Questions for the moms

[lindseykoehler]

I'm having a baby in about 2 1/2 weeks...so I can tell you what I'm stockpiling! I actually have 2 other kids (11 and 8) but I've had to get all new things since I gave everything from the older two away. As for the necessities: I'm doing a diaper service...which they say is cheaper than disposable (and I don't know how true this is - I just do it for the environment), diaper covers, wipes, diaper cream, receiving/swaddling blankets, onesies, gowns for the baby, breast pads, nursing bras, baby wash and lotion, stroller, CAR SEAT. "Luxury" items: Nursing pillow, baby carrier, nursing cover up, Medela breast pump - yes, expensive, but saved me when I worked. I didn't buy a crib because our baby will sleep with us - but I did get some of those washable pads that you put on the bed if you're incontinent (from medical supply store) to put under the baby when we sleep. Babies leak!

I am a breastfeeder (longest I nursed one of my children was 2 1/2 years) and really enjoyed it. I liked how it was economical (free!), convenient, and I could feed the baby easily in bed with me. I will say that it was a bumpy road with my first...I was doing it right but it hurt like heck! I was very sore. Lots of calls to the lactation nurse. Bought the La Leche handbook. But I stuck with it and it got much better.

Can't comment much on natural childbirth - except to say I think it's awesome (I myself will be having my third cesarean). I think it's wonderful for natural birth moms to be up and going so soon - I'm always very groggy after the c-section and in a lot of pain from the incision. But childbirth is wonderful, no matter how the baby comes into the world. Good luck!

 

[silkiechicken]

That's great you are planning ahead and getting everything inline. I have no advice to give either but good luck! I sure have no plans for kids any time soon. I still want to be the center of the world and do things on my own time! Besides, school first and I'm going to drag out my childhood as far as I can possibly take it.

On a side note: My mom was in labor with me for something like 22 hours and she ended up with a terrible infection for like a week. That infection though was probably set it worse than necessary due her language barrier (or just being afraid to say anything), so she didn't tell anyone she felt bad and had a raging fever! She had a C-section for my brother as he was just too big at 9lbs. She has no idea how her mom gave birth to 9 with only a midwife and no med's back in Asia.

 

[bantymum]

Hey you mums (moms) dont scare them off!!!!!
They wont want kids but will have chickens instead!!!

it doesnt hurt really and dont worry, cause they all go back to have another one dont they, so it mustnt be too bad!!!lol
I had a c section haha!!!no it was really surreal having my Dr say " lets book you in to have your baby on next Thursday, how does lunchtime sound?"well thats not exactly how I expected my birth to go, I was already to have ala naturel with no pain relief! so I ended up with the works anyway.
But hey, I have my beautiful Son and thats what matters!!!

 

[erinm]

I breast fed my oldest til he was 2.5 years old. My second only to 10 mo.{ had to wean for a urgently needed spine fusion.} and I know formula cost about 100 bucks a month. well worth the savincg to put them to breast!

Diapers, cloth diapers for spit up rags that is what i used the most! and of course bum wipes!

and coffee!!!! to stay awake in the am when up at night feeding !!! ErinM

 

[erinm]

I also had c-sections. My hips apparently were not made for passing children{ never know it by the outside bleeccckkk}. I had so much milk I had 30 somrthing bags in the freezer. My milk would come in just hours after i had my kids. The nipplesles get used to the nursing. Get nipple cream. and keep them dry in between otherwise get chaffed It is a learning curve for best positions and such. I likes lying on my side in bed That was very comfortable and get a BOPPY PILLOW. {Babys are us toys are us} I went through 3 with each child and they resue your arms from getting fatigued holding and infant while nursing. THEY ARE LIFE SAVERS! If you are going to nurse get a boppy pillow> Erinm

 

[SeaChick]

First of all, congratulations- what an EXCITING and rewarding and wonderful phase of your life you are going into!!

