It's rare that I find things annoying enough to want to rant about them this much. Oh well.
I get that you make amazing food. What isn't amazing is your cleanliness habits.
You picked up chicken poop with a paper towel. Good.
You know what you didn't do? Wash those hands properly. I don't care if you think the paper towel prevents chicken poop germs from going through. I know my hands can get a bit wet if it seeps through. But no. You just rinsed your hands off with water, NO SOAP, in the KITCHEN SINK, and then wiped those hands on the towel that's supposed to be CLEAN so I can dry CLEAN dishes with it.
Oh, and you dropped the towel on your foot earlier today and you just stuck it right back on the stove. Gross and disgusting.
And every time I've complained about this, you either tell me to shut up, or you just ignore it when told to wash your filthy hands.
I would not be surprised if the reason we all threw up on that one trip was because of these poor cleanliness practices.
Oh, also, I'm not surprised your laptop is half-dead. Bird seed and letting the bird take a dump on the lid is something I might start charging for, even though I never charge anyone who lives in the same house.
Get your act together and think of more than just your convenience.