recovering from losing animals i cared about - anyone have any ideas?

[azure_]

i’ve always had anxiety about something bad happening to people and animals that i’m close to. when my dog is running off leash i’m always very anxious and usually have to walk away from the situation so that i can breath. (i’m not leaving her alone, someone else is walking her im just there) when i was maybe 5 years old my cat who at the time lived outside full time decided to run into the road and she got severely injured. we nursed her back to health, but maybe that’s what has caused or attributed to my anxiety? i’m just rambling at this point sorry, but anyways. in february 2021 my 6 or so month old chicks got attacked by a fox and i found them on the ground in pain. they weren’t quite gone yet, so we brought them into our bathroom and wrapped them in towels. that whole experience has made me distance myself from animals and people as a whole. i’ve had animals my whole life and i’ve seen countless grow up and eventually pass, but this was very first hand for me and has really scarred me. i used to be so enthusiastic about having animals & a farm, but after the fox incident i’m not sure if i can ever go through with that. (i know this sounds dramatic sorry) i feel like i probably got off topic again. in july 2021 my family bought 2 nigerian dwarf goats (i believe that’s the breed they are, but i’ve been so detached from them that i honestly have no idea) i want to be closer with the goats, but i’m scared that if i get too close then i’ll be in pain when they eventually pass and i’m not sure if i’m ready for that. i also want to re build my relationship with my dog. when we first got her in december 2018 we were very close and i loved her dearly, but after the fox thing i detached myself from her because of my fear of how i would feel when she’s gone. i’ve probably gone off topic so many times in this, but i’m gonna try to cut to the point. does anyone have any advice/ideas for how i can slowly get more comfortable with the idea of re building relationships with animals?

 

[Sussex19]

I'm very sorry, I don't really have any advice; I've been through that myself, though it never got to bad.
So you're certainly not alone.
I think when it comes down to it, if you don't spend the time with them, then when they die(and everyones got to die sometime)they've never known what it was like to be loved.
This has always comforted me, in that I can just try my best, and love them in the here and now, while at the same time motivated me to spend time with them.
Sorry, I'm not very good at putting what I think and feel in to words.

 

[Callender Girl]

I think it's normal to take a step back after you lose a pet. But please don't let the loss keep you from enjoying a life with animals. For me, they fill a space in my life that people sometimes can't.

I agree with @Sussex19. I've taken comfort from believing that my critters could feel my love and, at the very least, live their lives cared for to the end.

While it's true that you won't feel pain if you don't love something, I don't think that's a good trade-off. Love them to pieces, mourn them when they're gone but give them great lives in the meantime. You both benefit.

I've lost dozens of critters; I was once the hospice home for a dog breed rescue. I got the dogs that others had abandoned -- old, terminally ill and/or left alone when their person died. I knew my time with these dogs would likely be pretty short. I loved them the best I could for as long as possible. Every one of them was a great dog, and every one of them died too soon. I don't regret taking in any of them, even though it was gut-wrenching and heartbreaking to see them go.

I actually hope to outlive all of my pets, convinced that no one would love them as much or as well as I do (yeah, I'm flattering myself here). In the meantime, both they and I get to feel all the love I give them, and I get to keep memories of them forever.

Most things in life are pretty temporary -- human lives, included. You can't live life without pain. Don't let that stop you from the joy that living your life with critters can bring. Your dog, in particular, can bring so much love into your life. Don't let fear of the future keep you from loving her with your whole heart and her from loving you back the same way.

Take care, and be brave -- love again. It's worth it.

 

[Silkie Princess]

i used to be so enthusiastic about having animals & a farm, but after the fox incident i’m not sure if i can ever go through with that.

That’s the same for me. The horror when I found a poor white silkie in a pool of blood, without her head was tragic. And then the other 7-or so chickens lying scattered all over the place was even worse. After that I started freaking out about everything. I still am.

A few months later we got a collie puppy after out dog passed away. The puppy has a very high prey drive. She’s 8 months old now and she managed to kill 3 chickens, one of them being my absolute favourite. I got over it. Somehow. It was hard.

I’ve been playing with the idea of selling some of my chickens because it’s easier to care for less. And then I learned they have ocular Mareks. So no selling birds.

Now I’m in a position where I’m still anxious and worried about them. Nothing changed. It’s been 10 months. I’ve missed so much fun because I worry about my chickens so much. I get super anxious on rainy days because that’s when the fox attack happened. Gosh, I hold my breath when I check on all the animals. It’s really hard not to imagine the worst-case scenario

Sorry if this is confusing. It’s hard to write about it