poured in my life can't it stop? Dads Gone9/25/10Gmas Gone10/31/10

[chickeypoo]

Well, this saturday we were supposed to go to the zoo. but now we aren't cuz dad can't handle the humidity. So, my Sis in law wanted to go to the Mall of America and take him into the underground aquarium. She still wants everyone there. ugh. sorry i am not paying that much money to go through the aquarium that i went through a few years ago. and was not impressed with then.. so why woudl i be now? esp for that price? it took us maybe 1/2 hour to get through. so was it worth the 60 plus dollars? I don't really think so. and yea i could go through again.. but it was the same thing.. over and over. so i am trying to find some reasonably priced thing to take our dad to, that everyone will want to do. personally, i think that he'd love to go fishing some place that he's never been, but she doesn't see it that way. she wants a whole family affair to go someplace and take some pics. Like my DH said, "your dad is not about animals in cages, he's about being in the outdoors, seeing the real thing in real life in their environment"

I won't never ever forget when we went down this one area.. swampy, rivery, woodsy area. now, it's mosquito heaven(and was before but not nearly as bad as i recall) anyway, we were walking along and there was this HUUUUUUGE woodpecker. thing had to stand about to my knee. It was a Pileated Woodpecker. I never saw one again. Just with my dad. he still says "you remember that big woodpecker we saw?" lol. of course, i can't ever forget how stunning it was. Im used to the 6 or so inch ones. with tiny heads and big beaks. Not one that has a huge head and an even bigger beak LOL. That's a memory i won't forget.

Skiffing with him in the ponds, by these gorgeous lily pads(i was about 14 or 15) in my own skiff. boy my arms were sore the next day. LOL. it was the only time i ever did that.. but i won't forget trying to get into the skiff without it tipping over and him laughing at me. haha. thanks a lot dad

he always asks me about these beaver houses. i can't remember where they all were but he sure does. LOL.

His main things were and always have been, fishing and trapping. he did hunt for a bit.. but i don't think that was really his style. i know how to trap and bait traps. be it a flat trap, conibear, or a turtle trap

i can bait my own hook, and put my own hook on my line along with sinker.

this is all thanks to my dad. i know what animals i can trap and when, and why i can't trap them other times. I know how to hatch a set of turtle eggs. I know how to kill a chicken, (before i even got into chickens)

The memories may fade with time but it's the memories that will get me through the harder times.

He's starting his harder chemo tomorrow. Im worried.

 

[3goodeggs]

I understand your sister's desire to have everyone together. She is trying to hang on to 'Family". She may be afraid that when your dad is gone, that the glue that held his children together will dissolve.
Your dad should be getting pretty worn down. A big affair may not be what he wants either.
A tall glass of iced lemonade under a big shady tree with your girls running around and giggling may be the biggest and best way to spend time with him right now.
I guess, you all could ask him what he would enjoy doing. It may be as simple as getting everyone in one place for waffles and Ice cream. or, he may want to spend some one on one time with each of you. He knows the score, and he is probably trying to please all of you. Ask him what he really wants.

 

[chickeypoo]

Ok, so we went to mall of america. it was NOT fun. i ended up blowing my top at my sis in law in the parking ramp.. told her where to go and where to stick it. but later we both apologized to each other. my dad was not pleasant to be around and made the beginning rather rough and im still POed about the aquarium. we had to rush out of there and never got to touch the animals at the end. i spent a lot of money on nothing basically. cuz during it all my DH took pics and then my camera decided to take a crap on me and deleted aaaaaaallll the pics i had on there. ugh. i had some on my computer but none left of the trip. so i was already mad abuot that and then my dad was being a jerk (i know.. i know) and my sis in law was being a... well, i can't say it here. cuz it's nothing that new on her part.

anyway onto the other updates. and crapiness in my life.

my DD2 came down with a cold... which turned into well.. more. when i was working monday last week my dad showed up with her... instead of bringing her down the day before when it started. ugh. so she was breathing hard.. i went and talked to my boss saying i had to leave and told him why.. and he was fine with it(thankfully he's not too buttheadish LOL) anyway, i took her home to do the nebulizer like i always do. and it's then i notice her lips were slightly bluish. did the neb, it went away but then she was still breathing hard. called DH at work to come home at lunch and we will go to the docs. by the time he gets home her lips are starting to get bluish again. we head down ASAP and get into her normal doc and her oxygen saturation is low(just like it had been the last time but we weren't admitted the last time) they do a neb but it's not responding. the last time they did two and it worked. this time only one. (last time it was a walk in doctor that did it and called her regular doc and said not to admit us cuz i knew what to do) so he ended up admitting us to the hospital. great. just what i can't afford right now.(after fixing the house and car.. where do i get the money?)

