relationship assitance

[debilorrah]

I agree with saying something to a counselor at school. Once the suicide threat has been reported, please just wash your hands of her. Pray for her if you are the praying the kind, but you have your whole future in front of you and do not need to be treated like that. If see her be civil, but do not engage in conversation with her. She is clearly troubled and you cannot save her.

 

[Shared Acres]

People that tell someone they are planning to commit suicide are either seeking attention or asking for help or both. If they were really planning on doing it, they would do it.

You don't need to be in a relationship with someone just because of that and good for you to realize that someone shouldn't be like that.

Honestly, I would talk to her parents. She made need some counseling and may have a lot of issues she needs to work through from the sounds of it.

 

[Momma_Cluck]

Hun-- I used to be a counselor... but still-- this is JMO:

When girls (or guys) threaten to kill themselves if you don't come back it is just that-- a threat. You said she is controlling, and this is just another way for her to control you, through fear and guilt.

WRITE to her... do NOT try to talk to her in person or by phone: that is caving-in to her demands.. and you'll never get a chance to say what you need to with her crying, screaming and pleading...

This is what you need to tell her:

"I am sorry, I care about you and want you to be happy-- but we are NOT good for each other, and do not like who I am becoming because of our relationship.
I am sorry if this hurts you, it isn't what I want.
But I really think that YOU need to get help- because you are very controlling, and these threats of suicide show that....and that you are not really emotionally stable right now.
Because I care about you, I feel the responsibility to tell your parents that you are saying these things, so you can get help, and so you do not hurt yourself."

Make 3 copies-- one for her (hand written) then 2 photocopies,
Then send one of of the letter to her parents, with a short note explaining why you are giving it to them.

One of 2 things will happen...She'll freak and try calling you to beg you not to tell her folks--- or she'll freak and call to scream at you...
either way-- do NOT talk to her until she has time to contemplate her behavior, cool down, and think things over.

I am sorry to say this-- but I really think you need a clean break from her until/unless she gets counseling, either from a professional counselor or her families clergy.

Again, many may not agree with this, and it is JMO-- but I really think it is the healthiest for you (emotionally) to get her problem in the open, and get you to a point in your life where you can move on and heal.

 

[dixiechick]

Let me add. My best high school friend was bullied by his ex-girlfriend threatening the same thing. So he felt that the only way to "save" her was to get back together with her. They soon married....he felt he'd learn to love her. Then a baby came. And with it more tention. Then...one day...out of the blue, she left him and moved from FL to NY...no explanation, nothing.

I keep thinking...what a waste. He had so much potential...and now he and this little girl are just lost.

When all he had to do was find the courage to have a conversation with her parents or a counselor or the authorities and just walk away and make the life for himself that he deserved....

 

[dixiechick]

Momma has some really good advice here.... ^

 

[dave_Cash69]

i just told her what you said to tell her.

it does hurt, but i cant deal with it anymore.

 

[dave_Cash69]

AND THEN she says, be just like every other boy and walk away, i thought you were different, etc. etc.

but i cant control it, it sucks.. maybe the boys walked away from her because of how she is!

 

[dave_Cash69]

Quote:
what do i say to that?

 

[dave_Cash69]

and she jsut said this - - So. Do you have anything to say before i go... You are going to miss me... You really are. Cause i would have given you anything.

 

[Andora]

I wonder if you can call one of those suicide prevention hotlines. Do they take personal info? I have no idea. At least if you find some way to report it to someone, then you can completely wash your hands of it and know that you did all you possibly could.