RANT! Tired of being the Well Spouse!

[Laurajean]

Well, at first I was going to write about how I was the "sick spouse" for many years, suffering from both Depression and severe Fibromyalgia, and how tough it is to be ill and disconnected. But now that we're looking at the drugs he is taking, then I would change gears and suggest you discuss this with him and a doctor, as others have said. Maybe I've watched way too many "Intervention"s lately on A&E, but this is something you need to address before it gets too late. I'm sure this is very hard for you, and you've probably had a hundred conversations with him about it, but perhaps it's time to go over his head and speak directly to his doctors. I wish you the best of luck!

 

[MikasGirl]

Hi ~

Sorry you are going through this, I bet your husband isn't really happy with his lifestyle, either. My husband is a pain management MD, and he shares patient stories with me a lot, totally confidential though, no names ever. He has described similar sounding situations to me so many times. If he wasn't asleep I would make him get up and post to you

Anyway, he encourages spouses to come to the appointments together, so make sure you go with your DH, and totally tell him that you are going to speak to the doctor about his behavior (that is just my opinion). He also makes his patients sign a contract, that they will take meds exactly as prescribed or call him. He performs on-site drug testing if he has any suspicions of medication misuse. Also they will not receive any pain meds from other docs (like their primary care doc) while they are seeing him. He has told me he often makes referrals for counseling, which it sounds like you are already doing.

I have heard that liver pain can be debilitating, plus his body just can't filter out those toxins like a normal liver. I know you probably are well aware of this, but: there is a difference between opiate addiction and tolerance. I don't know your situation well enough to know what you guys are going through, but I guess I just wanted to say that so everyone was aware...just because there is a physical dependence does not mean he is an addict. That being said, your story does sound worrisome. As all other BYCers are saying, talk to the Dr. Oh yeah...and I think you sound like a pretty phenomenal partner to have, he is a lucky man to have someone care for him so much to be concerned. I hope it gets better

~ Kim
p.s. I am ZepChick, but I was browsing on the page my daughter MikasGirl was logged in on

 

[dancingbear]

Oxycodone has an acetaminophen base, doesn't it? If that's correct, it could be causing additional liver damage, and doing as much to make him tired as the narcotics and the Hep C. You didn't say if he's on interferon, Pegasus, or ribovarin/interferon (I forget if that's the same as Pegasus) or some combination. I know from talking with other people with Hep C that the treatment is almost like going through chemo.

My DH and I have both had serious health problems over the years, we've both had several turns at being the sick one, and the well (or not as sick) one. Neither side is any fun. I agree with others that you may both need some addition counseling and help, it sounds like both of you are having an very rough time of it.

Best of luck to you, I hope you are able to get help, and that things get better for you both.

 

[lise]

Being ill just isn't fun,
even if you are the one,
who has to deal, to keep things right,
every day and every night,
I doubt he likes it more than you,
feeling down and hurting too,
the drugs he takes to dull the pain,
just make him worse, and you complain,
that he isn't doing enough, his share,
and I can tell you really care,
you both need help, so get it, please,
so you can live your lives with ease.