Parents who have full access to their kid's Facebook account?

[suzettex5]

One other thought-

Any kid who thinks their parents/guardians shouldnt have access to their FB or any other account would do well to remember- Phones, internet and Ipods are a PRIVILEGE, NOT A RIGHT!!

YOU are LUCKY to have access to those luxury items! NOT everyone has those things, NOT everyone can even afford them, let alone have a chance to abuse them or COMPLAIN about wanting 'privacy' on them.

Please, if you are lucky enough to even have those things- show that you appreciate them by using them without complaining about the peramiters put around them for your safety.

Be grateful- it shows maturity.

 

[ChickenAlgebra]

Quote:
Oh heck no. If my kids are going away for a week, I AM speaking to the adults in charge.

I was a teenager who frequently told the adults who were supposed to be in charge at home that I was doing one thing and did something else. Granted, they didn't notice what I did when I was home, so I can't say anything changed. And I tended to go somewhere that wasn't going to beat/whip/shove me down stairs because I didn't shoot up heroin.

But if I as a teenager left home for a potentially good reason, I'm pretty sure any teenager can think up a million bad reasons.

 

[saddina]

Quote:
So in reality you don't have enough trust in them to not communicate with the people you do not trust.

Not quite. as I pointed out recieving a single innapropotate photo can have legal reprecussions. while I've discussed that digital things stay around forever and my kids have been told not to do such stupid things, they can still be punished for recieving, unrequested, one of these packets of data. Thier friends know I can and will spot-check thier accounts. do I stalk them, no, but if they suddenly start acting odd, I may look to be sure all is well. When a friend og thier says she hates her mother, I don't reply to it, or phone her parents, but next time she's over i'll ask how life's going, and really honestly listen to what she says.

Now I had friends who were a mess as a teen, they did stupid things, but I wasn't involved in that, why? because my mother was strict, and lord help you if you got in trouble.

 

[PaulaSB12]

Quote:
Maybe but a teen should have the right to shut a bedroom door and have some time alone. Why do these who insist on their children not having doors shut do it? Did you have privacy when you where a kid if so why do you insist on denying it to your child.

 

[bullyforme]

Quote:
Oh heck no. If my kids are going away for a week, I AM speaking to the adults in charge.

I was a teenager who frequently told the adults who were supposed to be in charge at home that I was doing one thing and did something else. Granted, they didn't notice what I did when I was home, so I can't say anything changed. And I tended to go somewhere that wasn't going to beat/whip/shove me down stairs because I didn't shoot up heroin.

But if I as a teenager left home for a potentially good reason, I'm pretty sure any teenager can think up a million bad reasons.

Definitely agree here. I wouldn't send my kid away with someone without speaking to the adult first...That's just asking for trouble, even if the kids aren't up to any trouble!

 

[Moochie]

My friend's mother answered all the questions that I asked Liz, well didn't answer them exactly.. She told me to stop bothering "them". I figured "okay I'm not gonna get anywhere on here so I will contact Liz another way" and Liz has no idea what I'm talking about when I texted her. Someone is lying or no one is lying (as in Liz's mom never told Liz), but I don't know

It's not my place to say anything, yet.
I don't hide the screen from my mom when she comes over to check what I am doing. No offense but alot of girls are dummies... Giving away personal information to guys that claim they're teenagers and what not. Shaking my head. Unless you know them personally you should never, ever, tell them anything. It's always "so where do you live? how old are you? blah blah blah".

If my parents checked out my Facebook, just to check it out, I wouldn't mind. If they did something without my permission like play a game which causes annoying requests to come in every 5 minutes, I would be bothered. "Uhm... Can you play that on your own account?"

 

[redhen]

Quote:
X 2.

Plus, I, being the somewhat mature and reasonable adult, get a Smartphone. DH gets the Smartphone - well, he has two actually, one for work, one for home. My kids who have earned the right to have a cell phone get the world's most boring plan and phone EVER. They can make calls. They can play two preloaded games.

There is no internet on their phones. There is no texting on their phones. There is no camera on their phones.

You want to use the internet, there is a computer right there in the family room. You want to talk to your friend, call them.

I also have the horribly unfair rule that bedroom doors are NOT shut unless you are changing clothes or sleeping. You break that rule, you lose the door.

I'm this mean when the kids are being well mannered and trustworthy. You do not want to see how mean I can be when they've thrown that trust away, then stomped on it. You want a social life? Have fun being social with the chickens.

Are you planning to bring up socially repressed children that are so messed up they will be the next mass murderer in a high school ????

Uh.. arent you the one that just said a few pages back that you have an 11 yr old that has a phone that you dont monitor and a FB acct. that you dont even have the password for?? 11 years old... yeah.

 

[Dar]

Quote:
So in reality you don't have enough trust in them to not communicate with the people you do not trust.

I BEG of you to please seek out a local support group for children or parents of children who have been sexually molested or lured through the internet and re think that statement... just sit and listen to the methods used to lure kids.. it will turn your stomach how clever they are

not trying to spark anything dont misunderstand.. there are GROWN 20 - 30 year old professionals lured everyday on the internet from local dating sites. FB and other social chat groups are not much different then a dating site.

It is MY job as parent to make sure my kids are safe and keep them from harm. letting them troll the internet unsupervised is just like dropping them in the pool with 10 million sexual offenders. Not something I would like to risk.

 

[mommyofthreewithchicks]

While I respect the privacy of the children in my house, while they are in my house I am responsible for themselves and their actions. I have had to tightrope through the teenage years with three siblings in laws and 2 were totally fine with how we parented, one was not... For that one I wish I would have monitored a bit closer and had more years on myself to figure out what to do with his actions and thoughts. He really was giving us clues on the Internet and if we had figured that out sooner perhaps he wouldn't have gone so far down hill.

I can tell you with the kids that I am still raising I will do more monitoring and less buddy buddy building. For the teens who keep telling us your privacy is more important than your parents having your back- your parents should trust you when you have earned their trust. Fake accounts, or dummy ones to trick your folks don't give me a warm fuzzy feeling that you are earning the trust. Parents who are not monitoring closely, need to think it though because 80-90% of teens may not need monitoring but that last bit does! It is that one who need to test boundaries and find themselves in deep poo.... And from someone who has had to then wade through the crap to try and save the teen it is much easier if you can try and catch thing early. Would monitoring earlier have saved us from all the headache? Maybe not, but it wouldn't have hurt.

As a parent I am trying to have my child's back, and sometimes that is telling them to look both ways when crossing a road and other times that means looking at their online activities. Not trying to be mean or not to trust them but give them guidance in this mixed up world.

 

[Moochie]

Quote:
Oh heck no. If my kids are going away for a week, I AM speaking to the adults in charge.

I was a teenager who frequently told the adults who were supposed to be in charge at home that I was doing one thing and did something else. Granted, they didn't notice what I did when I was home, so I can't say anything changed. And I tended to go somewhere that wasn't going to beat/whip/shove me down stairs because I didn't shoot up heroin.

But if I as a teenager left home for a potentially good reason, I'm pretty sure any teenager can think up a million bad reasons.

Definitely agree here. I wouldn't send my kid away with someone without speaking to the adult first...That's just asking for trouble, even if the kids aren't up to any trouble!

One time I was at a girl's bday party and they started drinking and getting drunk! I felt uncomfortable so I left but I called the police when I left. They didn't know it was me who called though. Being kids of active duty military fathers and mothers, they got into a heap load of trouble. I felt somewhat bad and I wonder to this day, did I do the right thing?
When I told my parents about it, mom said I did the right thing. Dad was laughing because of how much trouble they would be in.