people with a lot of kids! I have a few questions?????

[HenHaven]

I was just recently introduced to the Flylady program. It is an amazing, upbeat, encouraging site to help women who are feeling overwhelmed--just like you! and me! and I don't have any kids at home, LOL!!!

Since I am still new to it, I am a Flybaby! She leads you through the process in baby steps. The program is designed to motivate, help you get a grip on housework, so you can have valuable time with your children. There is also a major part of it that involves your children directly.

Please check it out: Flylady.net

(((hugs))))

Lynn

 

[JenniferJoIN]

I am the oldest (at 24) of 8 kids. The youngest is 10 (or is he 11 now? Hmm) Until I was 15, we had 7 kids (and our parents) living in a 2 bedroom, ONE BATHROOM house. Most of us slept in the basement in a big room.

I wouldn't trade growing up in a big family for anything. There was always someone to play with, even if you were mad at 2 or 3 of your siblings.

We were expected to help clean up around the house. We didn't have a dishwasher until we moved either... so washing dishes was usually a full time job. We only had one washer and dryer and somehow it kept up.

Our house was never immaculate... my mom used to say that it was lived in.... which is the only way I would want a house!

Now my family lives in a 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom house... and everyone but me lives at home. So there is lots of bedroom sharing... My youngest brother used to sleep in whatever bed was closest when he was little. (He had his own bed, just never used it)

A big family is a lot of work... but worth it! I still don't see how my mom had 8 kids all under 13. I can barely handle 8 chickens at once!

 

[jamiebartlett]

Whew! I can imagine your house is BUUZZY! We have 5 kids in our house right now, all ranging from 7 YO to 18 YO. The only laundry I do, is my husand and mine, towels and anything that accumulates from playing out in the snow, mud, etc. I don't want their other clothes getting ruined with. For the 7 and 8 year old, I put their clothes in the washer. The 8 YO puts it in the dryer, then the 7 yo gets it out of the dryer and brings it to their room. Together, they fold their clothes and put it away. ONce a week I go in there and make sure it's folded and not shoved in there, and if it is - I send them back in there. The 11 and 13 year old, wash, dry, fold and put away their own clothes.

For Dishes: The 11/13 year old each do dishes 3 times a week, they take turns, then have 1 day off. if its not their turn to do dishes, they pick up the family room before going to bed. The 7/8 YO clean the table off and sweep the floor taking turns. When it's not their turn to do the table or sweep, they do garbage.

Every Sunday everyone cleans up their bedrooms! Including us!

Once a month we all go outside and clean up the yard, pick up the toys, garbage, pull weeds etc (more during the summer when the weeds are growing like crazy)

With the kids mainly responsible for dishes, their own laundry, their own room, that leaves me time to do the bathroom, vacuum, care for the animals, take the kids where they need to go, do paperwork, bills, etc while they are in school.

That's the system I've been able to setup and it seems to work. My husband and I both share cooking duties, and he does the bulk of outside work.

Good Luck! Enjoy your large family!

 

[fosterchick]

I have 5 of my own children and a foster child now. I always have at least 6 children, but more at times. I have always felt that is you can handle 3 then you can handle a dozen. It is just another head when it comes to cleaning and feeding. My children all have to clean there rooms and do one chore each day. I have them do dishes, vaccuming, sweeping, feed the animals (with me) and bring the laundry up and down the stairs. Then after that they can earn money by asking and doing some of my chores to help me out. (that hardly ever happens.) So just relax and enjoy them when they are young and everything else will work out.

 

[Chirpy]

You Can Do It!!!

Every one above has given such great advice that I won't really add anymore.

We have eight children (18 yrs. - 3 yrs.), all at home and we 'd love more!! (So would they.)

I highly recommend Flylady - as mentioned.

Also, Meagan Francis just wrote a book called: "Table for Eight: Raising a Large Family in a Small-Family World." A bunch of us larger families helped her with her research. I would recommend you get a copy as I think it has great ideas and helpful hints.

Also, a good website to check out is: largerfamilies.com

If you have specific questions I'd be very happy to try and answer them.


