RANT! Tired of being the Well Spouse!

[theoldchick]

You both need counseling. If he won't go, then go by yourself.

 

[Jess N Jeff]

Quote:
Snowball effect.
pain->meds->depression->pain->more meds->that cause pain->meds->depression on and on and on.
get the to drug threapy.

Bingo

This is exactly right!
When he has his next Dr. appt, go with him and explain all of this to the Dr. Depending on the extent and time frame of his back surgery they can start to change his meds to non-narcotic based drugs. Keep in mind that when he cuts down on the pain meds he will be detoxing. Life will really suck then because its like being with a bear coming out of hibernation...grumpy grumpy grumpy.

They should also be putting him on antidepressants.

 

[seismic wonder2]

Quote:
Bingo

This is exactly right!
When he has his next Dr. appt, go with him and explain all of this to the Dr. Depending on the extent and time frame of his back surgery they can start to change his meds to non-narcotic based drugs. Keep in mind that when he cuts down on the pain meds he will be detoxing. Life will really suck then because its like being with a bear coming out of hibernation...grumpy grumpy grumpy.

They should also be putting him on antidepressants.

Grumpy isn't the word.
Detoxing people are Down right rude, crude, nasty, possibly the worst, and annoying person that will lie cheat and steal to get more meds.
They turn into horrible people. Good thing is it's temporary, only a few days.
You have to get THICK SKINNED and don't take ANYTHING they say to heart..Remember, it's the drugs talking NOT THE PERSON!!!

 

[schellie69]

As the sick spouse it sucks and I hate it, it seems like sometime I am more of an observer then part of own family and to the person who said something about the withdrawal of medication remember it should be under a doctors care people can and have died from withdrawal it is not a pretty thing to go through I know because I had this problem when my DH lost his job and we lost his insurance so I had to change most of my meds to cheaper. it sounds like his meds are not working or are to strong he needs to get a med's review and make sure that he is on the right meds and the amount is correct dosages maybe he is taking to much of his meds have you checked. my DH and i sit and talk and he has found things that I enjoy and helps me so I can enjoy them like the chickens and my garden maybe there is something you can get your husband into that might give him something to do. it sounds like he has some depression issues and those needs to be addressed. you can call or go to the doctor tell him your concerns maybe they can give you some help or maybe a support group would help.

 

[calicokat]

You've gotten some good advice here. Go to his next Dr. appt. and bring it up. And set up an appt. with your dr. to talk about what's going on, and be screened for depression yourself.

And don't forget, a silly old message board is a great/safe place for you to vent too. Sometimes you'll feel better just telling us all the things you want/wish you could say to him.

In the mean time

 

[obxWaMi]

Thank you, everyone. I really didn't expect such a huge response. I was using this board to say the things I wish I could say to him. Actually, I've said them to him, but the words don't always change things.

Just to clarify, we are both already on antidepressants and I see a mental health counselor. We've talked about his addiction to pain meds with the doctor before. I have to give DH some credit. He has decreased his pain meds considerably. Completely off the Methadone and Valium, and the Oxycodone has been cut by 1/4 so far. The gastro doctor says his being tired all the time is more due to the Hep C. He says that DH might sleep just as much if he weren't on pain meds at all. It's just one of the lovely symptoms of Hep C. Oh, he is also off the Marinol (I'm pretty sure I spelled that wrong) They put him on that to stop the vomiting, but he didn't need it after he came off the Methadone. Isn't it wonderful to treat the side effects of one drug with another!

As I said, this isn't anything new for me, I just get to the end of my rope every now and again. Today just happened to be one of thos days. Thanks for listening!

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

If the hep C is the primary cause of his tiredness, then you need to focus on that treatment; if whatever he is doing now is not working, then perhaps try a different treatment--anyways, discuss it with the doctor.

 

[Jaguaress]

Sorry that y'all are going through such a difficult time.

ETA: Since Hep C affects the liver, please make sure his doctors are also checking his vitamin B12 number at least once a year. It should be between 350-900, and not go down significantly. B12 is stored in the liver, and if his isn't working well, he could have a vitamin B12 deficiency. Symptoms can include tiredness and even back pain if the number gets too low. Don't let the doctor tell you it's "normal;" get the number because many doctors don't know enough about pernicious anemia (an autoimmune disease that causes low B12) or vitamin B12 deficiency. Feel free to PM if you have questions. My sister and I have pernicious anemia and get B12 shots monthly in order to live; pernicious anemia/low B12 is fatal if left untreated for too long, and even if treated, there can be permanent nerve/spinal cord damage. But people usually respond rapidly after beginning treatment. If he's low, he should have more energy quite soon, and it may even eventually help with some of his back pain. Good luck.

 

[Eliza]

Methadone, Oxy and Valium!

no wonder he sleeps all the time! Yikes! Post acute withdrawal symptoms will continue for a while.... talk about zoned out! Hang in there!

 

[sune42]

Quote:
Snowball effect.
pain->meds->depression->pain->more meds->that cause pain->meds->depression on and on and on.
get the to drug threapy.

Bingo

exactly my thought Coop