Opinions wanted

[blue fire]

I am almost 20 years old and attending a community college. Tommorow I am going to visit someone and see if their place is a nice home for my chickens... I need to find them a new home because I sadly have not been caring for them as much as they deserve and I my have to find a new home myself. My mother is a recovering alcholic and the past year with her has been really stressfull and my brother is autistic and often yells at me and stresses me out at times. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and see a doctor every 3 weeks about this and am on medication for this as well. I do not have a job and am having a hard time finding one in the medium sized town I live in. I hate college and have always hated school for some reason and never really was good at it, but everyone is always pushing for me to have a college degree, but I want to drop it... my grades are horrible and I do not really care about college. I met someone over the internet who is now my boyfriend and I visit him once a week since he lives 45 min away from me, and he has offered me that I can stay at his house since I am so stressed out here at times. I love him very much and he says he loves me. there are more job oppertunitys where he lives and even a college there and I want to move there soooo much, but I dont know if it is the right thing.... right now I am living off my parents health insurance and because of the pills I have to take, it would be expensive if I had to pay for pills with out it. It is just really complicated. I guess I just wanted to vent, but I kinda want to know what you guys think since I am stuck at this point.

 

[PineappleMama]

How long have you known this guy? I KNOW personally of several internet started relationships that worked out great, and we've all heard on the news about the others... could go either way, I have no idea... but how long you've known him might help. Moving in together is a pretty big step no matter how you met you know?

As to your meds, every three weeks sounds pretty odd to me unless they're having to check your levels all the time?? Or if they're switching your meds over and over to find one that works... but then it usually takes 2-3 weeks MINIMUM to get a good idea of what a med can do for you anyways so I hope that isn't what they're doing.

As to costs of meds... try looking over on http://medicationfinder.walmart.com/mapd/MedicationFinder.jsp it may be that you can get your script for less... other stores also have inexpensive programs too... worth a gander. Most have a list that you can look at and/or print. If your med isn't on the list then take the list to your doc and see if maybe one of the ones that IS on there would work for you. If your doc thinks it's a good choice then it could save you some money... MUCH better than you not being able to afford a refill and thus having no meds at all!

As to costs of visits... ask your doc what they'd charge you if you aren't on insurance anymore for the visits... if they're just talking to you and refilling a script they MIGHT be willing to charge a small fee instead of a big one... but if they're doing bloodwork I don't know. But it's worth asking. If they cannot afford to offer you a low price visit fee then ask them if they can refer you to a local clinic who CAN handle your medical issues safely and inexpensively.

I don't know what to tell you about the school thing. At the least it would be great if you could manage an Associates Degree... but if you're failing the classes there's not a lot of point in continuing.... you'll have to analyze that one.

Work wise... part is going to depend on your school decision... but I'd keep hunting. On the off chance later down the road things don't work out with your fella then you'll appreciate having funds of your own... and if things do work out fabulous then if you marry, try buying a house, etc then the income and time at the job will help.

 

[oldchickenlady]

From experience I have to say...get an education! Nobody can take that away from you. Ever. Job opportunities are almost ALWAYS better with a college education. You'll never have to depend on a man to take care of you (and future children if you have them). I graduated high school in a time when it was still fairly common for a girl to get married, have children, maybe work, but the husband was the primary breadwinner in the family. My grandmother (who was abandoned with 2 young children during the Depresson by her husband) always told me "Get your education! Even if you never need it, it won't be wasted! Men can die, men can leave, and sometimes they get sick and you have to support them!" So...even though you hate school, stick with it! Make a commitment to YOURSELF! Do whatever it takes to graduate! If you hate what your doing, then do research or speak to a counselor and find something you like, enjoy, and can support you! Then make the freaking commitment to STUDY! And study some more! Find study partners, get extra tutoring, WHATEVER IT TAKES! YOU ARE WORTH IT! I got an associates degree in laboratory science then married and had 3 kids. At one time I worked almost full time at one hospital, worked part time at an ambulance company doing their billing, etc. had twin boys and another boy, and went back to school for my bachelors degree so I could get paid more for doing the SAME JOB!
So don't tell me you can't do it! If you have mental/emotional issues that require medication that is all the more reason to get a good job! You can't live off your parents forever. JUST DO IT!

 

[silkieroo]

Stay in school... Find someone else to stay with if you must but please stay in school! It will be SOOO much easier for you to get a job if you have a college degree! If you move in with your BF it could turn out great or it could be a living h%#@ for you... How long have you been seeing him?

 

[Cindiloohoo]

Quote:
Under your circumstances, and I have been there...put college ON HOLD(meaning promise YOURSELF to go back and finish when life is less crazy) and get a job and out of that environment you are living in. Likely outside that environment you won't need as many meds, because of less depression/anxiety triggers, so don't worry too much about that. The guy....I'd give it some time. You COULD be jumping out of the frying pan into the fire. If he loves you like he says, then he will love you enough to want to marry you provided he can't have his cake and eat it too...just sayin

If a move is necessary, and considering what I personally know of Murfreesboro...it may or may not be, establish yourself first with a local job in retail or fast food chain so that you may be able to transfer to another location without the stress of finding a new job once you get there. This is not going to happen overnight, but having a plan, and goals in your mind, will ease anxiety of the entire process. The main thing is to set some goals for yourself at this point. Don't jump into anything quickly. Plan out on paper how you want the next 6 months of your life to go and carry a copy of it with you, when you have an issue, take that paper out and look at where you want to be, and ask yourself if whatever will help you meet your goal, or get in the way. Keep your focus on what YOU want, not what others want for you. Your almost 20, be a bit selfish while you don't have a kid and a spouse to worry about. Things will work out. Everybody goes through the valleys before they reach the mountaintop to enjoy the sunset

 

[blue fire]

I have known the BF at LEAST... 3 months... he seems like he really cares... he talks to me every night.... drives quite a ways to see me each week... he tells me he loves me all the time and he makes me happier than I have been in a long time... I have never really been this comfortable with another person before... thanx for the opinions so far.... I see a therapist every 3 weeks not really a doctor

 

[Boyd]

I met my wife over the internet. She stopped out to the house for our first date (and I cooked her dinner)... 7-8 years later she's never left. Worked for me, but everyone is different. First and foremost though, you need to get your life into order.. however you need to do it. It will put both your mind and depression to rest.

 

[crazy goose lover]

With the new healthcare reform you can remain on your parents insurance until you turn 26. You do not have to live with them to be on their insurance. Of course they have to be willing to keep you on it which they may not be if you move out.