PuPu Platter

Jun 28, 2022
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I do not mean to be offensive, but these poo manufacturing contemptible feathered cockroaches need to be out of my kitchen ASAP. They. Are. Vile.

One if them still has the vomitous affliction known as pasty butt. We finally tried the bird baptism recommended by a veteran chicken owner. I stupidly used one of my Tupperware dishes. I will never touch it again. Apparently, when you dunk a baby fowl into Dawn and water, the soapy solution operates as a fast-acting enema. My Dearest Love was holding the small atrocity at the time. And with the choice of desecrating my kitchen floors, desecrating his garbagey old tee shirt or desecrating my kitchen sink, the heretic I agreed to marry and who promised to do nice things to me until we die - THAT vagabond - chose to desecrate my kitchen sink.

"Are the shades of Pemberly to be thus polluted?" Well, Lady Catherine, apparently THEY ARE!!

Like khaki coloured spoiled milk on an explosive mission at light speed, engorged watery brown chunks shot out of that tiny little sphincter in rapid, gag inducing succession. And my glorious white sink was corrupted with each onslaught of chicken excrement.

Transgressions galore.

To be fair to the chicken, I was actively attempting to violate her nether regions with a soapy q-tip prior to the sacrilegious baptism-turned-egregious-bodily-evacuations. I suppose turn about is fair play.

I am so thoroughly disgusted and in such desperate need to get these abominations out of here that I went outside into whatever this heat index is and worked nearly two hours on the coop. I managed to literally cut 4 pieces of wood and screw them to their appropriate places.

Two. Hours. Four. Pieces.

I am equal parts triumphant at having accomplished SOMETHING and defeated at having accomplished so little.

If an apocalypse is coming, it is clear I will not survive.


Aside: the youngest homosapien recommends we rename the defective chick Pu Pu Platter. #dead
 
I'm not a green person; I happen to have a septic tank and therefore have never used bleach. Until today. I may end up bleaching everything. Lol.

I have a septic tank, but use bleach anyway in moderate quantities.

Better to pump my tank periodically than to be unable to adequately sanitize food surfaces. :)
 
Whoaaaaa there. So no running water outside? I mean I love that you love writing and you're very good at it, but baby chicks in the kitchen or anywhere else inside your house is your self inflicted ass pain. You'll have alot more time for creative writing when you embrace raising chicks outdoors with the side benefit of no pasty butt. Just saying....
 
"Are the shades of Pemberly to be thus polluted?" Well, Lady Catherine, apparently THEY ARE!!
🤣🤣🤣
I do hope your glorious descriptive powers can soon be otherwise channeled in experiencing less traumatic events in your kitchen. I do commend your rate of 4 pieces in 2 hours, as faith without works is dead, some effort, without a doubt, must surpass none at all!
 
Whoaaaaa there. So no running water outside? I mean I love that you love writing and you're very good at it, but baby chicks in the kitchen or anywhere else inside your house is your self inflicted ass pain. You'll have alot more time for creative writing when you embrace raising chicks outdoors with the side benefit of no pasty butt. Just saying....
🤣🤣🤣 All brand new, first time, dear-God-what-have-I-got-myself-into, chickening. Happily, I am racking up one heck of a list of how to never do this ever again.
 
🤣🤣🤣 All brand new, first time, dear-God-what-have-I-got-myself-into, chickening. Happily, I am racking up one heck of a list of how to never do this ever again.
I have found that great humor often comes out of great crisis. Relocating the chicks outside of the kitchen may come at the sacrifice of good creative writing subject matter. Good for you, bad for us! 😆
 

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