, , it's all I want to do is cry...for some dumb reason beyond my control I started to have terrible panics attacks just out of the blue around last July. I couldn't sleep, stop crying, or stop worrying about everything..just all of a sudden. Never in my life have a experienced a sense of being scared (over nothing) I literally felt like I had lost a loved one, and was scared to be alone, I lost 15 lbs in a week and a half, I literally hated to eat . Anyway doc said it's okay, you are doing too much..slow down, let others help you, you cannot do everything yourself . So she gave me some meds, with a couple of weeks of rest and lots of love & prayers from DH, DS, church, and family ( my DH and DS take great care of me and will drop everything just to hold me when I cry I am very blessed to have them ) I was better and quit taking my meds after about three months. Ever now and then I get the blues nothing out of the ordinary we all do sometimes. I'm usually on the go, lots to do, yes I can lend a hand, have this, have that to do, and taking care of the house and family ect. I know exactly what to do, I'm usually the one lending a hand helping others, sending up prayers, telling others to lean on the Lord and trust in Him everything WILL be okay, It is just a trying time things will get better. So panic attacks throw me for a loop bad, I am currently begining to have them again.. grant it they are not as bad I guess because I know what to expect but my brain gets so boggled I wonder if I'm doing everything right (yes..I tend to be a perfectionist ) I hate it so bad, I feel like such a burden to my family over these dumb things. I have full faith in the Lord and my DH tells me He's still workin' on me, and He is just letting me know to slow down and not do so much, that He of course is in control, I know God is in control and He is with me, under my normal self I don't worry much at all, I know I have no control over any outcome, I give it to God. But when I hear of things such as the swine flu or something going around I do worry .. I try to do everything possible to protect my family...I feel very overwhelmed and confused, the thought of making a decision makes my stomach turn and I get scared ( I usually have no problem making decisions). I will probably sell my flock and not put out a bigger garden as I wanted to, I don't want to....but I feel like I need to lessen my load. will y'all please say a prayer for me...and for my cousins 13 yo DS she is waiting on test results of his lympthnodes, and even though I may sell my flock I am still visiting you great folks here.