Prenuptial agreements & step-children?

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
Ahh, I went back and saw BP meds mentioned. I would assume from the context blood pressure was meant, and that isn't really an issue in the relationship, although health issues can cause stress. Bi-polar, though probably would cause relationship issues.

 

[card5640]

Been thru this, get a lawyer. Your assets can be considered his if you were to divorce or the ex wife went to support enforcement. He should get a lawyer to have his support reduced since he lost his job, if they were living with him his "support" to them would be less. Judges are generally good about this, that way he isnt getting further behind and your income wouldnt be considered into the mix. Since the ex is on good terms he could ask her first to reduce the amount as he cant afford it, if she doesnt agree she can get a lawyer. The formula used in court was based on a prior income and situations change.
Best of luck

 

[Judy]

You most definitely need an attorney. I have no idea whether you need a pre-nup; quite possibly, but either way.... But you need someone familiar with the ins and outs of these situations. You will never think of all the "what-ifs" that might be involved. Pre-nups are NOT just about whether your marriage will survive; this is much more complex than that.

Meanwhile, I wish you both well.

 

[JennsPeeps]

BP = "blood pressure"

Thanks for the quick responses, everyone.

I've been reading some of the marriage/asset laws for my state. They say that assets collected during marriage are to be split 50/50, and that one spouse cannot will more than their portion.

For example, if I were to die and we had collected 100k of assets, I couldn't leave more than 50k to anyone. But if I were to leave my brother as my beneficiary on my life insurance (which he currently is), then life insurance policy would not be considered part of the marital estate.

It's a conversation that DF and I need to have. What has made me really sad is my parents' constant meddling. They keep saying, "it's because we love you". Well, they stress me out to no end.

 

[key west chick]

Thats what I figured. McGoo thought "BP" was a big concern. I thought maybe they thought it was bi-polar or something else. I think I over thought this. I'm going back out with my chickens now.

 

[WingingIt]

I'm in a community property state and what you stated in your first paragraph of questions is how it works here. If it was yours before the marriage, it's yours afterwards, BUT, any money (equity) added to it (if you are still paying it off) that is added during the marriage will have to be split if there is a divorce.

I'd think he could get his child support amount recalculated considering he's not making that much money now - usually there is a percentage of total income that they cap at and if he's over that now, it could be reduced.

Here your income/assets can't be considered for calculating or collecting child support, but I'm not sure if it's like that in all states.

 

[FrenchHen]

Jenn, I'm sorry about your parents' meddling.

Can you toss a cup of pennies in an ivy covered hillside and distract them until after the wedding?

 

[JenEric Farms]

I have a friend that married a man that had two children and was behind in child support. When they filed taxes together it was garnished...

 

[JennsPeeps]

Quote:
I have a girlfriend who is in a similar situation (children frmo 1st marriage in another state, high child support) and her income is not considered in the amount granted to the child support.

What about the dad situation? Was it fair of him to show up unannounced when he knew DF wasn't here and give me what-for? I'm so fed up with it.

 

[gocrow77]

Well, I speak from daughter/step ( adopted ) daughter experience - if that counts. My mother had me before she was married to my dad, he adopted me right after they married. My mother is a rather unstable individual - it got much worse the older she got and I and my immediate family have had no contact with her for a few years now. She booted my dad out of the house within a few months of our discontinuing contact with her, and it all went downhill from there. Needless to say, three years later and months into a messy divorce she is trying to get the house and property he inherited from his mother when she passed away long before they were married. I don't know how that will turn out. But, for my dad's sake I wish HE had arranged a prenup when they were married. My mother makes ALOT more money than he does or ever did ( he is disabled now and has been for a few years ) and she is bent on destroying any opportunity at self sufficiency he has remaining. He cannot afford rent and she knows it. As a child I could have never foreseen my mother acting this way. I feel horrible for my dad and how she has behaved towards him - we are pretty close. My point is this, knowing someone now is one thing - knowing what they MIGHT be like in 10, 20, or yes even 30 years from now if things get ugly and a divorce is in the works is another. I personally would never consider a prenup. But, I think in some cases it is a wise thing to do. If nothing else something that says "what was mine before the marriage stays mine and vice versa, and what we earn, purcahse, aquire together is divided fairly in the event of divorce" might be all you would need/consider drawing up. I definitely think my dad would have been better off with one though.......