Overheard conversations

[KristyHall]

Some of the funniest things I have ever heard were conversations of other people. Sometimes , when you are only hearing parts of the conversation it makes for an even funnier quote.

Once I was in wal-mart and I heard two teenage girls talking.

Girl 1: "What are you going to do, lie??"

Girl 2: "mom always told me that it is only ok to lie if it will save someone's life and if I tell her I broke it she'll kill me"

One of my favorite conversations was one between a couple of friends of mine, both are two grown men.

Friend 1: "WHY DO SPIDERS LIKE ME?!"

Friend 2: "Because you don't eat your vegetables"

Friend 1: "ooohhhhh so that's why they exist"

Friend 2: " Yes, it's all your fault"

what conversations have you or someone you know overheard?

 

[Theeggboxtoo]

Quote:

 

[EmtheFishLady]

Friend 1: Those brownies don't have nuts in them...I don't like nuts.
Friend 2: I like nuts, and I'm bigger than you.

 

[awesomefowl]

 

[sunny & the 5 egg layers]

Haha!

 

[AquaEyes]

I was at work (I'm a waiter at a fine-dining restaurant) and was taking care of three ladies in their 50's, celebrating the birthday of one of them. This was their first time there. After a couple glasses of wine each, and having eaten their dinners and dessert, the "birthday girl" started opening presents. At one point, I walked out to offer more coffee, and one of the other two was mid-conversation. This is what I heard:

"Yes, she's an artist, and makes wonderful paintings. But she's not the usual kind of painter. She takes the paint and spreads it on her breasts, and uses them to paint on the canvas."

This was accompanied by hand gestures over the aforementioned area of the speaker.

I paused, and said "more coffee?"

"Yes, I'd love some."

And she continued her conversation as though I wasn't there.

 

[Iheartchicks<3:)]

Quote:

i have never seen you before!

and btw,, thats SO funny.

 

[Chickengal505]

 

[Imp]

Woman on a cellphone:

Mom, Randy's in the ER.
Randy's eye fell out of his head.
No I'm not joking. It fell out of his head.
No mom he was just rubbing his eye and it just fell out.
It was hanging on his cheek by a cord.
I called 911, mom I'm really not joking.
I googled it, it happens all the time.
Yes his eye just fell out of his head.

It went on for a good 3-4 minutes.

Imp

 

[sunny & the 5 egg layers]

Quote:
That's disturbing...
How could it just like fall out?!

Poor Randy.