Question for the Mommies- Concerning Cesarean Sections

[chickensducks&agoose]

I have had 3 c-sections, and the first was an Emergency one, after 7 hours of pushing... and they broke my tailbone to make more room for his gigantic head, and it still wouldn't fit. I too felt cheated, and sad, and i had a lot of pain and didn't heal very well... 2 months later there was still a deep hole in one side of my incision, and I couldn't take a bath... everything is so hard right after a baby, and being in pain, and having had your stomach muscles TORN apart (cutting makes them heal slower, so they make a hole and rip, like fabric) can make even walking hard. I still cannot do a sit-up... though I function normally in every other aspect, whatever makes you sit-up, is gone... can't strengthen it, because it is literally NOT there... I had nerve pain with each c-section, which meant that I couldn't lie down for weeks. I think you need to spend a lot of quality time with your baby, sitting together on the couch, or if you're allowed in the tub, do it there. babies love the warm water, and mommies love it too, and relaxing together with skin contact is so great. I personally felt weird being topless in my house holding the baby to my skin.... but in the tub it was less odd feeling. anyway, think about therapy, long after the body is healed, the mind is still traumatized, because you were ripped apart, without much warning, and yes it was for the best, so you could get your healthy baby in your arms, but it is still a great trauma.

 

[Orchid]

There are some exercises you can do to strengthen your stomach muscles, but you should have them cleared by your dr. first.

 

[gritsar]

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I had two emergency c-sections. Never gave them a second thought once I had my babies in my arms.

 

[phaethona]

My girls were both vag births, but I can relate to the birthing experience not being what you wanted. my youngest stopped breathing twice when they took her for her 1st bath. And then they tried to tell me I couldn't see her in the NICU because my epidural hadn't worn off and I hadn't yet followed the protocol to leave my room or that floor(you've never seen a half-numb woman rip out her own IV and shove past a nurse so fast) One minute everything was perfect, the next I was fearing for her life. By far and away that was both the happiest and scariest day of my life. I look back at it now and rather than being nostalgic, I'm sad and angry. I still carry this fear in me that something really bad is going to happen to her, I know it's not a reasonable fear, but not knowing if she was going to be okay changed me.

I know you know this, but you did nothing to cause the c-section. you and the doctor did the best you could to make sure he was safe, and that's important to remember. There are several very debilitating if not deadly conditions that can be caused by improper birthing procedure, and lucky you, you avoided them all.

It's frustrating wanting to be "normal" again, but do be so hard on yourself! you just went through one of the most invasive surgeries there is.
now is your time to heal, make everyone else do the vacuuming or get whatever help you can, and mostly, enjoy your precious little one 'cause they grow up too darn fast!

Sometimes us supermoms get so wrapped up in taking care of everyone, that we forget that we are allowed to need help and time to rest our minds and bodies.

Hang in there mama! you'll get there

 

[Candiss]

I understand how you feel, with my first son, I was in labor for over 2 days and when he started showing signs of being stressed, they decided I had to have a c-section and to be honest at that point I did not care but after the c-section, I did not see my son for almost another 2 days because I was so weak and he was in NICU, I saw him via polariod. My husband got to be with him. I felt like I missed out on everything, but with time those feeling faded and I was so blessed to have a beautiful healthy baby. Congrats on your new baby...

Candace

 

[ebwy2]

it is frustrating to not be able to do things, isn't it?

you can start to very gradually do things, but I do mean VERY gradually. Any pain or "pulling" in your incision and you stop. Overdoing things will just make your recovery take longer.
I carried my baby in his car seat out of the hospital a week after the caesarian, with hindsight I probably should have got my friend to do it (but he was carrying my bags).

You have to remember that it's MAJOR abdominal surgery and that if you'd had an operation for anything else you'd still have the recovery time but would probably feel less resentful of it.

 

[anbhean]

Thanks everyone for the well wishes and the advice! I appreciate it.

