Quote:
parenting is impossible. Im at the end of a rapidly fraying rope.
- Thread starter mrsruvi
- Start date
Quote:
In addition to applause for tantrums, I also used to get the camera, telling my kids that I wanted to take a picture of them like that to send to their grandparents so they could see the red angry faces.
In addition to applause for tantrums, I also used to get the camera, telling my kids that I wanted to take a picture of them like that to send to their grandparents so they could see the red angry faces.
to the original poster:
Kids will suck the life out of you. You need to take a break. You owe it to yourself. Mama takes care of everyone in the family, but no one looks out for mama. You have to do it yourself. Do you have a friend who could watch the kids one afternoon? Even if you just wander around Walmart with a dazed expression on your face, it's worth it.
Take care of your health. And like another poster said, ignore the in-laws. In-laws are crazy and you have to ignore their crazy and at the same time use them to help you with your kids.
Good luck. I'm right with ya girl. Parenting is no joke.
Kids will suck the life out of you. You need to take a break. You owe it to yourself. Mama takes care of everyone in the family, but no one looks out for mama. You have to do it yourself. Do you have a friend who could watch the kids one afternoon? Even if you just wander around Walmart with a dazed expression on your face, it's worth it.
Take care of your health. And like another poster said, ignore the in-laws. In-laws are crazy and you have to ignore their crazy and at the same time use them to help you with your kids.
Good luck. I'm right with ya girl. Parenting is no joke.
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Find something to do for yourself away from the kids, sewing, painting, billiards, golf, anything.
I know you said that you try and eat healthy, us too.
But I would check those popcycles, juice drinks, ice cream, candy and everything for Red #40,
High Fructose Corn Syrup and other little things that could set off kids.
Make sure that the hubby isn't setting you up for moody kids when he heads off to work.
Just a thought.
I know you said that you try and eat healthy, us too.
But I would check those popcycles, juice drinks, ice cream, candy and everything for Red #40,
High Fructose Corn Syrup and other little things that could set off kids.
Make sure that the hubby isn't setting you up for moody kids when he heads off to work.
Just a thought.
Parenting is impossible, thats why they make us women so strong!
I have a DS3 and a DS2months. I understand completely! Altho my 3 year old doesn't throw himself down and have fits, never has..he does like to tell me No! If I hear that, he gets one more chance to change his answer, and if not he goes on time out. Boy, he hates time out. He cries like i'm murdering him I swear. Comes off time out and doesn't dare say no to me now! Hes never said he doesn't love me, or loves daddy more or anything. He is a total Daddy's boy and likes hanging out with daddy more, which I don't mind. Daddy is a good role model for him
Try time outs. She may be on time out for 90% of the first day, but it will lessen. If she won't sit in a time out, strap her in a time out. Carseat in a corner, high chair. Everytime she throws herself down, put her on timeout and walk away. I don't take DS off timeout until hes done with his crying. I find that he cries for all of 30 seconds and hes done now. That or I warn him and he stops crying. We started him real young tho.
We still have some problems, like he gets upset when we come inside before hes ready. Can I blame him? And he also hates water over the head, no matter which way I do it. So I do his hair first so the crying part (he freaks out about the water in his eyes...hes a wuss lol!) and then that gives him time to leave the bath on a happy note. I've never had a problem with putting him down for bed, I think I lucked out on that part.
3 is a hard year...Our son was perfect through 2 years old, but 3 is hard. And we just started!! I often wonder where my little angel went, but I know he'll be back...when hes 20
Hang in there!!
Oh, and I am also a HUGE advocate for putting the kids with someone else and date night with your hubby!!! Also, on your days off, have you hubby do what you do everyday and vice versa. That way they know not only mamas give baths, bedtime, dinner and not only daddys do fun stuff!
I have a DS3 and a DS2months. I understand completely! Altho my 3 year old doesn't throw himself down and have fits, never has..he does like to tell me No! If I hear that, he gets one more chance to change his answer, and if not he goes on time out. Boy, he hates time out. He cries like i'm murdering him I swear. Comes off time out and doesn't dare say no to me now! Hes never said he doesn't love me, or loves daddy more or anything. He is a total Daddy's boy and likes hanging out with daddy more, which I don't mind. Daddy is a good role model for him
Try time outs. She may be on time out for 90% of the first day, but it will lessen. If she won't sit in a time out, strap her in a time out. Carseat in a corner, high chair. Everytime she throws herself down, put her on timeout and walk away. I don't take DS off timeout until hes done with his crying. I find that he cries for all of 30 seconds and hes done now. That or I warn him and he stops crying. We started him real young tho.