I have not read this entire thread so I don't know if people covered these things already, but here is my 2 cents....

When my daughter was born we were on an extremely (EXTREMELY!) limited budget. A few things we did that really helped:

1) In our city we had a PROP (Peoples Regional Opportunity Program, I think..) office that rented car seats. So we were able to rent the various sizes we needed (there are like 3 or 4 different stages of car seats, and if you have two cars it would REALLY add up to buy them all!). They were really vigilant about the condition of them and they cost something like $5/month or some low price like that.

2) I also rented a breast pump from someplace like La Leche League or maybe through WIC (Womes/Infants/Children). It was one of the really good top-quality ones and they had a sliding scale based on income that made it affordable.

3) You may also want to look into WIC vouchers. The income scale is a lot hgiher than you'd think, and they'll provide really good healthy food for pregnant women and babies. In our city you can use them at the farmers market to get fresh local organic produce.

4) I'll echo the "don't give up on breastfeeding" advice. It is sometimes tough at first (I endured a week of bleding nipples before we figured it out!) but ultimately this is what our bodies are made for and it becomes really easy and rewarding soon enough. Not to mention WAAAy better for baby, and WAAAY cheaper!

5) As I said, we were really tight on money when we had our daughter, but it all worked out fine. It wasn't a massive load on us financially for some reason. Maybe because the baby expenses were offset by the fact that we weren't spending money on things we had before, like going out to movies or music shows, drinking wine/beer, etc. It all worked out and believe me, it's SO worth it!!

Good luck and have a wonderful time!

 

[sgtmom52]

One thing that you may also want to consider now is starting a college fund. I know it may seem a bit early to be thinking about that, but the best time to start is when the child is born. Many states have a fund you can buy college credits at todays rate and use the credits later. In Pennsylvania it is called PATaps. For my daughter I bought credits at under $200. per credit and used them later when credits were over $400. each. You can choose how much or little to invest. Other people can also buy credits for your child (grandparents, aunts & uncles, etc) they make great gifts.! I was a single parent back then and I made payroll deductions. It was just like another car loan for 18 years. My daughter will be graduating from college in May 2008 debt free (with very little help from her deadbeat dad)!

 

[patandchickens]

American (and Canadian) society makes having kids seem WAY WAY more expensive than there is any reason on earth for it to be.

First, if getting pregnant doesn't come as easily as you'd like, try reading "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. I found it really helpful in figuring out effective timing of, er, things

Once you have a baby:

Breastmilk is free. Nearly everyone can breastfeed successfully as long as there are no chronic health problems nor incompatible medications being taken... just remember to GET HELP when you need it, from a lactation consultant or the La Leche League folks. You might think breastfeeding should be 'automatic' but actually many many babies and moms have to LEARN how to obtain a good latch and good feeding. It is not in any way difficult, it's just that advice from an experienced person is really invaluable. Don't give up just because there's a few bumps in the road in the beginning!

Buy 2-3 dozen *good* prefold cotton diapers (squarish, but with a thicker section down the middle), a "Snappi" to pin them shut, and 2-3 prs of 'plastic pants' to cover them, ideally a decent brand like Bummis. After this, which in Canada 3 yrs ago ran me about $120, your only further costs (even if you have more kids later!) are hot water to launder 'em in and an occasional run thru the drier. Tip: use a DRY diaper pail (do not soak 'em) and when you line-dry prefold diapers, hang them sideways not upright, they'll end up softer that way.

Diaper wipes? Either get some cotton flannel and rip it into squares and throw 'em into your diaper load of laundry, or if that's too much work (and honestly I ended up thinking it was) what we do is buy "select-a-size" Scott (=Sponge) brand paper towels and just keep a plant mister type bottle full of water by the change table. It is way cheaper, and works really really well. You don't need lotion in wipes -- just dab on a little bit of olive oil to the baby's dry bottom every few changes in the first few weeks, and then use a GOOD diaper rash lotion e.g. Penaten if rash develops. BTW our change table is a thrift store $10 wooden kid's desk with a rimmed change-table top that we made out of leftover wood and painted up.

As another poster said, a "boppy" type pillow is really really really helpful in the first month (sometimes a lot longer) for nursing. You can get one secondhand for maybe $15.

You don't need disposable breast pads, the cotton washable ones work great. I think mine were like $8 for a pack of 6.

You can get a crib and plenty fo toys and whatnot from friends, acquaintances, etc, and/or thrift and secondhand stores, although be careful about items that may not be made to proper safety standards. FWIW our crib was $30 from a garage sale.

The only other thing you need is a good safe car seat, but IIRC you said that getting things like that wasn't a problem.

Best of luck,

Pat, whose second son is now 5 months old and doesn't enjoy me taking time out from him and his brother to use the computer

 

[patandchickens]

Quote:
The biggest thing is to take the time and energy to EDUCATE YOURSELF about the whole pregnancy and childbirth thing. It astonishes, and scares the pants off, me how many people just follow along sheeplike with whatever The Doctor says, especially when he typically does not happen to mention the possible risks or downsides of what he is proposing.

The other big thing, if you think you want to avoid pain meds and unnecessary medical interventions, is to try your darndest to get a good MIDWIFE instead of an ob/gyn, if there is ANY WAY AT ALL that you can arrange it. And in the U.S. particularly, you want to shop around to try to get a midwife who is more of a "real" midwife not just a wannabe obgyn

although this will not always be possible. Midwives (in general anyhow) know a whale of a lot more about how to expedite labor, manage pain, and avoid getting into situations that require medical/surgical/pharmaceutical intervention. An awful lot of really horrible labors and "baby wouldn't fit" situations and so forth can be avoided or at least made a lot milder by doing things to get the baby positioned correctly and by avoiding doing things that will exacerbate the problem. Midwives these days are (mostly) trained nurse-type people with a lot more specialized knowledge of the labor process than an ob/gyn will have (ob/gyns do not normally attend labor - they just show up as the baby is being born).

If you do wind up with an ob/gyn, see if you can afford to hire a doula - a nonmedical person who knows lots of things to help you thru your labor and will advocate on your behalf when the nurses and drs want to do things you don't want.

Yes, labor hurts like hell, but you know what? It is the only pain you will ever have in your life that is SUPPOSED to feel that way and that is GUARANTEED to end relatively soon

Pat, with a 3 y.o. born in hospital with a midwife attending and a 5 month old born at home with a midwife.

 

[mom'sfolly]

I don't have much to add but a couple of things that haven't been mentioned.

I had a baby sling with my second child, which left my hands free. This is a wonderful object. The babies can find their own position in it, and it keeps them close to you. My son would sleep in his all the time, even if he was fussy when he went in. If you are wearing your baby, no strangers in the grocery store can put their grubby little mitts on him/her. My son and I liked it much better than the front carry pouch I used with the first one.

Breast feeding, in addition to the health benefits to baby, has a positive reinforcement for the mother. It helps the body recover from childbirth by producing hormones that contract and tighten the uterus. It also produces "contentment" hormones that relax and make you feel calm. These help strengthen the bonding between parent and child. I often ended up snoozing while feeding, because it was so relaxing.

My kids went directly from breast milk to cows milk, no formula. Boobs go anywhere, never require refrigeration or sterilization, regularly get cleaned in the shower and come in a baby friendly package. Only downside, the possible "men's magazine mutant" boobs that might result. I didn't know that F was a bra size.

biggest requirements:
Carseat, safe bed, stoller that works for you, and a bag that carries all the amazing amount of stuff a baby requires. A good diaper cream is wonderful too. I liked Dr. Smiths, or Beaudrow's Butt Paste (which is probably regional). A good thermometer is important too, the quicker the reading the better.