relationship assitance

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by dave_Cash69, Mar 3, 2009.

  1. dave_Cash69

    dave_Cash69 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Feb 15, 2009
    kaintucky
    Alright, so you guys think 'well, he doesnt know what love is' well before you make that assumption PLEASE hear me out because what I thought I had was love, but it came to be it wasnt really even that at all.

    I had dated a girl for 8 months, and she was really controlling and whatnot, always started fights with me. Now I had my flaws no doubt, but hers far outnumbered mine, and unlike her I actually changed alot of mine, minus the occasional cigarette.

    Now then.. I finally got tired of her controling and untrustinng self because I gave her no reason to be that way, thus I split up with her.
    Yeah it was hard, but she keeps threatening to kill herself and I dont want to stop talking to her all together just out of the fact that I care about her still, but i cant be with her. dont have any desire to be in that type of a relationship

    she wont change, and gets mad when i call her out on it
    but, do gurls threaten suicide alot to try and get back with a guy, or what..

    Guys, i seriously need advice, and prayers, its a hard situation.. what should I do?

    Do not post overly personal information like your phone number, address, age (especially if you are a minor) or any other personal info you don't want the whole world to see.​
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 3, 2009
  2. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    I think that young lady sounds like she has issues that you should not involved yourself in. Report her threats to her parents and cut off contact with her. There are plenty of girls out there that know how to be a good friend and a loving partner for you.
     
  3. dave_Cash69

    dave_Cash69 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    she has told her parents so many lies about me, that they would probably think that it was just me trying to make her life a living hadees.

    but she apparently just now said bye to me for good. but you all know how long that will last, it wont.

    maybe next time she tries to contact me i will just ignore her

    i tried to be her friend, but i dont guess it is gonna work that way.

    I told her parents prior to them hating me, and they didnt take me seriously.

    any more tips, please?
     
  4. FrChuckW

    FrChuckW Father to all, Dad to none

    Sep 7, 2008
    Louisville, KY
    Dave, the only thing you can do at the moment is remain civil to her, as you have obviously stated your feelings to her. The threat of suicide is a ploy to keep you in her life and not let you move on.

    It is another control tactic, if she threatens again, tell her that she needs to get some serious psychiatric help and walk away and refuse to have anything more to do with her.

    There is no need for you to put yourself in misery just because she is. This sounds more and more like a toxic person, and those you don't need in your life.
     
  5. poultrykeeper08

    poultrykeeper08 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Lol when i broke up with my girl friend she 1 spread rumors about me 2 tried saying she was pregnant then 3 She would call me and ask why i was talking S*&( about her just to talk to me .

    She didnt go as far as your ex saying she was going to kill her self but some times girls get attched and say things they dont mean . And Before any one says anything im sure some guys do it too

    Im 18 i know how it is . If she texts you just dont look at it if she calls just hang up .
    If you think her threats are seriouse tel her parents and let them worry about it
     
  6. Andora

    Andora Chillin' With My Peeps

    Aug 26, 2008
    Lexington, Kentucky
    Can you tell someone other than her parents? Like a counselor or teacher at school? I would do that if you can, just so someone knows about her suicide threats, and then not have any more contact with her.

    My DH was stalked by a girl from his work who did something similar--she actually tried to kill herself but didn't do a good job of it...more like a cry for attention. She sent him letters and tried to call him for months. It was insane. Now she has sent him a letter saying she has cancer and he's the only person that can save her. He hasn't responded to any of her letters and we had phone numbers changed, but she still won't give up. She also knows that he is married and has a child.

    It's a difficult situation for you to be in, but obviously she has serious issues and you will only get bogged down with them unless you cut all ties.
     
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2009
  7. only one lay

    only one lay Chillin' With My Peeps

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    I agree. you are not responsible to "save" someone who makes a choice like that.If her dependence for life is on you it would never work anyway.She needs to see-talk with specialty trained people. The best you can do is let those close to her know about the situation.
     
  8. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

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    okay..not a guy here..but..the first thing YOU need to know is..HER problems are NOT yours....second thing is..you HAVE to tell someone *an adult* school therapist...someone you KNOW will take action and believe you..you have to tell them about her threats.....that IS THE MOST important thing to do!!....also, some girls use this as way of controlling their boyfriends...dont fall for it...if you REALLY dont want to be in a relationship with her you HAVE to walk away...BECAUSE, otherwise she will maintain hope..and that just makes it harder for her to heal and get over you....tell her that you care about her as a person and friend..but, that you have to stop having contact with her because you think it makes it harder on her..and that she needs to heal herself first and get the help she needs...good luck and best wishes!, Wendy
     
  9. dave_Cash69

    dave_Cash69 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    still.. its a difficult situation, while id like to think she wouldnt do that, still its unknown.

    she goes to a different school than I do, so it would be sort of difficult to do that.

    shes done this alot, and kind of blinded me to how she really is the first couple of months.
     
  10. dixiechick

    dixiechick Chillin' With My Peeps

    Ah...what a wise young man you are...calling on the wisdom of others. No, not all girl threaten suicide. But this is a very common tactic that controlling people do. I would severe relations with her completely. If she contacts you, be nice but end the conversation quickly. Be out of reach. If she does call you with threats call the authorities or her parents...she can be BakerActed for a thorough evaluation to determine her mental health status. If is comes to that, tell her you will call it in. Doesn't matter if you're 17 or 37. This is tough and not good for you either. Get some distance ...and find the girl that truly deserves you.

    Only you can change yourself, as you mention. If you are willing to do that, then you deserve something who will do the same for you. Love is all about the other person making you want to be better than yourself....and vice versa.

    Again, good for you!

    PS. Now, throw down those nasty cigarettes...no girls like that! [​IMG]
     

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