Parents who have full access to their kid's Facebook account?

[Chickangel79]

Quote:
What do you think? I pay for your phone, it is mine, i simple allow you to acess it for your personal use. At anytime I am free to pick it up and glance thru it's contents.

X 2.

Plus, I, being the somewhat mature and reasonable adult, get a Smartphone. DH gets the Smartphone - well, he has two actually, one for work, one for home. My kids who have earned the right to have a cell phone get the world's most boring plan and phone EVER. They can make calls. They can play two preloaded games.

There is no internet on their phones. There is no texting on their phones. There is no camera on their phones.

You want to use the internet, there is a computer right there in the family room. You want to talk to your friend, call them.

I also have the horribly unfair rule that bedroom doors are NOT shut unless you are changing clothes or sleeping. You break that rule, you lose the door.

I'm this mean when the kids are being well mannered and trustworthy. You do not want to see how mean I can be when they've thrown that trust away, then stomped on it. You want a social life? Have fun being social with the chickens.

Are you planning to bring up socially repressed children that are so messed up they will be the next mass murderer in a high school ????

 

[saddina]

Quote:
X 2.

Plus, I, being the somewhat mature and reasonable adult, get a Smartphone. DH gets the Smartphone - well, he has two actually, one for work, one for home. My kids who have earned the right to have a cell phone get the world's most boring plan and phone EVER. They can make calls. They can play two preloaded games.

There is no internet on their phones. There is no texting on their phones. There is no camera on their phones.

You want to use the internet, there is a computer right there in the family room. You want to talk to your friend, call them.

I also have the horribly unfair rule that bedroom doors are NOT shut unless you are changing clothes or sleeping. You break that rule, you lose the door.

I'm this mean when the kids are being well mannered and trustworthy. You do not want to see how mean I can be when they've thrown that trust away, then stomped on it. You want a social life? Have fun being social with the chickens.

Are you planning to bring up socially repressed children that are so messed up they will be the next mass murderer in a high school ????

I'm not sure how it is playing out in the UK, but in america, there have been quite a few cases of teens sending X rated pics to each other. The problem is recieving these photos, even if unasked is child pornography, and there have been prosececutions. It often goes girl A sends Boy B a topless pic, sometimes the boys forwards it on to his friends, she gets teased all the adutls find out about this 3 months later. Or girl A sends same pic, boy b tells her he's not interested, she then gets him in trouble by saying he "made her". To ignore this trend that can result in a police record for a minor is somewhat foolish. Are my kids backward? nope. But they and all of thier friends know I can check.

 

[HHandbasket]

Quote:
If there had been such a thing as Facebook when my boys were living at home, they would not have been allowed to have a FB account if I didn't have access to it.

Cyber-bullying (both on the giving and receiving end), online sexual predators, and other things that put a young person at risk are all over Facebook, and any reasonable, responsible parent WOULD want to have access to that.

I understand a teenager/young person wanting and needing some privacy, and there are areas in your life where you SHOULD be allowed to have that, especially if you have demonstrated good, responsible behavior and have earned it. However, the online community is not the place to have your privacy. Keep a diary or private journal instead. But online life is NOT something you should not want your parents involved in. It's just too risky.

If I caught my kid online with a "secret account" he didn't tell me about, that would be the end of his computer privileges. PERIOD.

 

[Dar]

Quote:
If you were my child and i caught you making extra FB accts so i couldnt watch what you were doing. You would NOT have access to the internet again in my house. Period.
If you act like a sneak, i'll treat you like you deserve to be treated.
You wouldnt want to live with me..

can I get a heck yeah?..

my son is 14 and does not have FB or internet access unless its for school purposes... no need for it... whats there to do online?..play games?.. get out there and do yard chores... talk to your friends?.. there is a telephone in the living room for that.

 

[Chickangel79]

Quote:
Are you planning to bring up socially repressed children that are so messed up they will be the next mass murderer in a high school ????

I'm not sure how it is playing out in the UK, but in america, there have been quite a few cases of teens sending X rated pics to each other. The problem is recieving these photos, even if unasked is child pornography, and there have been prosececutions. It often goes girl A sends Boy B a topless pic, sometimes the boys forwards it on to his friends, she gets teased all the adutls find out about this 3 months later. Or girl A sends same pic, boy b tells her he's not interested, she then gets him in trouble by saying he "made her". To ignore this trend that can result in a police record for a minor is somewhat foolish. Are my kids backward? nope. But they and all of thier friends know I can check.

Fair play, not heard much about this to be honest, but I have just had a word with DD lol, and asked if I can have access to any phone or password when asked. The answer was yeah sure. Which is good, implying she has nothing hide.

 

[sonew123]

Quote:
I'm not sure how it is playing out in the UK, but in america, there have been quite a few cases of teens sending X rated pics to each other. The problem is recieving these photos, even if unasked is child pornography, and there have been prosececutions. It often goes girl A sends Boy B a topless pic, sometimes the boys forwards it on to his friends, she gets teased all the adutls find out about this 3 months later. Or girl A sends same pic, boy b tells her he's not interested, she then gets him in trouble by saying he "made her". To ignore this trend that can result in a police record for a minor is somewhat foolish. Are my kids backward? nope. But they and all of thier friends know I can check.

Fair play, not heard much about this to be honest, but I have just had a word with DD lol, and asked if I can have access to any phone or password when asked. The answer was yeah sure. Which is good, implying she has nothing hide.

As a parent of two teen girls ( and please don't take this the wrong way) but not a chance I would "ask" my children if I could have acess... I have acess or you get nothing! Its that simple-I pay the bills they belong to me until you move out and pay for them yourself..just saying

 

[effie]

Yard full o' rocks :

My children (both boys BTW) are 12 and 16. NEITHER has, nor will they have a Facebook page or any other Social Media. Too many weird things are said, done, misconstrued, misunderstood, etc via the "written word". Just look at the trouble "public officials" have gotten into recently

They both have cell phones and can call/text anyone they like, individually.

I am afraid that this generation of children is already going to be "tested" since they DON'T KNOW HOW TO TALK TO EACH OTHER. I often wonder how they will function in "real life" when they have to; interview, attend and participate in meetings, make business proposals, etc, etc

Just my opinion....

AMEN!!! couldn't have said it better-I read on my FB one day something that a teenager wrote-"we text each other hundreds of times a day but when we meet-AWKWARD!" They have no converstion skills anymore and they alienate themselves with their phones even in a filled room-I am not a texter and for the most part I watch it turn people into very rude human beings. Not always and I can see where it has it's advantages--but to say it is abused is putting it mildly. We don't have cell service where we live(thank god)because I have friends with teens that never see them-come home from school and go straight to their rooms and don't come back out except to eat. My husband and I have raised 5-none of them had cell phones in school but the last one and only then because we moved 30 minutes from town and he needed it for sports and calling me to tell me when the bus would be back from a game. As far as internet there wasn't FB when the older 4 were home. The youngest got it and I am on his friends list-I see no reason to have his password unless something pops up suspicious. And believe me if they are doing things they shouldn't one of their friends will let it slip up on FB and you will know-then you can address it. I have a friend with a 13 old daughter and she is blocked from her page-no way would I allow that-they have to have me as a friend-I am not gonna creep on their page and comment all the time but I do want to see what is going on. Her daughter and a friend post pics that are not in good taste (in their underwear with dollar bills hangin out of their panties). May sound innnocent but there are pervs out there just going crazy over that kind of stuff. These girls have no idea what they are doing-it's justfun to take lots of pics of each other and post them--this is where PARENTING comes in!!!!! our 4 sons are all military and FB can be a great thing to keep in touch and I love mine for that. Technology can be a wonderful tool and it can be a means of missuse. It is all about parenting and what we allow. It is our house and I don't care if you are over 18-if you live here under our roof and we pay the bills then there WILL be rules.....​

 

[Chickangel79]

Quote:
Fair play, not heard much about this to be honest, but I have just had a word with DD lol, and asked if I can have access to any phone or password when asked. The answer was yeah sure. Which is good, implying she has nothing hide.

As a prent of two teen girls ( and please don't take this the wrong way) but not a chance I would "ask" my children if I could have acess... I have acess or you get nothing! Its that simple-I pay the bills they belong to me until you move out and pay for them yourself..just saying

YOur house, your rules

We do have security on all pcs and they are timed to turn off at 8pm too

 

[ChickenAlgebra]

My socially repressed children have friends and plenty of them. Getting the teenaged girl off the phone for dinner somedays is a joke. They also have numerous high powered weapons in the house. If they were going to be trouble, they could manage it without much work.

But they do not feel the need to cause trouble or commit criminal acts. Because somewhere in there, instead of letting them have all of what they want, they've grown up, started turning into adults, do stupid kid things (like lick a lit sparkler

) and such.

They just don't get to hide their life from DH and me. I know if they have a bad day, I know if they have a sudden hate of a class mate, I know what they are going to be doing.

They don't lie to DH and I because they know it's not worth the punishment. My 18 y/o at 15 felt the insane need to spend the night at a friend, tell me that's all they were doing, but they snuck out and went to see the last showing of some R rated movie, then went home. Really, all in all, fairly minor. But well, oops, a family friend saw that. All the sudden my 15 y/o lost ANYTHING he wanted to do until the next school year started. 2 months of school and all of summer he got to do zip. Wanted to go out with friends, nope, sorry, I can't trust that you'll do what you say you are doing. Want to play on the computer, nope, sorry, I can't trust that you'll not do something you shouldn't do. Wanted to get his hours in so he could get a license, nope because I can't trust you enough with a car at 16 to let you practice.

DH and I got told on a regular, hourly basis for the first month that he hated us. Then a daily basis for the next month. It was a very long summer.

And he did eventually get some free time back, and he learned a very hard lesson to not lie about what you are doing because we WILL find out and if they are in that much trouble for something fairly minor, they don't want to find out what happens if it's worse. We won't kill them, but we can sure make their lives miserable.

My kids were always the only ones in school saying they'd rather get a spanking than be grounded.

 

[Buugette]

I have a 15 year old son and 12 year old daughter. I have access to everything... cell phone, texts, facebook, laptops... everything. I'm not saying that I am on them everyday... but when I ask to see their laptops, they hand them over. I can pick up my son's phone at any time and go through the text messages, his contacts, etc.

My main concern... my children's safety. I would be an inept parent if I didn't monitor activities. I do not hover constantly, I do not monitor every call, text, post... I, from time to time, browse... just to make sure everything looks okay. I trust my kids, but that does not mean that I will live in an oblivious world where I have no clue what they are doing.

The rule in my house... no secrets. I can go into their rooms at any time and put clothes away, use their computer, straighten their closet, look under their beds. No secrets. In turn, they have free access to my room. There is nothing in my room that my kids couldn't see. There are no locks on our inside doors. Anything dangerous is locked in the safe.

My daughter keeps a journal. She has showed it to me, I know where she keeps it... do I read it? No, only when she brings it to me to look at something in particular or read one of her poems or stories. Will I read it if I feel something is wrong? In a heartbeat.

I will not be one of those parents that knows nothing about their kids. I will never forget the interview with the parents of the kids involved in the Columbine High School massacre. They had no clue... no clue that their son had an arsenal under his bed.

I understand that if there is a will, the kids will find a way. My hope is that with open communication, no secrets, and full give and take... my children will always feel secure enough to come to one of us when they either having a problem, are in trouble, or just simply have questions.

No parent is perfect. We all just do our best to raise our kids... the best way we know how.