Since there are so many mommies on this forum, I thought this would be a good place to ask a few questions. I've had two other kids before my newborn son, Declan, but both were not delivered via Cesarean. With Declan, I had to have a emergency c-section because he was completely wrapped in his umbilical cord, was hanging on to it with a death grip and wouldn't drop, which of course was causing massive heart decels with each contraction. We also found out mid c-section that he was posterior in position and most likely wouldn't have gone under the pelvic bone in that position anyway. So, I felt then, and still feel now it was a necessary procedure to get my little guy born safely.
That being said, I'm having a hard time coping with the sheer trauma of the situation. And to be honest, the brutality of going from being in "normal" labor one minute and sliced open not five minutes later. I mean, I am a person that has never even so much as had a molar pulled, or any surgery what-so-ever in my whole life. So I'm a little shell shocked even now and am having a hard time processing the whole thing. I've blocked huge portions of the whole experience. I also think back to before the birth and feel very sad and somehow cheated. I can't help but feel I did something wrong to cause the c-section. Worse than that, when I think of going into labor, instead of feeling reminiscent, I feel angry. Like if only I had not gone into labor then, maybe things would have turned out different.
I'm also really mad because if I hadn't had a Cesarean, I'd be back to "normal" by now (at least in the topical sense of "normal"). But with a big old hole in my belly, I'm benched for weeks and weeks! I can't even pick my son up in his infant car seat, I can't vacuum, can't work in the garden. For me, that's unbearably frustrating and hard to deal with. All my work is just piling up and there is nothing I can do about it. It's driving me insane.
I know all this is utterly illogical, and honestly-- silly. I'm grateful my son is born and healthy, no matter how. But those other feelings are plaguing me. Anyone else have a similar situation with a c-section delivery?
That being said, I'm having a hard time coping with the sheer trauma of the situation. And to be honest, the brutality of going from being in "normal" labor one minute and sliced open not five minutes later. I mean, I am a person that has never even so much as had a molar pulled, or any surgery what-so-ever in my whole life. So I'm a little shell shocked even now and am having a hard time processing the whole thing. I've blocked huge portions of the whole experience. I also think back to before the birth and feel very sad and somehow cheated. I can't help but feel I did something wrong to cause the c-section. Worse than that, when I think of going into labor, instead of feeling reminiscent, I feel angry. Like if only I had not gone into labor then, maybe things would have turned out different.
I'm also really mad because if I hadn't had a Cesarean, I'd be back to "normal" by now (at least in the topical sense of "normal"). But with a big old hole in my belly, I'm benched for weeks and weeks! I can't even pick my son up in his infant car seat, I can't vacuum, can't work in the garden. For me, that's unbearably frustrating and hard to deal with. All my work is just piling up and there is nothing I can do about it. It's driving me insane.
I know all this is utterly illogical, and honestly-- silly. I'm grateful my son is born and healthy, no matter how. But those other feelings are plaguing me. Anyone else have a similar situation with a c-section delivery?
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