Three little thoughts ...
1) Lower your expectations of how clean/picked-up you want your house to be. Spend the time with your children, let them help (a lot!) with household chores but don't fret over the mess. We have friends whose daughter will never be out of a wheelchair and is completely incapable of doing anything for herself (can't speak, move her hands or legs or head). They would give anything to have her making a mess everyday around the house ... that will never be for them.

2) Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy the time while they are little and everything is chaotic ... it disappears to fast. As I was tripping over Legos on our bedroom floor (the only safe place for my son to make his creations) I told my husband that as much as I'd love to be able to walk without stepping over castles and such, I will truly miss it when he's no longer sitting on our floor playing with them.

3) We use the buddy system: Our older four are assigned a buddy for a week at a time (we change every Monday). They do the majority of taking care of that child for the week. It has developed strong bonds between all the kids and helps me tremendously by freeing up my time to teach (we home school) and do more around the house and outside things with our animals.

 

[flakey chick]

Yes, definately train your kids to start doing laundry (and other chores) early. It will be less to learn when they're on their own. I think being in a large family really helps to teach responsibility and center you. So many students that I teach are the center of their own little Universe.

One more piece of good advice (that may be difficult for some), be willing to accept help from others!

 

[tazcat70]

Wow!!!

Everything will be alright. For the dinner table if you are REALLY worried about it get a bench for one or both sides. Kids bottoms are small and they will all fit. You might even be able to fit in a couple more if you want.

There is alot of fantastic advice on here and I plan on using it myself.

I am about to cry from reading all your posts and I have 2 children. My husband and I have talked about adopting more, but right now we can't do it. Maybe someday soon we can, but for now I plan on enjoying more time spent with the 2 that I do have.

Thank you all,

Tonya

 

[hsm5grls]

OH MY GOSH Chirpy I sooo needed that website....Thank you thank you thank you. I could read on there forever. Such good ideas from people who been there done that.

 

[line-rat]

Hello; I am the oldest of 6 kids. we had a 2 bedroom house. 4 boys in one room (bunkbeds) and 2 girls in the other room.my mom slept on a fold out couch. my dad had left by then. we had 1 bathroom for all of us. Later when my mom remarried. she married agreat man with 5 kids. so that made 11 kids 2 adults and still only one bathroom.
have your kids help out. we did. we complained alot but we still did what needed to be done.

 

[ole-crone]

I only have 4 kids but I have friends with up to 14. As the others have said, don't worry about it - it will just work itself out.

One friend with 10 kids finally just took out the bunk beds from the bedrooms and put down double mattresses since the kids all seemed to enjoy sleeping with each other. I've heard others make the same comment. She also bought one of those bunk beds with the double bed on the bottom and single on top.

A friend with 14 kids (which she homeschooled to boot!) created a tutor tutee program. Each older child was assigned a younger child to be responsible for. Of course, she didn't start until the older ones were old enough to be responsible. It seemed to make things run VERY smoothly at her house. each Tutor was responsible to make sure each tutee made their bed, got dressed, practiced their piano and did their school work. Plus anything else that might be too hard for a little guy to do. The older kids took it very seriously. Those kids made sure tutees had washed their hands before meals, brushed teeth before bed, etc.

We had 4 kids in a two bedroom house so we built a plywood wall (with a raised bed built in for our only daughter) in the master bedroom. That way the kids had more room and our daughter had a bit of privacy.

A friend with 8 kids replaced chairs with benches So did my friend with 10 kids. The mother of 8 took a regular picnic table, painted it a pretty color, padded and upholstered (with waterproof vinyl tablecloth material) the benches with a matching color and it looked really nice.

As far as clothing, you probably already know about colorcoding. My friend with 10 kids had a hard time with clothes. her mother in law (also 10 kids) told her that the key was to not have so many clothes - no duplicates. They also lived out of clothes baskets rather than dressers.

With 6 kids just remember to don't sweat it - it just isn't worth it. It will all work out. Always has, always will.

Good luck!!