I so agree! That's why I asked that question. Explore why you feel bad and be honest with yourself. Does it come from within or does it come from without? From expectations and irrational thinking out there that says someone is being cruel if they kill an animal and THEN eat it, but somehow not a bit cruel if they just eat it after some nameless person in some mysterious place they don't want to hear about has killed a nameless chicken raised in another place they don't want to hear about?
I have come to believe that a person who does not supervise the humane killing of the birds they raise so tenderly are the cruel ones. Yep, I said that. It's my responsibility to nurture that bird clear up until the very last day, kill it in full health and well being~before it sickens and dies in torment, and use their bodies for what they were intended. Anything less is a disservice to my good chickens. I can't imagine letting them die of old age or illness and letting them get sick before I gave them a humane cull. It's my job to give them a good day every day but the last day and even that isn't so bad. It's done quietly and without drama, no chasing or nervous energy on my part. They trust me to take care of them and I do, right up to their very last breath I am there, seeing that they don't suffer any more than they have to. Then I don't waste their life by not eating them, as some do. I enjoy them down to the very last bit of their energy.
We have a bond, my chickens and I, and they will watch me kill their flock mates and still trust me that very same hour, just as they have every other day. I have been given stewardship and dominion over them by their Creator and I take it quite seriously. Very seriously. I have to answer for my actions with His good animals that He has entrusted to my care and I don't take that lightly. I have to stand up and answer for it all. It's that big.