Okay, this was really funny. LOL.

[Fierlin1182]

And you know what? This one is totally true. The multiculturalism at JFK in the early hours of the morning is enough to have me on the floor.

NY Ctr: "Federal Express 235, descend, maintain three one zero, expect lower in ten miles."
FedEx 235: "Okay, outta three five for three one oh, FedEx two thirty-five."
NY Ctr: "Delta fahv twuntee, climb one ninah zeruh, dat'll be finah..."
Delta 520: "Uhh... up to one niner zero, Delta five twenty."
NY Ctr: "Al-italia wonna sixxa, you slowa to two-a-fifty, please."
Alitalia 16: "HEY! You makea funna Alitalia?!"
NY Ctr: "Oh, no! I make-a funna Delta anna FedEx!"

 

[Fierlin1182]

ATC: Pan Am 1, descend to 3,000 ft on QNH 1019.
Pan AM 1: Could you give that to me in inches?
ATC: Pan Am 1, descend to 36,000 inches on QNH 1019

Pilot with Southern drawl: Birdseed Approach, Barnburner 123 with ya at seven thousand, with Information -- excuse the expression - Yankee.

NY Approach: Jet Blue 3021 slow to 200

Jet Blue 3021: Slowing to 200 Jet Blue 3021

NY Approach: American 1123 Cleared for the Visual Approach for Runway 31 Tower is on 123.9, good night

American 1123: Cleared for the visual 31 into JFK Tower on 123.9, American 1123 good night

NY Approach: United 2130 turn right to 200

United 2130: Right to 200 United 2130

NY Approach: Piper N31Y descend and maintain 3,000

Piper N31Y: Down to 3,000, 31Yankee

NY Approach: American 2034 turn right heading 220 decend and maintain 4,000

American 2034: Left to 220 and down to 4 American 2034

Jet Blue 3021: Flight Attendants Please prepare for landing

NY Approach: Roger

American 2034: Wilco

United 2130: Will do

Piper N31Y: Copy (laughter in the cockpit)

NY Approach: Jet Blue 3021 you are cleared for the Visual Approach Runway 31 contact JFK tower on 123.9 good night

Jet Blue 3021: cleared for the visual runway 31 approach tower on
123.9 good night (very timidly)

AWW that's so cute! Sounds exactly like the JFK I know.

I have a bone to pick though. 31 what?! 31L or 31R?
I'm assuming this is 31L because of the tower frequency, but who the hell lands on 31L?! That's the one they use for take offs!

 

[Zinnia-Hen]

ray's two cents :

ATC: Pan Am 1, descend to 3,000 ft on QNH 1019.
Pan AM 1: Could you give that to me in inches?
ATC: Pan Am 1, descend to 36,000 inches on QNH 1019

Pilot with Southern drawl: Birdseed Approach, Barnburner 123 with ya at seven thousand, with Information -- excuse the expression - Yankee.

NY Approach: Jet Blue 3021 slow to 200

Jet Blue 3021: Slowing to 200 Jet Blue 3021

NY Approach: American 1123 Cleared for the Visual Approach for Runway 31 Tower is on 123.9, good night

American 1123: Cleared for the visual 31 into JFK Tower on 123.9, American 1123 good night

NY Approach: United 2130 turn right to 200

United 2130: Right to 200 United 2130

NY Approach: Piper N31Y descend and maintain 3,000

Piper N31Y: Down to 3,000, 31Yankee

NY Approach: American 2034 turn right heading 220 decend and maintain 4,000

American 2034: Left to 220 and down to 4 American 2034

Jet Blue 3021: Flight Attendants Please prepare for landing

NY Approach: Roger

American 2034: Wilco

United 2130: Will do

Piper N31Y: Copy (laughter in the cockpit)

NY Approach: Jet Blue 3021 you are cleared for the Visual Approach Runway 31 contact JFK tower on 123.9 good night

Jet Blue 3021: cleared for the visual runway 31 approach tower on
123.9 good night (very timidly)

AWW that's so cute! Sounds exactly like the JFK I know.

I have a bone to pick though. 31 what?! 31L or 31R?
I'm assuming this is 31L because of the tower frequency, but who the hell lands on 31L?! That's the one they use for take offs!

Kinda reminds me of a picture I saw god knows where, of this plane taxiing before takeoff and another plane landing head first towards it.

I don't know whether it was real or not...​

 

[Fierlin1182]

Oh cripes, how terrifying.

They sure do runway changes at Sydney fast enough to warrant it.

The wind is wacky over there.

 

[Fierlin1182]

*wails* Nobody finds them funny!
I've just got to say, the one about cancel IFR...

....Holy crap. I'm still recovering from my laughing stitch.

 

[JD4570]

Ray I just read it and almost peed on myself!!!!!!!Holy crap that's funny!!!

 

[Zinnia-Hen]

ray's two cents :

*wails* Nobody finds them funny!
I've just got to say, the one about cancel IFR...

....Holy crap. I'm still recovering from my laughing stitch.

You kidding? I thought they were pretty good, actually.

 

[Symphony]

ray's two cents :

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room retorted, "Yeah, right."

I don't get,

 

[eenie114]

ray's two cents :

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room retorted, "Yeah, right."

HA!!

That's great.

Symphony, the student's "yeah, right," were two words that on their own would both be positives. But you put them together and they make something sarcastic, and in this case, a negative.