Owwww, who else has done this?

[chickensducks&agoose]

Quote:
I have NO idea what you just said... but it sounded painful.

 

[Southernbelle]

Quote:
But he IS trying to kill you, just read this:

https://www.backyardchickens.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=168688

 

[gritsar]

All the time! That is, until I got smart and taught the dogs to put their bones in the toy basket each night.

 

[Southernbelle]

mom'sfolly :

kid yak in the middle of the night-check....

All the kids have gotten DH at one point, but never me (aside from infant spit-up.)

I'm a really sound sleeper, but when a kid crawls in our bed at night, at that first little urp sound, I'm up and out of the line of fire in 0.003 seconds. DH only wakes up after he's been splattered. The best messes occur from a toddler thowing up with a pacifier in his mouth - that goes everywhere.

 

[kathyinmo]

I laugher so hard I had tears, at these stories here: http://www.fatcatpatterns.com/Family%20Dirt.html

Here is one:


BK, (before kids) I was a dog groomer and worked in a nifty little shop called the Animal House. Jon and I lived in a studio apartment and had two cats Willie Bugger and Zeke. Willie Bugger was your typical lovable housecat. Zeke was a monster. He was a one person cat, and lucky for me I was that one person. He was my baby. Zeke was a Maine Coon cross, he stood 15 inches tall at the shoulder and weighed 24 pounds. He was attitude zipped into a black and white fur coat

So, one day at work our Fritz sales rep comes in and he is pushing his latest and greatest products. Which just so happened to be a potty trainer for your cat! Cool beans! It looked simple enough and was surely worth a shot, right? The basic idea was to take this plastic tray and set it under the toilet lid. The first few days it has kitty litter in it, and each day you add less litter. Pretty soon you have no litter and a small hole cut into the center, the final step is to remove the tray. If all goes well you have a cat trained to squat onto the toilet rim and do his business into the potty. Um, it didn’t go too well at my house. Willie did alright. Zeke big lug that he was, would make the tray buckle each time he jumped up onto it. Which in turn would fling kitty litter skyward! So we chalked that up to a lesson learned and went on with life. Or so we thought. We soon found out that Zeke DID learn something from the potty trainer. He learned that it was fun to poop on porcelain.

So here is the scenario we had. Jon had to be up for work earlier than I did, so he would get first shower. The first time this happened I laughed until I cried. Jon shuffles off into the bathroom, turns on the shower and lets the water run to warm up while he brushes his teeth. I hear the shower curtain open up, then slide shut – then an earth shattering bellow erupts from the bathroom! “SINDY! There is !@#$! Cat !@#$ in the bath tub!” What do you do other than laugh? At least the first time. Okay, so I laughed the second time. Wouldn’t you? I mean come on, if you found yourself standing in kitty poo poo while showering, wouldn’t you at least LOOK before you got in the next day? This went on for the entire week. Jon would get up, go into the bathroom, get into the shower and scream bloody murder. Friday night he decides he will shut the bathroom door when we go to sleep. That should keep Zeke out of the shower. Um yes, and locked away from the litter box. That morning Jon woke up, sat on the side of the bed and looked over at me. He says “Today I will take a shower without !@#$.” He slips his feet into his house shoes - - - right into - - - you guessed it, kitty poo poo. You cannot imagine the words that were echoing around the bedroom as he hopped to the bathroom to clean himself off. Me? Oh, I am still in bed, laughing. Saturday night Jon decides to lock Zeke into the cat carrier for the night. Zeke decides to howl and caterwaul all night long. Sunday Jon goes to Home Depot and buys a sliding glass shower door. It takes him all day to install it, and oh is he proud of himself when he is done. I have to admit it looked nice, frosted glass and chrome. Jon announces that he has “Beat that cat.” All is well with the world.
Monday morning. Jon wakes up. Jon walks into the bathroom and starts the shower, brushes his teeth – then starts to yell. “!@#$ CAT!”

Oh I can’t laugh – it has reached beyond that point. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing as Jon rants about the cat. HOW did he get inside the shower? The Obvious explanation is that I must not have shut the shower door. That night Jon gets out of bed not twice, but three times to check and make sure the shower door was shut. Next morning, yep you guessed it. And the next. And the one after that. Jon was going crazy trying to figure out how Zeke was getting into the shower, and I have to admit I was getting tired of cleaning up after their battle of wills. Friday evening rolls around. Keep in mind poor Jon has now stepped in cat poop every morning for two weeks. He decides he is going to stay awake ALL night and discover how Zeke is getting into the shower. Not me, I have work in the morning. I go to sleep and leave the two of them to taunt each other all night if they feel like it. At some point I might have dreamed Jon dancing around the bedroom gloating, “Ha! I’ve got you now you !@#$ cat!” At least now years later, Jon claims I was dreaming. The next day when I come home from work Jon explains to me that he caught Zeke standing on his hind legs scratching the shower door until it vibrated open. Um, okay. Now what? Jon had already taken care of now what. He hauled me upstairs to check out the new Zeke proof shower door. LOL! Our shower door had a patio door lock installed on it! I have to give Jon credit, it did the trick. Zeke was never able to open the shower on his own again, but heaven help you if you forgot to lock it. We lived in that apartment for four years, then moved into the house here. The shower door with its lock moved with us. Whenever we would have company over the inevitable question would arise. “Hey Rodenmayer, why the hell is there a lock on your shower door?” Jon would look at me, then to the person who asked, “Just don’t ever let your wife try to toilet train the cat.”

 

[Tala]

we raw feed, but they will leave parts of bones if they are too hard to chew up.......so yes my poor heel has come into contact with the sharp remainders of bones a few times before. We used to have a rug with a lot of tan color in it, and the bone chunks would camouflage in there....
All the more reason to always feed them in their crates lol

 

[craftymama86]

Quote:
Oh my gosh that was hilarious, lol. My hubby probably would have just gotten rid of the cat, lol.

Anyone ever step on jean zippers? Talk about pain.

I had to stop reading these posts last night, I was laughing so hard I was keeping my hubby up, lol. It was pretty bad, I'm already out of my mind at night so to read those posts made me look like this....

Lol.

 

[WoodlandWoman]

Well, nothing helps when it's a gooey mess in the dark. I did learn to shuffle in the dark on my way to the light switch to avoid all the hard objects, though!

Ah, just one of the joys of living with a pack of dogs...

 

[silkiechicken]

Well, this thread made me feel better about licking the top of a yogurt container and putting a cm long slice into the tip of my tongue. Blood dripping from mouth is somewhat unsettling.

 

[craftymama86]

I don't like walking around outside in the dark. We live on the outside of town so it's nice and dark, unless there's a full moon, and we don't have many outside lights. Anyways, I went to check on the chickens last night and i about walked into a lawn chair that had been blown around from strong winds. It's kind of a dark green so I didn't see it till I was right at it, lol. I've stepped on and walked into different things my kids leave out in the yard.