Personal advice needed on marriage and finances

[Gypsi]

Anyone is free to leave at any time. Staying together is a choice, hopefully made from love. (reply to the green card comments on previous page)

 

[DuckLady]

I hope folks are reading through the whole thread. The OP and her husband are doing an AWESOME job of working things out.

 

[scbatz33]

Quote:
X10. It's hard to find a level ground sometimes when two different personalities from different back grounds with different experiences live under the same roof. I applaud BOTH of your efforts.

And folks, people can live in this country and be in a relationship for LOVE and not have full citizenship. Lets not fall prey to overreaching stereotypes.

 

[AngieChick]

hangin'witthepeeps :

Happy to report that we talked and talked this weekend. I got flowers Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. They were wild flowers, but those are my favorite. He told me several times not to keep it locked away, I needed to tell him I was struggling. We had a wonderful weekend gardening and we even went to the peach orchard and had peach ice cream with the kids. We have money in my checking account left over after paying the bills and buying groceries. All in all it was a wonderful weekend and also wonderful that he understands. I don't know why I was nervous, but I'm glad I talked to you guys about it and mustered the courage.

Oh, that is wonderful! It's amazing what can happen when we muster up the courage to just talk something out.

A couple of years ago, I quit my Artist in Residence position due to scheduling issues. At that point I was all set to go back to school and get my credential. DH was so encouraging that I thought that he really wanted me to be bringing in an income in the near future. To be honest, though, everything was so much nicer and went smoother with me home full time that I didn't want to go back to school or work. I was just doing it because I thought it was important to him. Well, when we sat down and had an honest talk about it I was happily surprised to find that he much preferred having me at home. Mind you, I hate housework, so that wasn't the reason. He didn't want a maid. He just wanted us all happy and saw that we were happier and much less stressed with me being home full time. DH was just being so encouraging about me pursuing a career because he didn't want to force his wants on me. We were on the same page the whole time, we just didn't communicate it to each other for fear of putting our wants above the other person's. It's silly, really, we laugh about it now. And this whole ordeal was after we had been happily married for 14 years.

What I'm getting at is that it can happen in any marriage. It's how you handle it from there that matters. And, it looks like you two are handling it beautifully.​