We still have some problems, like he gets upset when we come inside before hes ready. Can I blame him? And he also hates water over the head, no matter which way I do it. So I do his hair first so the crying part (he freaks out about the water in his eyes...hes a wuss lol!) and then that gives him time to leave the bath on a happy note. I've never had a problem with putting him down for bed, I think I lucked out on that part.
3 is a hard year...Our son was perfect through 2 years old, but 3 is hard. And we just started!! I often wonder where my little angel went, but I know he'll be back...when hes 20
- May 8, 2008
- 2,446
- 15
- 201
Tantrum- walk away. My daughter had ONE tantrum. it was when she was three.
We were at a mall walking around. She wanted something. I told her no. She threw herself on the ground kicking and screaming. I kept walking. Went no more than 6 feet from her when she realized I wasnt standing over her. She stopped and came running up to me. Never happened again. She is going on 9 years old now.
Back talk- I have never laid a hand on her. She has made a comment here and there. When I catch her. And I do catch her. I just raise an eyebrow at her and say "What did you just say to me?" She crumbles into "I am sorry" crying and sobbing.
I think she has back talked me 4 times total. Never to her father.
Not eating what I cook. Fine. Starve. when she was younger it was worse. But now. If we are eating something she doesnt want. ie meat. She makes herself something. In all honesty she has been doing that for years now. She works the microwave, toaster oven and reg oven. Self feeding.
Not doing what you tell them. I have never treated her like a "kid" per say. I tell her what I expect. In plain words. No baby talk. She does it. simple. I also tend to ask her. Not tell her. unless it is something big and potentially dangerous.
Ya know. "Stay with me. ""Come with me. " that stuff.
For bath time and hair washing it was "Can you put your head back. " or "close your eyes. the soap can hurt if ya dont"
Give a reason for what you are asking or tellign them. If they dont.. theye learn when it hurts their eyes.
Last weekend we were at the pet store in the bird room. A guy came in that set off my mom warning bells. (he really creeped me out) I walked towards the door and told her to come with me. She really didnt want to, since we had just gotten there and she was talking to a parrot she likes.
But she came along with me. when we were out of the room we went to look at toys for our parakeets and the creepy guy followed us. This was athe back of the store and a corner. I again told her to come with me and we walked quickly from the store. She wasnt pleased. but didnt question me. So I took the time when we were outside to stop and explain that the man had made me uncomfortable. She said "ok" and that was that.
Potty training.- Sure diapers suck. I didnt bother really potty training her. But I was a WAHM til she was in first grade. DH is now a WAHD
yes, we are very lucky.
When she was 4 she trained herself. In one day.
I told her that her friends were all potty trained( I lied, they were not. most of her playmates were a lot younger than her at the time) We got home and she went, put on her big girl undies and that was that.
She has "chores" She gathers the eggs, feeds the animals. She occasionally does the dishes without our asking. That started when she wanted her Barbie's to have a pool party in January. There were dishes in the sink. I wasnt home to clean them and her dad was in the office working. So she cleaned them and put them in the drying rack. Now she just radomly does them.
I dont think kids are evil. I also dont agree that "kids will be kids" or "boys will be boys" etc
I treat her like I expect her to behave. Is working for us.
We were at a mall walking around. She wanted something. I told her no. She threw herself on the ground kicking and screaming. I kept walking. Went no more than 6 feet from her when she realized I wasnt standing over her. She stopped and came running up to me. Never happened again. She is going on 9 years old now.
Back talk- I have never laid a hand on her. She has made a comment here and there. When I catch her. And I do catch her. I just raise an eyebrow at her and say "What did you just say to me?" She crumbles into "I am sorry" crying and sobbing.
I think she has back talked me 4 times total. Never to her father.
Not eating what I cook. Fine. Starve. when she was younger it was worse. But now. If we are eating something she doesnt want. ie meat. She makes herself something. In all honesty she has been doing that for years now. She works the microwave, toaster oven and reg oven. Self feeding.
Not doing what you tell them. I have never treated her like a "kid" per say. I tell her what I expect. In plain words. No baby talk. She does it. simple. I also tend to ask her. Not tell her. unless it is something big and potentially dangerous.
Ya know. "Stay with me. ""Come with me. " that stuff.
For bath time and hair washing it was "Can you put your head back. " or "close your eyes. the soap can hurt if ya dont"
Give a reason for what you are asking or tellign them. If they dont.. theye learn when it hurts their eyes.
Last weekend we were at the pet store in the bird room. A guy came in that set off my mom warning bells. (he really creeped me out) I walked towards the door and told her to come with me. She really didnt want to, since we had just gotten there and she was talking to a parrot she likes.