I can say that I feel better hearing others stories about their experiences. To be honest, physically I don't think I have it so bad. While my incision is a bit on the "larger" size for a c-section (about 8.5 inches horizontally), it's not really very painful. In fact I've been off my pain medication for over a week now and just yesterday did an "accidental" sit up from sleeping on my back without even thinking and had no pain at all. I think I'm a quick healer, not to mention incredibly stubborn and was up and walking about the hospital about 4 hours after coming out of post op. I got chewed out pretty royally by my Dr. but the way my body works... the quicker I get up and about the faster I heal.

My main issue right now is I'm still freaked about the fact that they don't close the incision with stitches or anything and I'm convinced that one good sneeze and I'll blow my uterus out of my body completely! Plus I'm TERRIFIED of infection. That and now that it's really healing, it ITCHES!?!? Is that normal? As for doing things I probably shouldn't... I have to admit, I've already carried the car seat twice, but only for small distances. I've caught myself bending too low and twisting too much a few times. But no real pain or issues from it thankfully.

I don't think I have postpartum. I mean, I guess I could, but truth is I don't feel depressed. I don't spend much time even feeling moody and my baby is a miracle and lets me sleep in 3 hour blocks at night, so yay on not being too sleep deprived! I mainly just get bluesy when I think about the whole labor and birth experience. Tonight will be the two week "anniversary" of when my water broke. Tonight I will probably feel pretty sad. But tomorrow, I'll most likely be back to it without a thought. It's the feeling of being cheated somehow that sneaks up on me still and the worry of what could I have done differently. I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one to have felt like this. I can't tell you how much better it makes me feel to not be the only one!

 

[justbugged]

Itching is a very good sign that you are healing up. It is very normal. I would hazard a guess that if your wound is itchy then the odds of infection is extremely small now. So cuddle with your munchkin and remember that for you the C-section saved your little guys life, and that he was worth every moment of the experience. I remember watching an Oprah show that featured Brook Shields talking about the trauma of her C-section. I am fairly sure that she wrote a book about her experience with recovery.

 

[phaethona]

the itching is normal, means the tissue is rebuilding itself. The things to look out for with infection are if it feels hot, swelling increases, any fluid leaking from the incision, but you should be "out of the woods" there, just keep following doc's orders on keeping it clean, etc. and you should be fine. And I'm sure they'd be happy to see you or take a phone call if there's any cause for concern.

I'm glad you're not dealing with PPD, it can be really tough, I couldn't stop crying for 3 months with my daughter. I felt like I was cheating her out of a good mom which only made me feel worse, but as time went on it became easier to focus on the exciting things. In your case, you may not have any depression, but your hormones are still learning to be "unpregnant" and can amplify any not-so-good feelings.
It's important to get things out like you're doing.

I think time will be your best defense. Little by little you'll find it easier to remember the good things about the delivery, like the first time you laid eyes on him, first time you fed him, how he smelled after his first bath, first visits with family, and those memories will outshine everything else.

 

[Sunny Side Up]

Quote:

I rejoice with you over this happy news!!! Of course you know this is the most important aspect of this situation, that when all is said & done this is what really matters.

...That being said, I'm having a hard time coping with the sheer trauma of the situation...

I can sympathize with this, I was bullied into a c-section with my first-born, it was unplanned for me, but I think my docs had it in mind all along. I was given very little time to process the situation, just went in for my 39th week appt and was told there I was going to the hospital right then and would have my baby by c-section at 6pm that night. I spent the rest of that day in denial and for weeks afterwards found myself referring to the day as "The Day They Took The Baby Out". Once I caught myself saying that and realized "No, that was my baby's BIRTHday!" But it felt less like GIVING birth and more like having something TAKEN from me. So I can relate to your feelings.

...I can't help but feel I did something wrong to cause the c-section...Like if only I had not gone into labor then, maybe things would have turned out different.

From what you described, I don't think you could have caused that if you tried. And no one knows what makes labor begin, so there's no way you could have controlled that. It seems that the c-section really saved your baby's life!

....I can't vacuum...

I know all this is utterly illogical, and honestly-- silly. I'm grateful my son is born and healthy, no matter how...

We know that, and understand. Enjoy this brief time of stillness to hold & hold & hold that baby, give him a little peck from all your BYC buds.​