Parents who have full access to their kid's Facebook account?

[EmtheFishLady]

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Here's a fact...on any given day I'm propositioned at least once. On multiple sites. I've even had it happen on BYC. Creeps are everywhere. There doesn't need to be a statistic on it. It's just a fact. They're out there.

I've been propositioned before as well, but only once or twice, on dating websites.

I have heard you're a loopy one Em, but just where are you trekking around on the internet?

I visit here, Facebook, and a few other sites. I don't do dating sites, and nothing extreme or odd or anything to do with such...things. I've even gotten random instant messages with interesting context on them. It's just a fact of the internet.

 

[suzettex5]

I gotta say, the whole - 'Bedroom door astays open ALL the time rule" kinda baffles me. I dont feel strongly about the issue either way, I just dont get it, probably because Ive never had an issue that needed me to have such a rule. I mean, WHAT can they be doing that they couldnt be doing behind a closed bathroom door? (they DO get to close that door, right?) Ive alwyas felt that if a child REALLY wants to do something, they will find a way- door or no door. Some privacy is ok with me, but the minute the kid thinks they call the shots or have the God-given RIGHT to something, well, thats when I start changing the rules.

I have yet to find anything illicit in any of my childrens or step-childrens rooms that was innappropriate. Any time they have been in the room with the door closed they were reading or talking on the house phone (which I could just pick up and listen in on if I had wanted to, and they knew I would if I was suspicious). I just dont see WHAT they could be doing? Sniffing glue? Doing drugs? Molesting themselves? Seriously, what? I would catch them if they were doing drugs since they all know I do a full room sweep with no notice, and that includes closets (and before you scream what a privacy invasion that is, I do the room cleaning in my house, AND I have raised 3 kids already and NEVER had any problems with them and I attribute that to my being super involved and them knowing I care enough to always do proper, respectful investigation, and in the end, its MY house, I paid for EVERYTHING in it and I WILL go into ANY room in MY house and do whatever I feel like, but I WILL respect your privacy as much as possible, DONT give me reason to do a full CSI on your butt!).

If the kids are doing something in their room with the door shut that is wrong or horrible, its only because they think they can get away with it. Which sounds to me like the parents arent as involved as they should be. But I am not saying that is true in EVERY case for every kid. Either way, the kids have to respect the adults rules, like it or not.


In the end, the proof will be in the pudding as to whether being super involved or more relaxed will produce better people.

 

[Matthew3590]

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10 bucks said his views on the internet were much like yours. That he had passwords to everything and constantly checked their facebook.

Also do you guys teach your kids what not to go to and the signs of creeps? I have been using the internet for 8 years now and have never had some creep try to talk to me. Plus my parents never monitored my internet usage to the best of my knowledge. But they talked to me as an adult since I was 5 years old.

 

[ChickenAlgebra]

My kids can ASK to have their door shut if only they are in the room, no tv. I trust them enough for that. I do not trust their friends, no matter the kids company manners. I saw what goes wrong, I went to the funerals. I do not wish to do so again.

 

[Matthew3590]

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Funerals? What were they doing?

 

[Nimby Chickens]

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Funerals? What were they doing?

That's my question too! Were they playing a game of 'stab your friends' with the door closed? I mean seriously... what were they doing and how did a closed door become the catalyst?

I dunno, I just think a lot of people confuse 'privacy' with 'hiding'.

 

[Nimby Chickens]

Quote:
I've been propositioned before as well, but only once or twice, on dating websites.

I have heard you're a loopy one Em, but just where are you trekking around on the internet?

I visit here, Facebook, and a few other sites. I don't do dating sites, and nothing extreme or odd or anything to do with such...things. I've even gotten random instant messages with interesting context on them. It's just a fact of the internet.

I understand what you mean, but there are SO many factors here. Are they sending you these messages knowing that you are an adult, female, single/married/pregnant/whatever, or are they blindly fishing? Just because they message you doesn't mean they would message a kid.