Potty training.- Sure diapers suck. I didnt bother really potty training her. But I was a WAHM til she was in first grade. DH is now a WAHD
When she was 4 she trained herself. In one day.
I told her that her friends were all potty trained( I lied, they were not. most of her playmates were a lot younger than her at the time) We got home and she went, put on her big girl undies and that was that.
She has "chores" She gathers the eggs, feeds the animals. She occasionally does the dishes without our asking. That started when she wanted her Barbie's to have a pool party in January. There were dishes in the sink. I wasnt home to clean them and her dad was in the office working. So she cleaned them and put them in the drying rack. Now she just radomly does them.
I dont think kids are evil. I also dont agree that "kids will be kids" or "boys will be boys" etc
I treat her like I expect her to behave. Is working for us.
- May 8, 2008
- 2,446
- 15
- 201
Quote:
In addition to applause for tantrums, I also used to get the camera, telling my kids that I wanted to take a picture of them like that to send to their grandparents so they could see the red angry faces.
LOVE IT!
In addition to applause for tantrums, I also used to get the camera, telling my kids that I wanted to take a picture of them like that to send to their grandparents so they could see the red angry faces.
LOVE IT!
Rhett&SarahsMom :
Quote:
In addition to applause for tantrums, I also used to get the camera, telling my kids that I wanted to take a picture of them like that to send to their grandparents so they could see the red angry faces.
LOVE IT!
Quote:
In addition to applause for tantrums, I also used to get the camera, telling my kids that I wanted to take a picture of them like that to send to their grandparents so they could see the red angry faces.
LOVE IT!
x2! My son was quite the over reactor when he was little and the tinyest bump or fall he screamed like he was dying! ....one day instead of picking him up I started saying "Oh NO! look what you did! now there is a hole in my floor" while peering closely at the floor. He stopped immediately and tried to see the hole as well
Rhett&SarahsMom :
Tantrum- walk away. My daughter had ONE tantrum. it was when she was three.
We were at a mall walking around. She wanted something. I told her no. She threw herself on the ground kicking and screaming. I kept walking. Went no more than 6 feet from her when she realized I wasnt standing over her. She stopped and came running up to me. Never happened again. She is going on 9 years old now.
Back talk- I have never laid a hand on her. She has made a comment here and there. When I catch her. And I do catch her. I just raise an eyebrow at her and say "What did you just say to me?" She crumbles into "I am sorry" crying and sobbing.
I think she has back talked me 4 times total. Never to her father.
Not eating what I cook. Fine. Starve. when she was younger it was worse. But now. If we are eating something she doesnt want. ie meat. She makes herself something. In all honesty she has been doing that for years now. She works the microwave, toaster oven and reg oven. Self feeding.
Not doing what you tell them. I have never treated her like a "kid" per say. I tell her what I expect. In plain words. No baby talk. She does it. simple. I also tend to ask her. Not tell her. unless it is something big and potentially dangerous.
Ya know. "Stay with me. ""Come with me. " that stuff.
For bath time and hair washing it was "Can you put your head back. " or "close your eyes. the soap can hurt if ya dont"
Give a reason for what you are asking or tellign them. If they dont.. theye learn when it hurts their eyes.
Last weekend we were at the pet store in the bird room. A guy came in that set off my mom warning bells. (he really creeped me out) I walked towards the door and told her to come with me. She really didnt want to, since we had just gotten there and she was talking to a parrot she likes.
But she came along with me. when we were out of the room we went to look at toys for our parakeets and the creepy guy followed us. This was athe back of the store and a corner. I again told her to come with me and we walked quickly from the store. She wasnt pleased. but didnt question me. So I took the time when we were outside to stop and explain that the man had made me uncomfortable. She said "ok" and that was that.
Potty training.- Sure diapers suck. I didnt bother really potty training her. But I was a WAHM til she was in first grade. DH is now a WAHD
yes, we are very lucky.
When she was 4 she trained herself. In one day.
I told her that her friends were all potty trained( I lied, they were not. most of her playmates were a lot younger than her at the time) We got home and she went, put on her big girl undies and that was that.
She has "chores" She gathers the eggs, feeds the animals. She occasionally does the dishes without our asking. That started when she wanted her Barbie's to have a pool party in January. There were dishes in the sink. I wasnt home to clean them and her dad was in the office working. So she cleaned them and put them in the drying rack. Now she just radomly does them.
I dont think kids are evil. I also dont agree that "kids will be kids" or "boys will be boys" etc
I treat her like I expect her to behave. Is working for us.
