Parents that like to "tag along" on dates... :(

[SourRoses]

Sorry... no sympathy here.

My mom would say, "Lifes a B, and then you die!" and I woud agree on this.

When I have children, they won't be dating until they are 16, then with chaperones... yep. Only 24, and I made that decision a while back. Why? You'll understand when you have a couple more years on you.

I say, be real polite to your mom and thank your stars that she goes out of her way to see that you get to date at all, by going with you.
If you are not that far away from 18, another year just is NOT going to kill you... and 12 months is not "forever"

Chances are exceedingly good that this boy won't be the one you marry... so there isen't going to be anything for you to later regret NOT doing.

 

[awesomefowl]

I agree with you, Squishy!

I think people make too much of a fuss about dating young these days. Of course, everyone's different, but I don't think it's bad to have a chaperon if you are young.
Your mom sounds like she can be really annoying though.

My mom still calls me bunnyhead in public! She does it to annoy me though. :lol

I don't really have any good advice though, as I've never dated, and am not planning on it for at least five years or so. But good luck with whatever you choose to do!

 

[dainerra]

Quote:
Not odd to me! My daughter is 16, doesn't really date though. She goes on lots of group things, mostly with the band. There are a couple chaperones around, but you know that they aren't watching the kids closely. She is a level-headed girl and is very open about the "boy problems" her friends have. She is a bit disdainful of what she calls their "obsession" and thinks that it is better to just have many guy friends than to hang up on one guy.

I don't think that you can keep kids on a short leash. How do they ever learn to live without it if you do? That is part of being a parent, the hardest part. Realizing that you need to start stepping back and letting go. That's not to say you just turn kids loose and hope for the best. Start when they are young and teach them right from wrong. Let them learn to take care of themselves. That is the purpose of being a parent, strong confident adults ready and capable of living their own lives.

 

[Moochie]

I didn't need sympathy.

No he probably won't be the one I will end up being married with but a first boyfriend is special to me, especially since he's one of my bestfriends already. I have the rest of my life to look forward too and with possible signifigant others I don't want my mom tagging along on dates. What I mean by tagging along is - Not just chaperoning us, but listening in on our conversations and being on me like a baby koala. We're teenagers eventually he or I is going to come up with a funny perv joke and she isn't going to catch on and will probably jump to conclusions about it. Or one of us is going to slip (accidental cussing) and my mom will jump to conclusions on that too. When my dad slips a sailor's word my mom looks at me with this face like >:S I usually say other words, such as boulderdash and dangnabbit, but if I step on a tack I will most likely say something else.
These types of things I don't like. These are some of the reasons I don't want my mom tagging along.

She also listened in on a phone call before.

I was talking to another guy (who I guess liked me) and something went funny with the phone. I didn't think anything of it until my dad told me the next day. "kiddo did you know your mom was on the phone too?" -_- ... Almost as bad as when she got rid of my bed when I was 7 without even asking me to get rid of it first.

Edited to say: The phone call she listened in on, me and the guy were talking and laughing about teachers. Then ranting about bad teachers, talking about socks, pencils, and weird things he ate when he was a kid. This was 2 years ago. I asked her about it too. "mom dad told me you listened to us talking, why?" "i just wanna check on you" "so you listened in on the whole call?" she didn't say anything after that.

 

[quintinp]

Quote:

You hit the nail right on the head.

 

[babylady4]

This sounds like it is more cultural than anything else.

Please try to sit down and have a one-on-one with your mom. No raised voices, just talk and hear her side of things. Ask to be treated like an adult and let her tell you her concerns. Let her know yours. Try to see if you can reach a diplomatic compromise. Would group dating be an option? Would she agree to you staying within her line of sight? Have her come along with a friend? Just tossing out possibilities for you, I doubt that you will get total freedom so I would just see what she will agree to. Be respectful of the cultural differences as well. You might also let her in on your feelings; how she has violated your trust in her by eavesdropping on phone calls or making decisions that affect you without consulting with you first. Perhaps bring your dad in on this discussion as well, maybe he can help.

I have a 16 yr old DD so I know your mom's position. I have also raised my daughter to be well aware of her surroundings, given her basic self defense, and she does not date right now by her own choice (she has watched her friends with their boyfriends and has decided she does not need the added drama). I TRUST her judgement and allow her to make her own mistakes. She often asks me for advice when dealing with problems she has or what her friends are going through. I would never go through her things or listen in on phone conversations unless I thought she was doing something illegal. She has boundries as well, and I need to know the answers to the basic Who What Where When questions and to call or text if she is changing locations. I have also read her friends the riot act about their driving when she is in the car with them; they better mind their P's and Q's or there will be a quick call to the local Barney....

If you raise your kids right and you trust their judgement there is no need to act as their jailer unless they prove otherwise.

Good luck Moochie and hang in there.

 

[babylady4]

Quote:
Did you call this boy's parents and let them know what he did to your daughter?????? If that happened to MY kid that 'boy' would be scared $h!tless from ME, let alone his parents..... then of course her Dad and all of the Uncles who would just be dying to give this punk a lesson in manners and how to properly treat a young lady.