anyway, we drove her to the hospital and admit her and get a chest x-ray. and it was the NEXT day they finally see the pneumonia which caused her coughing which caused the asthma attack. but it took until wendesday/thursday to get her off oxygen. i stayed in the hospital every night. i only had enough time to cover for half the week and hubby only had a few hours to cover. so he worked wednesday and thursday. we came home thursday night. the doctor wasn't a great one.

i had gone to my mom's for a bit while DD ate breakfast. that's when the doctor came and left. and the nurse never talked to her. ugh. so when i asked the nurse about discharge time and she said kind of rudely "i didn't talk to the doctor". so when the second nurse came at 3 i asked her and she called the doctor right away and the doctor came and said that we could leave that night. yay!

she's doing much better. but we spent a lot on meds to get her home. and she's almost done with her antibiotics. she was on two of those, a liquid steriod, and two inhalers. thankfully we are down to the one inhaler.

to another topic. my DH's gma has been in the nursing home for awhile. a nurse who isn't her normal nurse came in and instead of lifting her by the armpits, grabber her arm and pulled. and broke it. my FIL and MIL aren't persuing anything. this was about a month or so ago. and then when they did the x-ray to see how bad it was they noticed dark spots in her bones. turned out to be bone cancer. then about a week later, they noticed a lump on her breast. .. yep breast cancer. there was no way to set her arm cuz it was all swelled up and then they couldn't do surgery cuz she wouldn't survive it. so she'd been in pain since then from her arm.. and then i suppose the cancers.

On wednesday DH and i were gonna go to the farmers market to pick up some flowers to take to the nurses who took care of my middle DD while in the hospital. but i decided that we could do that next week. I told DH were gonna go see gma. and his dad said there isn't much to see. and i said fine.. it was up to him. middle DD and DH and i and FIL all went to see gma and she just laid there.. didn't know we were there or anything. just breathed. i told DD to tell her she loved her. and she did and DH and i did too. then we left. yesterday morning i got woke up with a phone call. Gma passed away last night around 11. so there was a reason i told DH that we were going. I just knew.

DH is taking this rather well. On the way home last night he looked at me and said "Now, she's back with Gpa" and i have to agree. that is a great thing. She was terribly sad since gpa passed away 7 years ago. she was always near tears when it came to him. one day when we went to see her(it was her b-day) and someone had given her a picture of Gpa and she said she cried all that day cuz she missed him so. and it breaks my heart to know she loved him that much and had to live 7 years without the man that she shared her life with. I told DH that now she's happy, and she can walk again just like she said she would. and she's not in pain anymore. and she's also with the two babies she lost in labor. twins. and she's with her siblings. and he smiled at me.

now, this weekend im stopping at the farmers market and then im gonna stop and see my gma. i know it's not long away that i will be in my DH's shoes in losing a gma. it will be hard for me. she took care of me for a long time. as did my dad. and my dad.. well, it's not that far away either.

my dad's dog had puppies last week. I told him that when he passes away that jason and i have agreed to take her(the mom) with us. My middle DD wants a puppy of hers too. but we really can't afford to take care of another big dog. it will be hard enough with her after he goes.. i know she will always remind me of him. but i can't have her going to the humane society. ill do what i have to to have her in my house.

anyway, that's it for the updates. i think. maybe later today i wll have more. my dad was supposed to have a scan done today. he's got pain in his leg.

 

[chickeypoo]

i knew id have an update before the day was through.

It's spread to the bone in his leg.

 

[turney31]

 

[Karrie13]

You and all of your family have our prayers.

 

[FluffyColor]

to you. Cancer truly is an evil disease.
It took my Grandma...my Grandpa....my cousin...my dog...and almost took my mother.
Been there, done that.
You will be in my prayers.

 

[redhen]

So sorry..

 

[chickeypoo]

Oh, and i forgot to add that last week as well, while i sat in the hospital one of the women i used to work with passed away. she too had lung cancer. I had just found out on monday as i was leaving work. I talked with her DH as i was leaving and im so glad i did. she had cancer in 13 different places in her body as well as in her brain. she was a nice lady and im glad to have met her even if we didn't talk every day, i still went out of my way to show pics of the kids cuz she missed her grand children.(they live some where in the south) anyway, to make matters worse i found out she passed away in the same hospital i was staying in. If i had known, i would have gone and seen her. even if she hadn't known who i was or even that i had been there.

So cancer is totally evil. It's taken my DH's gma and gpa, my coworker, my aunt, my dad's best friend, my favorite dog, and soon my dad. My Dh's dad also had cancer but thankfully caught it in time. So, i have been touched more than needed by the evilness of cancer. I wish it would just go away. it's devestating.

I thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.

 

[Lunachick]

chickeypoo