It sounds like you raised your kids much like I raised mine. Establish clear expections and follow through with consequences if those expectation are not met and your child will do well. I have 2 daughters (18 and 15 y/o) and neither have ever talked back to me or any other authority figure. Teachers have always been very pleased with their behavior in school. They have well rounded personalities and have recently informed me that I have not "damaged" them (too much
) by enforcing rules.
Tantrum- walk away. My daughter had ONE tantrum. it was when she was three.
We were at a mall walking around. She wanted something. I told her no. She threw herself on the ground kicking and screaming. I kept walking. Went no more than 6 feet from her when she realized I wasnt standing over her. She stopped and came running up to me. Never happened again. She is going on 9 years old now.
Back talk- I have never laid a hand on her. She has made a comment here and there. When I catch her. And I do catch her. I just raise an eyebrow at her and say "What did you just say to me?" She crumbles into "I am sorry" crying and sobbing.
I think she has back talked me 4 times total. Never to her father.
Not eating what I cook. Fine. Starve. when she was younger it was worse. But now. If we are eating something she doesnt want. ie meat. She makes herself something. In all honesty she has been doing that for years now. She works the microwave, toaster oven and reg oven. Self feeding.
Not doing what you tell them. I have never treated her like a "kid" per say. I tell her what I expect. In plain words. No baby talk. She does it. simple. I also tend to ask her. Not tell her. unless it is something big and potentially dangerous.
Ya know. "Stay with me. ""Come with me. " that stuff.
For bath time and hair washing it was "Can you put your head back. " or "close your eyes. the soap can hurt if ya dont"
Give a reason for what you are asking or tellign them. If they dont.. theye learn when it hurts their eyes.
Last weekend we were at the pet store in the bird room. A guy came in that set off my mom warning bells. (he really creeped me out) I walked towards the door and told her to come with me. She really didnt want to, since we had just gotten there and she was talking to a parrot she likes.
Potty training.- Sure diapers suck. I didnt bother really potty training her. But I was a WAHM til she was in first grade. DH is now a WAHD
When she was 4 she trained herself. In one day.
I told her that her friends were all potty trained( I lied, they were not. most of her playmates were a lot younger than her at the time) We got home and she went, put on her big girl undies and that was that.
She has "chores" She gathers the eggs, feeds the animals. She occasionally does the dishes without our asking. That started when she wanted her Barbie's to have a pool party in January. There were dishes in the sink. I wasnt home to clean them and her dad was in the office working. So she cleaned them and put them in the drying rack. Now she just radomly does them.
I dont think kids are evil. I also dont agree that "kids will be kids" or "boys will be boys" etc
I treat her like I expect her to behave. Is working for us.
It sounds like you raised your kids much like I raised mine. Establish clear expections and follow through with consequences if those expectation are not met and your child will do well. I have 2 daughters (18 and 15 y/o) and neither have ever talked back to me or any other authority figure. Teachers have always been very pleased with their behavior in school. They have well rounded personalities and have recently informed me that I have not "damaged" them (too much
- May 24, 2011
- 138
- 6
- 129
I have a 20 month old and the no, no, no tantrums are a joy!
I swore I would never let daddy become the fun one, so I try to make it a point to ditch the chores and do something fun with them too.
Give yourself 20 minutes and go on a backyard adventure hike or get an ice cream cone. You will feel great when daddy gets home and you can all report on the FUN thing you did together. Maybe picnic out with dinner or something!!
Make them realize that mommy can be fun too. Generally, I ignore the bad behavior and my daughter gets bored of doing it. When she was little and started hitting out of frustration we tried to correct her, but now she only does it for attention. If I ignore her she will say "hitting mommy" to get me to notice. I continue to ignore and she then pats my arm and says "nice" or "listen to mommy" cause she knows I tell her how good that is.
Good luck. Dont be afraid to compete for the fun parent role. It doesnt hurt anyone as long as you dont compromise the basics to do it. You will be AMAZED at how good it will make you feel!
I swore I would never let daddy become the fun one, so I try to make it a point to ditch the chores and do something fun with them too.
Give yourself 20 minutes and go on a backyard adventure hike or get an ice cream cone. You will feel great when daddy gets home and you can all report on the FUN thing you did together. Maybe picnic out with dinner or something!!
Make them realize that mommy can be fun too. Generally, I ignore the bad behavior and my daughter gets bored of doing it. When she was little and started hitting out of frustration we tried to correct her, but now she only does it for attention. If I ignore her she will say "hitting mommy" to get me to notice. I continue to ignore and she then pats my arm and says "nice" or "listen to mommy" cause she knows I tell her how good that is.
Good luck. Dont be afraid to compete for the fun parent role. It doesnt hurt anyone as long as you dont compromise the basics to do it. You will be AMAZED at how good it will make you feel!
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