. I'm glad your chick is okay. I used to work at a vet clinic, and though I don't know much about chicks specifically, I would say if she's eating and drinking as normal, and doesn't seem to be in any pain when picked up, keep an eye on her poop for blood but she's probably fine.

 

[SourRoses]

*Sigh* Oh I dont want to turn this thread into something between us when its about this nice ladies problem.
But.. you are getting totally confused... a "boy", in my mind, means "a young male" and a "male" means a grown up of the male gender. The same way, when I said "women" that denotes to me, a female who is grown, versus a "girl" who would be young. Thus I was not speaking of me as a child, but of others who were grown, and obviously he wasn't getting engaged to a grown woman before he was an adult himself. When I said that maturing changes "many"... obviously I was leaving out a percentage of the population, and yes, that would include my brother. When referring to how he behaved as a child, I was talking about towards animals, and only after that did I mention when he was grown and his behaviour towards "women".
If you read this carefully and compare, you can see that my story has never changed, but perhaps due to my wording, which I now apologize for, you mis-understood me.
If you were simply disagreeing with me, that would be absolutely fine and I never would have replied a second time, because that is the point of a forum, to gather different opinions.

 

[HHandbasket]

Quote:
How sad and unfortunate for this child.

Unfortunately, I think people in general don't teach their children reverence for life and for animals as they once did. At the age of 6, that child knew exactly what he was doing and what the consequences would be. Apparently, however, because "he's only 6", everybody assumes he was just being a little kid and poor little guy didn't know what he's doing ... I say BULLARKY. He DID know what he was doing because as the poster said, 2 minutes earlier, the child was holding it in his hands and rocking it gently indicating that he had awareness that the chick needed to be treated with gentleness.

I agree that a discussion with the child's parents is in order. Probably not best to suggest to the mother she have her child psychologically evaluated, but children that do things like what that child did definitely need to be evaluated for underlying issues. The minute an authority figure's back was turned, the child turned mean-spirited--those are the kids that develop into bullies, and nobody puts them in check when they're little because they're "only 6".

The parents are going to be insane by the time this child is 15 if they don't get him in check now (I love parents that wait until they're 12 before trying to implement boundaries... yeah, you can't give a child free reign and then suddenly impose boundaries when they hit puberty and start acting up... it totally backfires & parents are sitting there scratching their heads wondering what happened...)

Edited for typos.

 

[WhySayWhat]

My child or not...that little boy would have gotten a spanking he'd never forget! And then I'd tell his parent's why, while he was there still sobbing from the punishment.

Of course, if it had been me, I would have let my child get sick outside in the grass too.

It's easier to clean up than everything between outside and the batroom, lol.

 

[mlove]

Poor chick, I'm so sorry. I have 2 sons ages 6 and 8 years old. They have been raised around small animals and would never treat an animal like that. Even at a very young age they were both extremely gentle. Two years ago my sons had a play date with a long time friend. That brat had been mean to my dogs in the past so I never let him near out pets again. Well he snuck outside, opened the chicken coop and started chasing chickens trying to kick my tiny seramas.

Not surprising we have been busy every time they have asked to come over since that time.

 

[nurseshelly]

Quote:
I'm so sorry about your chick!!! I hope it will be okay. I would also feel it's keel bone and make sure it's not broken. I think eating and drinking is a good sign. I bet it will be okay, baby birds fall out of trees and are usually fine as long as they don't have head injuries (obvious swelling to head is usually there). In my area there are feral lovebirds, and my friend hand fed 35 of them that had fallen out of a huge palm tree when it was trimmed. She rescued a total of 70, but had to split them with someone for handfeeding because many were needing fed every two hours. If a lovebird baby (days old) can survive that (many of them), I would guess a chick would be okay too. My friend did have two with head injuries and her vet talked her through draining the swelling, figuring that it would die without it so might as well try. One did live

My friend was so mad because the person that owned the house (and paid for the trimming) where the tree was wouldn't let them come into the backyard to rescue the babies that had fallen on the other side of the fence.

So a bunch died that could have been saved.

I have a 6 1/2 year old who is really good for the most part. He will do flying lessons, but that just is where he is holding the chick and he drops his hand a few inches to make them flap - we have to explain to him that it scares them, and would he like it if someone did it to him? Now his best friend in the neighborhood (who is a girl btw) is a totally different matter - no impulse control at ALL. She loves animals, but has none, and is not allowed around ours without supervision. I supervise my son too, but would be comfortable running in the house to get the phone or something with him, he has good sense 99% of the time. Anyway, his friend has a hard time not chasing the animals which makes them all hate her, and makes me send them straight to my son's room to play with door open so I can see what is gong on. We are actually considering not letting them play together any more after the third time she has tried to swing from the ceiling fan chain (can't be used now partially pulled out of anchor in ceiling), she's climbed out of her own window onto the roof without her parents noticing - I had to call them when my son came running home to tell me she was on the roof! Yesterday she threw rocks and broke her sliding glass patio door (where are the parents?), she climbs trees, almost falls over the wall to their next door neighbors house, and is allowed to ride her bike all over the neighborhood. Her parents don't even know where she is, they call me frantic because they can't find her 4 hours after she goes riding her bike. I'm afraid something will happen to my son at their house because of lack of supervision. Anyway, I could totally see her throwing a chick as high as she could because she would think it was funny. She thinks lots of things are funny that are not.

Michele

 

[chknmomma]

Chicky is still acting like a normal chick today but looking for blood in the stool is not something that occurred to me. I will keep an eye out for that.

I certainly did not mean to start a boys will be boys discussion. I am a mom to 3 girls, if I were raising boys, I would raise them just the same as I am now. I strongly believe we were given only girls to help bring understanding to both our hearts (mine to show how much girls break their parent's hearts! and for my husband to understand ALOT!) However, I was not a 6yo boy at one time nor do I have ANY experience with them!! So I honestly have no idea what is the norm.

The boy in question is our next door neighbor. The relationship between families was already strained at best. With the kids playing together outside all the time and in class all day together, I was trying to make an effort yesterday and have an actual play-date. The boy showed no remorse when I freaked out about chicky. He even tried to go back into our garage after I took them away. I know for a fact that he is being raised in a very strict family where compassion to others is stressed in almost every situation as well as other strong moral values. The point being there that when given the opportunity to rebel against our teachings, some will??? I have no idea but will change our behavior and available play times accordingly. Unfortunately the long summer days await us.

Thankfully we plan to move next summer into a place with no neighbors and more room for chickens.

Here is a picture of said chick. This was a few days ago.