Prayers needed in the worst sort of way. Another Update....09/02

Pumpkinpup

Poultry Princess
12 Years
Jul 16, 2008
4,147
38
336
North-West Georgia
I was up all night last night crying and very seick at my stomach. I know that I should just be calm and deal with this one step at a time but I somehow never saw myself faced with something of this magnitude.

I am not certain but I have a very real fear that I could have cancer. I'm not a hypocondriac and rarely even bat an eye at injury or illness but this time is very different.

I will spare you all the details. I can not be sure until I have some tests of course but I must admit that I am very scared. I never thought I would get this out of whack about something.

DH is just smothering me and does not want me out of his sight. I did not sleep much last night and neither did he. He wants to talk about it at length and I just want to be left alone to deal with it. I get so much more upset when he is hugging on me and trying to get me to talk. I don't know what to do. I can't breathe. I know he is hurting and afraid also and I know it is because he loves me so much but I can't handle this being smothered. I love him and don't want to hurt his feelings.

Please pray for me to have strength and resolve to handle this and for my husband to have some peace in his heart and see that I need some space and time. I need God to hold me up because I am just not strong enough to do it myself any more.
 
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Good thoughts and well wishes
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Guys are "fixers." He's trying to make things better but at the same time, he's probably feeling helpless and scared because he loves you and he knows he really can't fix anything in this situation.

My sincerest thoughts for you and your husband and family that all will be well.
 
Relax, and wait to find out for sure. I thought the same thing, truly, had every symptom that would have indicated it. Went to the doctor, went thru a battery of tests, and it wasnt. So 30 years later, I can still tell the story.

Don't jump to conclusions. And if it is the worst, treatment is so different now that it was even 10 years ago. It can be cured. So wait and see a doctor, don't assume.
 
Oh, Pumpkinpup...
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(We need a bigger hug smilie...)

For those of us of a certain age Cancer is this huge thing. Back in the day it wasn't treatable and was horrible. When my dad was diagnosed back in February I fell completely apart. A total come apart, if you will. It is such a big scary word and concept. Even now just thinking about it tears me up.

What I have learned with all of this going on with Dad is that medicine has come such a long way in the last little bit. Dad has been doing chemo since March. He just got a final CAT scan and looks great. They're going to do another couple of rounds just to catch any "hiders", but other than that he is fine. Truthfully, Dad's in better shape now than he has been in a long time. While the chemo makes him tired, his work with PT has really toned him up. He lost a lot of weight initially and he hasn't put all of it back on (we are all large people- big boned if you will
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). He's trimmer and more athletic than I ever remember him being, oddly enough. He's out walking every morning and lifting weights (well, a giant can of stewed tomatoes, but...). He looks great.
The chemo is time consuming and exhausting. But they are smart enough now to just target certain things. Dad hasn't been nauseous through any of it. He's been aggravated that he was under house arrest while his counts were down, but he has been up and going strong. Truthfully, I think he's been driving Mom a little nuts. He gets that dose of prednisone in him and he's a whirling dervish of housecleaning fury.
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All of this to say that I dearly pray that you don't have cancer, but if that should be the case, there is Hope with a capital H. It might just be a bump in the road.
Maybe if DH has something to do it will calm him down. Can you put him in charge of research and development? That was Mom's job. She got online and read everything she could get her hands on. She's a nurse, so that's right up her alley anyway. Maybe have DH start a folder of information for you. Start a notebook and put him in charge of writing down what the doctors say. If you are like me you will be focused on other things at those appointments. DH can be your personal secretary. At very least he will be piled up in front of the computer and you can take some time in another room to process what's in your head.

Again, hugs and more hugs your way. I will be praying for you and he both.
 

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