*rant* Long

baltimoreharps

Songster
10 Years
Mar 27, 2009
553
0
139
Cabarrus Co.
I typed all this up, but then lost it, so here's the condensed version.
I have severe panic attacks. They are even moreso when a situation comes up that I am totally not expecting and am not prepared for.
Today, by FAR was the worst one yet and I'm both disgusted with myself and with not being able to handle changing situations, even with meds. I feel like I'm back to day 1, even before the Xanax and the long term meds.
This is the situation:

Well, today was my test and I passed, but just barely. Dh calls me just after I woke up telling that my car died on the highway, wayyy up in Mt. Airy. (sp)
I'm worried about him, and about my Mustang, and he's sitting up in the exit lane of highway 52 halfway in the lane and the car can't move. It is DOA, period and I'm over an hour away and barely awake.
So, ya'll can tell what happens next, right? Yup, big, huge fat panic attack followed by my next lovely symptom of vertigo, which I was already feeling before dh called.
Halfway up, I had a severe blood sugar drop, which almost caused me to wreck the van, and we pulled off the highway and I got a 7 up to get some sugar into my system since I didn't have a chance to eat before we left.
We finally got to where DH was broken down on the side of the road, and while I was getting the van to bump the Stang to a safer place on the exit, we nearly got hit by a jerk who just HAD to cut in front of us limping out of the exit lane!
I couldn't believe that in the 2 hours it took to get there, that he got passed by, with him PUSHING the car uphill at almost 90 degrees, by 2 highway patrol cars, 3 sherriff's officers, 2 firetrucks AND an EMS unit.

I can believe it now,after seeing that guy pass us on the left hand side to cut into the exit lane!
So I'm stressed out, wiped out, feel like I have the flu and I can't even think about how much it's going to cost to fix the Stang, if we can....I shouldn't be attached to a car, but she was my baby.
The only postitive out of this is that DH is going down with his dad tomorrow to buy a new "used" Prius, which we've been putting off doing, but now since the Stang has broken down for the 4th time, ( and has been repairable till now) we've just been delaying a new car until we could pay for in full, but we don't have that choice now, since the van is a gas guzzler and the Stang got 38 MPG daily. ( No, I have no idea how it gets that great of a gas milage on a V-6 engine, but she did.)
So, that was my day today. I just want to pull the covers over my head and just sleep for a week right now.

Thanks for letting me vent. This day has been like a bad dream.
 
Close your eyes and go to sleep...tomorrow is a new day!
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That's what I do...if I don't like the day I woke up in I sleep till the next one...LOL!
 
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I REALLY, REALLY want to do that, but I still can't quit shaking and stressing over this!
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I start to relax and then think about dh there in the middle of the exit for 2 hours.....
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I honestly don't know what I'd do without him.
He keeps me together and today was bad all around.
I'm trying to get calmed down, but I don't think it's going to happen anytime soon.
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Halfway up, I had a severe blood sugar drop, which almost caused me to wreck the van, and we pulled off the highway and I got a 7 up to get some sugar into my system since I didn't have a chance to eat before we left.

Are you diabetic? If you've never been checked, please get this looked into. This is how I first became aware of my own diabetes--severe blood sugar crashes. I kept ignoring what my body was trying to tell me, until one day I woke up in the hospital after collapsing on the drill field. I almost died out there. I looked so healthy, nobody knew there was anything wrong. Everybody just thought I got too hot. By the time I got to the hospital I was already in a coma. Doctors told me how lucky I was to survive. So do not ignore this. Get yourself checked out.

Good luck.


Rusty​
 
Baltimoreharps, sorry you had to deal with this. Focus on the positive. Everyone is O.K. Don't dwell on the "could have beens." Are you a "control freak?" That also is hard to let go of-I know , I am one. I had to face the fact that I am not in control. I had to delegate that to a higher power. My wife also had problems with panic attacks so I have some idea of what you are dealing with. Talk to your doctor. You may need additional meds or an adjustment in strength of what you are taking. Take care of your self physically. Exercise and proper nutrition are very important. O.K., you've gotten through this. Enjoy the rest of your day! I too am surprised and disappointed that no one stopped to give your husband help with the situation.
 
I'm sure we all at times feel panic of some degree.
Can't be helped.

But we can control some things by being better prepared?

I have AAA...have had since I was 16, learning to drive. My wife has AAA.

Brought us home safely many times.

(Not that we drive junk cars. We don't. But things happen, cars break.)

At about $75.00 a year, AAA will tow you up to 100 miles.

Isn't there some sort of road service assistance plan on most cell phones
these days? I really don't know, but I think my sister in law has one of some
nature.

Nobody can help being worried or the way they feel.

But having a backup plan always makes me feel better.
 
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Are you diabetic? If you've never been checked, please get this looked into. This is how I first became aware of my own diabetes--severe blood sugar crashes. I kept ignoring what my body was trying to tell me, until one day I woke up in the hospital after collapsing on the drill field. I almost died out there. I looked so healthy, nobody knew there was anything wrong. Everybody just thought I got too hot. By the time I got to the hospital I was already in a coma. Doctors told me how lucky I was to survive. So do not ignore this. Get yourself checked out.

Good luck.


Rusty

Hi Rusty,
I'm not diabetic, my oldest DS is a type 1, but I'm more hypoglycemic. I don't eat, get stressed, and wham, my blood sugar drops. I do check my blood sugars on my son's monitor every so often and am not over 120 at any time, stress causes my body to go into a low blood sugar. It happened when my Mom passed away suddenly and has happened whenever I'm stressed and overtired.
I'm very glad to hear that you got help, diabetes is nothing to fool around with!! DS has had it since he was 3, it is hard, but managable if you take care of yourself.
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Speaking of towing, sometimes your insurance company can add that on and twice in my driving years I had to use it. Hubby wanted to drop it to save more money and I told him which one you would like the best $40 a year or $100 a pop anywhere in the state to tow and not including the "off hours" they had to drag themselves from their family to tow your car many miles away from home, that would cost extra! Hubby understood and said keep it on LOL!

Hope you can find the car you can run it back and forth to work. It is one of those life stresses but once you get over it, you will be OK.
 
I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. I suffer from a bit of anxiety myself. Thankfully medication has resolved the issue for me.
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