Parents who have full access to their kid's Facebook account?

[Matthew3590]

Why should I have to go to a library to find out all the parts of the brain when I can just do a quick google search "what are the parts of the brain". Thats like telling me to do logarithms on the ACT drawn out and wasting time instead of me knowing how to do it, but choose not to and do it on my calculator to save me 3 minutes of time that can be spent on other problems.

 

[Chickangel79]

Quote:
It's not that, its the having to have doors open all the time, or it gets removed, and wanting to control your child's lives every second of every day, creating mini me's and not being an individual. Lord help them if they ever expressed a different view from their parents.

When I was a kid I didn't have a door on my bedroom. I turned out fine. My daughter only had her door shut when she was changing clothes and sleeping. The rest of the time the door was open.

Have you ever thought that the kids that like to have their doors shut all the are the ones who will be the next mass murders? Think about it. Kids behind the door on the computer plotting who they want to kill and when. No parental interaction because their son or daughter insists they should be allowed to shut and possible lock their doors.
Or maybe when the parents think their teen is taking a nap in the afternoon because their door is shut and locked; they are really down the road with some not so nice kids smoking dope and drinking.

And that's why you take doors off? You don't trust them? Kids need some of privacy, the only space in our house they have room to do that is in their own room. No tv no computer up there. Unless they are planning how to murder using a harry potter book I think they are quite safe.

 

[desertdarlene]

I think it's fine if parents require their minor children to give them access to their Facebook account as a condition of being allowed to use the site. Or, at the very least, "friend" their child. Parents have to be able to see what their child is up to so the child doesn't get into trouble or get into something that they can't handle. Legally, parents are responsible for everything their minor child does, so they should know what they're doing.

But, that doesn't mean that parents should be hovering around them all the time and control every minute of their day. And, children should be allowed to make their own mistakes, too. But, I do agree with blocking adults from forming romantic relationships with minors because all of the things that could happen to teenage kids these days.

 

[saddina]

Quote:
Bathtub, we went over that the same day he told me "girls make me feel funny". he now takes 2 showers a day, but at least he doesn't stink like teen boy bo.

 

[Chickangel79]

Quote:
It's not that, its the having to have doors open all the time, or it gets removed, and wanting to control your child's lives every second of every day, creating mini me's and not being an individual. Lord help them if they ever expressed a different view from their parents.

Since this is about me and my children, let's see.

I am a sometimes employed, sometimes stay at home parent with little more than an HS education at best. I'm not hyper social, I don't like people all the time.

18 y/o is off at Cornell getting a degree in something that I have no idea on how it works, it's paid for, and he's got employers drooling over him. He's thrilled with this, I look at it and go errm, what? I don't pretend to understand.
17 y/o foster kid is with us because his parents threw him out of the house for being gay. He and DS18 are good friends, I don't give a rats behind about much in life, so he moved in. He's not sure what he wants to do with life yet.
14 y/o wants to be a pressman, and has started that already. She's giggly, goofy, and has a million and one friends.

All 3 worked at times last year and had cars (14 y/o had work/school permit) so they could leave. I can't control them always, nor do I want to. But I do expect that they let me know what they are doing, the same as if I was going to have a late meeting, I would let them know I wouldn't be home until late. I give them that respect, the same is owed to me.

The rest are between 12 and 3 y/o, and exactly what can they do OR should they be doing without a parent being involved?

And before I'm the worst parent ever for making sure I know what my kids are doing, go read LauraJean's thread on witnessing vandalism and her update around post 116. That's unsupervised kids for you.

No, its not about you or your children specifically, its about the door issue, all I am saying is I personally think its wrong to take the doors off and make them leave them open. This is not an attack you per se, everyone does what's best but I just feel taking away so much privacy will cause problems.

 

[greeneggsandham]

Quote:
It's not that, its the having to have doors open all the time, or it gets removed, and wanting to control your child's lives every second of every day, creating mini me's and not being an individual. Lord help them if they ever expressed a different view from their parents.

Since this is about me and my children, let's see.

I am a sometimes employed, sometimes stay at home parent with little more than an HS education at best. I'm not hyper social, I don't like people all the time.

18 y/o is off at Cornell getting a degree in something that I have no idea on how it works, it's paid for, and he's got employers drooling over him. He's thrilled with this, I look at it and go errm, what? I don't pretend to understand.
17 y/o foster kid is with us because his parents threw him out of the house for being gay. He and DS18 are good friends, I don't give a rats behind about much in life, so he moved in. He's not sure what he wants to do with life yet.
14 y/o wants to be a pressman, and has started that already. She's giggly, goofy, and has a million and one friends.

All 3 worked at times last year and had cars (14 y/o had work/school permit) so they could leave. I can't control them always, nor do I want to. But I do expect that they let me know what they are doing, the same as if I was going to have a late meeting, I would let them know I wouldn't be home until late. I give them that respect, the same is owed to me.

The rest are between 12 and 3 y/o, and exactly what can they do OR should they be doing without a parent being involved?

And before I'm the worst parent ever for making sure I know what my kids are doing, go read LauraJean's thread on witnessing vandalism and her update around post 116. That's unsupervised kids for you.

I think your a great parent.

 

[bullyforme]

When I was a kid, I wanted my door shut so I could read uninterrupted, play with my stuffed animals, what ever! My family was loud and sometimes obnoxious (though full of love) and I was a very quiet child. I was most certainly NOT planning a mass murder or drinking booze. I was getting educated - by reading, quietly, in my room with the door shut.

I think I'm witness to some paranoia here. At the very least, I think it so sad anyone would not allow their teenage son (or daughter) some private time in their room with the door shut, that the only thing in their room is clothes and beds! Where are they expected to create their own sense of individuality, by hanging a drawing on the refrigerator door? Or are they being discouraged to ever be individuals?

 

[greeneggsandham]

Quote:
Bathtub, we went over that the same day he told me "girls make me feel funny". he now takes 2 showers a day, but at least he doesn't stink like teen boy bo.

Thankfully I only had a girl.

 

[ChickenAlgebra]

Quote:
Bathtub, we went over that the same day he told me "girls make me feel funny". he now takes 2 showers a day, but at least he doesn't stink like teen boy bo.

Same here. And teen girls can be just as bad.

 

[greeneggsandham]

Quote:
If my daughter wanted quiet time she would go downstairs to the family room or outside on the hammock in the Summertime. I can't tell you how many times I would find her upside down on the sofa in the basement with head on the floor and the book off to one side. Sound asleep.