The times I have been propositioned were not even by people I would call 'creeps'. I was on a dating website, they sent messages. They were to the point, politely asked a simple question, and I gave them a simple answer. There was no stalking or weirdness, they just said goodbye and I never heard from them again. They messaged me because I had a profile and I'm pretty attractive, not to toot my own horn but there you go. I am confident they would not have messaged me if I was a child.

It IS beyond sick to be sexually interested in children. This is pretty much universally agreed-upon. The world IS dangerous and creeps are out there for sure. The point I am trying to make is that it is sensationalized and not as widespread as you would think. You have to analyze these facts and decide what is right for you and your family. It is just risk analysis and what you are comfortable with. Do you never let your teen drive the car, use the toaster, play football? All these carry risks, we just decide how much to take vs. the payoff and we do it from a place of reason and logic, even though we hear every day that some kid wrapped his parents car around a tree, someone burned their house down when they left the toaster on, or the kid here in FL who died during football practice.

 

[Dar]

Quote:
10 bucks said his views on the internet were much like yours. That he had passwords to everything and constantly checked their facebook.

Also do you guys teach your kids what not to go to and the signs of creeps? I have been using the internet for 8 years now and have never had some creep try to talk to me. Plus my parents never monitored my internet usage to the best of my knowledge. But they talked to me as an adult since I was 5 years old.

actually its usually the opposite mommy and daddy dont give a rats hinney what their kids do on the internet and they have daddy or mommy issues and do things that put themselves in danger...

Oh and FYI.. there is a difference between teaching safe internet habits and creating fear. and I have seen MANY things on even BYC that if I had seen my kid post I would be all onve them like white on rice...

DAILY I am reporting children because they have posted themselves for sale basically on Kijiji (canada's version of craigslist) so somewhere there is lessons about safe internet NOT being taught

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Here's a fact...on any given day I'm propositioned at least once. On multiple sites. I've even had it happen on BYC. Creeps are everywhere. There doesn't need to be a statistic on it. It's just a fact. They're out there.

I've been propositioned before as well, but only once or twice, on dating websites.

I have heard you're a loopy one Em, but just where are you trekking around on the internet?

I understand what you mean, but there are SO many factors here. Are they sending you these messages knowing that you are an adult, female, single/married/pregnant/whatever, or are they blindly fishing? Just because they message you doesn't mean they would message a kid.

The times I have been propositioned were not even by people I would call 'creeps'. I was on a dating website, they sent messages. They were to the point, politely asked a simple question, and I gave them a simple answer. There was no stalking or weirdness, they just said goodbye and I never heard from them again. They messaged me because I had a profile and I'm pretty attractive, not to toot my own horn but there you go. I am confident they would not have messaged me if I was a child.

It IS beyond sick to be sexually interested in children. This is pretty much universally agreed-upon. The world IS dangerous and creeps are out there for sure. The point I am trying to make is that it is sensationalized and not as widespread as you would think. You have to analyze these facts and decide what is right for you and your family. It is just risk analysis and what you are comfortable with. Do you never let your teen drive the car, use the toaster, play football? All these carry risks, we just decide how much to take vs. the payoff and we do it from a place of reason and logic, even though we hear every day that some kid wrapped his parents car around a tree, someone burned their house down when they left the toaster on, or the kid here in FL who died during football practice.

OOh dear, it IS as widespead as we think. See i work with sex offenders, yep.... there sure are LOTS of them, just in MY small area.
Just because its not happend to you, does not mean its not out there and close by too. If you only knew ...
And for SHAME on the parents that dont monitor their kids internet interactions.
Anyways, this isnt JUST about sexual predators here... its simply about being a good, INVOLVED parent.

 

[ChickenAlgebra]

Which funeral would you like to know about? OD, drunk driving, murder, suicide, alcohol overdose, late night speeding on wet roads, AIDS. So I make sure I know what my kids are doing. So I don't have to bury them.