I assume most of you have read my party post about this past weekend and how my mom's friend treated me. that was saturday. onto monday, i talked to my dad and he said he was going to the doctor cuz if he didn't my brother was gonna take him in himself. anyway, i had told him to go. actually i told him every time i talked to him. so, when he told me he was gonna go i knew it was getting bad. at first we thought it was like asthma. or bronchospasm. where your airways constrict. anyway, he went in to the free clinic cuz he don't work or have any money. they gave him three prescriptions. steriod, antibiotics, and inhaler. after a nebulizer treatment. he said he felt better(i called him at 10 at night to see)not a ton but some. which was better than nothing. this is also a guy who NEVER goes to the doctor. ever. the next day, im at work and my brother comes up to me at like 2 mins before lunch and tells me dad collapsed at the gas station. so he was going down there. i didn't. cuz i need to save my time off in case something happens. (and im glad i didn't go down) they thought maybe congestive heart failure and ephysema. yesterday after my break, brother comes up and tells me.. he's gonna get chemo. he's got lung cancer. and it's constricting his air ways and blood vessels. after work i went down to the hospital and the doc says, they can't do too much more testing for what stage or what they can do until they get our dad feeling better. as in, able to take the breathing tube out. they are doing emergency radiation and chemo cuz it's so serious. tonight i went down and he was awake, and he was writing on his little papers, and after everyone left except me and the kids, he wrote he wanted to be cremated, and he wanted me to take care of his ashes. and that he was a donor(which i already knew) he wanted me to make blue berry muffins to take into the nurses and hand them out for them cuz they have all been really nice to him. before we left i hugged him.. which i haven't done in a long time and i told him i loved him and i looked at him and he started to cry. and i feel terrible. i just feel terrible. he's only 63. last night my hubby went to shut the chickens at the old place(we don't have a coop yet) and he only found 4 of the 18 we had. today we found 7 total. the nieghbors dog got the rest. hubby did find a dead one, on the edge of our property going into the nieghbors. ugh. a few weeks ago my dog was getting gimpy in the back. so we took him in to the vet. slipped disc maybe but the vet didn't hold much hope. after almost two weeks. he's walking again. and running and being a big turd. the same day we found out my tub was leaking into the crawlspace. so we have been fixing on that for almost two weeks. ugh. i finally (after almost a week or better) was able to wash clothes and do dishes lol. so with all the crap that's gone on.. i think i need some prayers or some candles lit(i don't care what religion anyone is cuz all thoughts will be and are appreciated) to make it stop raining in my life. I need some happiness to go with sunshine and i need my spirits lifted. i don't have many friends outside of my work area. this is just about the only place i go. it also sucks that he's almost an hour away for driving. i don't have much money(esp after the vet and the plumbing.) i do'nt have much else to say but keep my dad and i in your thoughts and prayers.