Poll!! Am I being unfairly mean??

[birdnutz]

To try and make a long story short. We finally recieved our contents check from the insurance for a house fire. Paid off bills and caught up on others. Decided to treat ourselves to a hot tub (used). Had to wire and build a deck for it. Told everyone that if they wanted to play in it they had to help in some way. Everyone did except my DIL. My son and her plus 2 children live her at a very low price. $400.00 per month and that includes food. She got furious that I started charging them anything! She does hardly anything around here. Maybe cook dinner once a month. Done dishes maybe 3 times going on 6 months. Never cleans anything. I work 96 hours in a 2 week period. Today I'm attempting to clean as they're setting up the tub. She stayed in the basement until son came home for lunch. Sat on the deck watching for about 30 minutes. Now she's left. I don't feel that she has earned the privlegde of sitting in the hot tub. It also has locks. So I can keep it locked when we're not home.
Am I being unfairly mean about this? I feel that she's wants the priviledges without the work just because she's married to my son. She always acts like she deserves what everyone else works for.

 

[hikerchick]

Nobody deserves to have things handed to them. She gets what she sows.You are NOT mean or unfair. You work hard. She does not. Let her get a job and buy her own hot tub if she wants one..better yet, move into a place of their own.

 

[SpringChickens]

I don't think that you're being unreasonable, but is it worth the hard feelings which will inevitably result?

No, she doesn't deserve to use the hot tub, but will this cause a rift between you and your son? Good luck, and I'm sorry about your problem.

 

[WingingIt]

My vote is: Time for them to get out of your house and get their own.


She doesn't deserve it but if you enforce that she's going to make you and your son's lives miserable and try to pit you against each other. They've been living there very cheaply so they should have been saving money up to get their own place. It's time.

 

[Whispering Winds]

Nope, stick to your guns. It's so hard to live with family; we did it over a year ago, and for the first time in my life, I knew what having a nervous breakdown was all about. I loved them, but we ended up buying another rental house for them, because of it. I didn't want too, but they came to watch fireworks in July of 08 and 5 stayed. Even the brother came and stayed too!!! If she gripes, have a list made out on a rotation basis and say "here it is. Read it and weep!! No more free rides. If you can walk and talk, you can jump in and start doing chores." Good luck.

 

[PineBurrowPeeps]

Lock the tub. She seems like a.. well I can't say it here

 

[bheila]

Sounds like your DIL is a spoiled brat

Unless you want a bunch of conflict with locking the hot tub up, kick them out. Then she'll know what it's like to grow up and be an adult. That's ridiculous to lock your own things up

a hot tub of all things! What's next? Toilet paper?

 

[Katy]

Quote:
Couldn't agree more!!!! Mine know in an extreme emergancy they could stay here, but not indefinately! I love them all dearly, but they're adults and need to be responsible for themselves and their families.

 

[debilorrah]

You are not bein unfair. Our grown kids who pay not rent, just got the itnernet and TV locked from used when we aren't home. Put that in your pipe and smoke it!!!!!

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

Quote:
WingingIt said:

My vote is: Time for them to get out of your house and get their own.


She doesn't deserve it but if you enforce that she's going to make you and your son's lives miserable and try to pit you against each other. They've been living there very cheaply so they should have been saving money up to get their own place. It's time.

My vote is for both of these combined. Did your son contribute? Then he contributed for his family. There wouldn't be a separate "payment" from each adult...... I live nest door to my mother in law. It incvolves a great deal of compromise and tongue biting on both of our parts some times. We resolve to get along because we both love the same people: my DH and my children.​