Prokta's Relationship Advice Column

[EmtheFishLady]

Hey doc, I got one for you.


There's this guy, an older feller. Much older than lil ol me...(He claims 103, we all know it's more like 203)...shows up on my porch every morning with an empty brownie plate. He looks mighty pitiful. And yet, even after I satisfy his insatiable appetite for brownies, he still calls me horrid names! Sits on my front porch, rocking in a rocker, with brownie crumbs on his shirt and calls ME a harlot! Whatever should I do doc? Should I break it off?

 

[Ec_Prokta]

Em: So, you do give him his brownies... Well, you should definitely stop telling him to call you those nasty names. If he doesn't, then no more brownies.

 

[rodriguezpoultry]

Don't know if this can be salvaged, but...I'm allergic to my engagement ring. Beautiful white gold, 3/4 carat diamond ring. I put it on and it's like I have poison ivy hell going on. Should I tell him I'm allergic to it? Or just get it replayed without him knowing??

 

[bluesub]

You could have a contact allergy to nickel (it's a component of white gold). You can try putting clear nail polish on the inside of the ring, or maybe scotch tape.

 

[eenie114]

Quote:
Dear Ec_Prokta,

I have this dear friend, I'll call "Ghost Scribbler". Ghost Scribbler seems to think I have "problems" and need a week or two of your special kind of therapy to solve.
My question is:
Should I listen to Ghost Scribbler or the voices in my head?

Just call us Sybil/Eve

Dear Imp,
I'm filling in for Ec at this moment because you have a very serious problem, a very rare disease.
We've all noticed it except you. This is quite common with illnesses of this kind.
You have an acute case of Im-a-little-insane-itis. Usually caused by brownie deprivation and overexposure to WA weather. You see, the slight acidity in rainwater will get into your eyes, nose, mouth and ears, then travel to your brain. Your brain, because of the brownie deprivation, will think the acid in the rainwater is the taste of brownies, causing you to act as though you were on a sugar high.

Prescription
Take 3 brownies with every meal for three weeks, then return for a checkup.

*Messy signature

I have spoken.​

 

[Ec_Prokta]

Quote:
You should definitely tell him.

 

[danielle82]

geeez, I wish I had a prescription for 3 brownies at every meal.....then I could tell people I eat the way I do on doctors orders! haha

 

[Imp]

Quote:
Dear Ec_Prokta,

I have this dear friend, I'll call "Ghost Scribbler". Ghost Scribbler seems to think I have "problems" and need a week or two of your special kind of therapy to solve.
My question is:
Should I listen to Ghost Scribbler or the voices in my head?

Just call us Sybil/Eve

Dear Imp,
I'm filling in for Ec at this moment because you have a very serious problem, a very rare disease.
We've all noticed it except you. This is quite common with illnesses of this kind.
You have an acute case of Im-a-little-insane-itis. Usually caused by brownie deprivation and overexposure to WA weather. You see, the slight acidity in rainwater will get into your eyes, nose, mouth and ears, then travel to your brain. Your brain, because of the brownie deprivation, will think the acid in the rainwater is the taste of brownies, causing you to act as though you were on a sugar high.

Prescription
Take 3 brownies with every meal for three weeks, then return for a checkup.

*Messy signature

I have spoken.​

Thank you Dr. eenie,

I'm feeling better already, the voices are just whispering now and I think Ghost Scribbler was just a figment.

At least I feverently hope so!

Imp/Sybil/Eve

 

[Spookwriter]

I've thought about it, Doc.

Imp can use whatever kinds of therapy you have. The voices in
Imps head have only quieted because the voices now have complete
control.

Imp's in pretty bad shape Doc.

Gonna have to spend a lot of time laying on your couch talking about
"issues". But whatever you do, Doc...don't mention cows to Imp.

Or little tenny cars...
Or clowns...
Or the circus...

Or anything whatever that has "grits' in it.

It sets him off...

 

[Imp]

Quote: