QUICK!!! What to tell the kids.

[OrpingtonDad]

I normally wouldn't presume to tell you what you should or shouldn't tell your children, but you did ask in this case, so I'll offer my opinion. Most people today are so far removed from the natural cycle of life that they find great discomfort in discussing slaughtering an animal. Food comes in clean packages from the grocery store and no one thinks twice about it. There is no guilt in eating anything from McDonalds.

The fact is that nothing lives that does not live at the expense of something else. For countless ages everyone knew this, children included. Its only been in the past few generations that we have developed this distance from our food. Children are remarkably resilent and I think you will find no long lasting effects to telling the truth. Having said that
I agree with Sunny_Side_Up the child doesn't need to help process the bird. I also agree that you might want to get away from the idea of good animals and bad animals. They are all just animals, and they are serving the purpose they play in life.

I tell my children that our chickens are not pets. We provide them a better home than they might otherwise know, and when the time comes, they provide us with healthier food they we might otherwise have. However, we do have a couple girls that will most likely never see the choping block.
The truth is it was an idea that my children accepted far more readily than my wife.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

I wouldn't lie to her. Tell her the truth as simply as you can. Lying never solves anything. We spend most of our time as adults trying to train our children to grow into honest citizens, and our children learn by example. If one blatantly lies to their child to "protect" them, then how can you expect that same child to tell the truth?

Be honest, be straight forward, but keep it simple. If you butcher him tomorrow, you don't have to eat him right away. He'll freeze nicely. Butcher him, give her time to grieve him, and then eat him.

 

[playingchicken]

We had a similar situation. We live in the city limits and we don't have the room right now to raise meaties. We had one EE roo that was pretty fun until adolescence hit and we told our kids that he was getting too mean and mean roosters are eaten.

However, we chose to give the roo to someone else because we aren't really set up to process chickens and weren't going to go to the trouble for one fractious roo.

My oldest asks when we are going to get some to raise for meat. We have eaten my dad's delicious roos that were culled and our kids hear all about it.

I agree that it may be time to move away from good/bad animals. We have some animals that we raise for meat, others that we don't. We try to treat them all kindly.

 

[HorseFeathers]

I would be really mad if my parents lied to me about something like that (I discovered the tooth fairy when I was young). Why don't you explain to her what Chaser is doing, and tell her he needs to go, then ask if she would like to eat him, if she would just not eat him and you could eat him, or if he would go to a new home? That is, me being a kid, the best thing in my opinion. But please, I don't think you should lie to her.

 

[deb1]

Quote:
I agree with you completely.

If we want our kids to be honest, then we have to be honest with them.

Eventually the child will figure out that his parents lied. Even if the realization that you lied to them doesn't happen until they are adolescents, you will have still taught the child that lying to dodge dealing with another's pain is acceptable.

Last year our cat had to be put to sleep. My daughters were older then yours, nine and 11. Yet I know A LOT of parents who lie to the children(even my kids age) when a pet is put to sleep. I suspect that this isn't to protect the child so much as to keep the parent from having to be uncomfortable with dealing with their kids' pain.

We were honest with our daughters and dealt with the entire incident as a family. My daughters know that I will always be honest with them and that builds trust between us. They also know that their parents are there for them when they are in emotional pain.

 

[TcherDawn]

My dog ran away when I was little. I was crushed. But my mom explained how he was such a nice dog and probably found a new home. I pictured him at his new home and was somewhat comforted. Then we moved and left a note for the new people in case he came back. I didn't know until adulthood that my mom found a new home for him because the new place we moved to didn't accept pets. I know it was a lie, but she was trying to protect the innocence of my childhood, and I respect that. I may have been ok with the facts too, but she did what she thought was best at the time. I think you have to judge how attached she is to that particular roo and use your parental insticts from there.

 

[zephyrcreek]

We raised meat birds when I was growing up and my parents were always completely honest about the purpose of the birds. I now am a mom of 2 young boys , 6 & 8, and we will be starting our first meat birds as soon as the weather clears here. We have had several discussions about it already. We have had these same talks about the beef that we buy from my uncles farm, they don't always understand it all when they are really young.......but they will eventually. I think the younger they are when you start the tough talks the better, then it's not such a shock. When we were kids it got to the point we would name all the "little boy" goats born food names knowing that one day they would be on the table. At first they were so young and cute it was hard to imagine, but as soon as they started trying to push us around we would be begging mom to have "meat" or "steak" for dinner soon.

Ellen
Zephyr Creek Farms

 

[AK_Button_Mama]

Quote:
I agree honesty is the best policy. my kids are 6 and 8 and both help me on butchering day. (my husband cant do it thought) my kids are told the BRUTAL truth all the time... how can I expectt hem to be honest if I have ever lied to the (even a little lie is a lie) my kids dont seem to scared.... they are good kids and have friends and do good in school... they do drive me NUTS but thats thier job!!!

good/bad thing is probably a bad idea as one other poster said what will she think if SHE is bad? food is food....it comes from animals that is just how it is...... (unless your a vegan) I bet after you have had the discussion with your little one you will be like WOW that wasnt so bad after all....
I wish you luck.

 

[agnes_day]

if your daughter is that attached to him, why not find him a new home instead of eating him? that way you are rid of the problem bird, and you dont have to worry about what to tell your little girl.

 

[Zoomom]

I took my sister and nephew who was about 6 at the time to a friend's farm, where they had laying hens and meat chickens. My friend asked me to help slaughter one morning, and my sister was really worried about her son being traumatized, so she just took him about, taking pictures of the horses and playing, but then he came into the barn where we were working and asked what we were doing. I just explained to him "We're making Chicken McNuggets" and the chickens were meant to be eaten, and they would taste really good, and that they had a really nice happy life on the farm but now it was their time to feed us and we were making sure they didn't suffer, so that's why we were doing it ourselves. Chicken McNuggets were his favorite food at the time, so that's why I said that. I asked him if that was ok, and he said yes, and then we had hot dogs for lunch.
He was fine afterwards.
I think it's better for the kids to know where food comes from, but not necessarily that they are eating that specific chicken.
Or try to find a home for the rooster.