I just picked up this thread, and read through it, your heart is in the right place and I hope your sister will listen, and comes to realize it might be a very necessary thing to do. And to tell you why...one of my first cousins was born with a mental disability and he was never quite right, my aunt had 4 other healthy kids, and my brothers and I spend a lot of time with my aunt and our cousins, sometimes whole entire summers. But as time went on and he started growing, so did his strength and this started to unveil constant violent outbursts, it came to the point where people couldn't be alone with him at any given moment. He just didn't know his own strength and when he got agitated it was real scary, my aunt ended up having to give the pets away after he almost killed their dog. that was real upsetting for them. But nothing compared to what was to come. During a summer stay at my aunts chalet when I was 11, we clearly became aware no one could actually control my cousin. On one particular day, we all went to the beach and we were having fun, until he got agitated, his older brother who he always listened to and looked at with admiration tried to bribe him out of the water with a promise of an ice cream cone, but he wouldn't listen he just kept smacking his hands against the waves and screaming, so my eldest cousin went in to get him, but as soon as he got close my cousin jumped on him and well without going into full details, he nearly drowned his brother. He had no clue what he was doing, obviously his intention was not to harm him, and we all understood that, it took 4 grown men to carry him out of the water and all the way home where he had to be sedated.
a month later on my birthday, they threw me a birthday party and gave him a little gift to give me, it was real sweet, a pair of sterling silver earrings, and he wanted me to put them on so I did, he got real excited and once I had them on he hugged me so tightly, he cracked three of my ribs he also yanked on one of the earrings and ripped it right out of my ear, eventually my ear would heal and same with my ribs but I was scared of him after that.
I mentioned my aunt had 4 other children, well one of them was a baby girl. One night my aunt must of bee exhausted because she never heard the baby wake up in the middle of the night, but my cousin did, and he got up and went to her room, well the whole house woke up when the baby began crying real loudly, we found him holding the baby by one arm and he nearly dropped her to the ground, honestly he was only trying to help her little sister who was hungry, no ill intentions on his behalf, but after this my aunt knew it was time to place him where professionals could really help him, and her and the rest of the family.
It was obvious he was a danger to himself and everyone else, after his placement, it was real hard for the whole family because he had hundreds if not thousands of great moments to his few bad ones, and he was a joy to be around with, his laughter was intoxicating and he lit up a room whenever he was around.
However his being placed helped him tremendously, he will never be able to live alone, he learned how to be independent, and provided him with the skills of life he is capable of understanding, he can cook, he goes shopping with a helper so he doesn't get jipped, but he buys his own foods, and does his laundry and his own chores, he learned to read, that was an amazing thing, made us all cry when he was able to read us a short story, he will never be able to read a novel, but children's books he can, and that alone is fantastic. the final piece of the puzzle is that he is no longer a threat to anyone, he is calm and can control his anger and excitement, meaning he is not going to grab the fist person closes to him and accidentally hurt them.
It was a seriously hard choice for my aunt and uncle to make, but ultimately they know hey made the right choice. Once your sister gets over the initial guilt she might feel over it she will likely conclude that placing him might be the only way. only time will tell.
Ema
a month later on my birthday, they threw me a birthday party and gave him a little gift to give me, it was real sweet, a pair of sterling silver earrings, and he wanted me to put them on so I did, he got real excited and once I had them on he hugged me so tightly, he cracked three of my ribs he also yanked on one of the earrings and ripped it right out of my ear, eventually my ear would heal and same with my ribs but I was scared of him after that.
I mentioned my aunt had 4 other children, well one of them was a baby girl. One night my aunt must of bee exhausted because she never heard the baby wake up in the middle of the night, but my cousin did, and he got up and went to her room, well the whole house woke up when the baby began crying real loudly, we found him holding the baby by one arm and he nearly dropped her to the ground, honestly he was only trying to help her little sister who was hungry, no ill intentions on his behalf, but after this my aunt knew it was time to place him where professionals could really help him, and her and the rest of the family.
It was obvious he was a danger to himself and everyone else, after his placement, it was real hard for the whole family because he had hundreds if not thousands of great moments to his few bad ones, and he was a joy to be around with, his laughter was intoxicating and he lit up a room whenever he was around.
However his being placed helped him tremendously, he will never be able to live alone, he learned how to be independent, and provided him with the skills of life he is capable of understanding, he can cook, he goes shopping with a helper so he doesn't get jipped, but he buys his own foods, and does his laundry and his own chores, he learned to read, that was an amazing thing, made us all cry when he was able to read us a short story, he will never be able to read a novel, but children's books he can, and that alone is fantastic. the final piece of the puzzle is that he is no longer a threat to anyone, he is calm and can control his anger and excitement, meaning he is not going to grab the fist person closes to him and accidentally hurt them.
It was a seriously hard choice for my aunt and uncle to make, but ultimately they know hey made the right choice. Once your sister gets over the initial guilt she might feel over it she will likely conclude that placing him might be the only way. only time will tell.
Ema
