Hun-- I used to be a counselor... but still-- this is JMO:
When girls (or guys) threaten to kill themselves if you don't come back it is just that-- a threat. You said she is controlling, and this is just another way for her to control you, through fear and guilt.
WRITE to her... do NOT try to talk to her in person or by phone: that is caving-in to her demands.. and you'll never get a chance to say what you need to with her crying, screaming and pleading...
This is what you need to tell her:
"I am sorry, I care about you and want you to be happy-- but we are NOT good for each other, and do not like who I am becoming because of our relationship.
I am sorry if this hurts you, it isn't what I want.
But I really think that YOU need to get help- because you are very controlling, and these threats of suicide show that....and that you are not really emotionally stable right now.
Because I care about you, I feel the responsibility to tell your parents that you are saying these things, so you can get help, and so you do not hurt yourself."
Make 3 copies-- one for her (hand written) then 2 photocopies,
Then send one of of the letter to her parents, with a short note explaining why you are giving it to them.
One of 2 things will happen...She'll freak and try calling you to beg you not to tell her folks--- or she'll freak and call to scream at you...
either way-- do NOT talk to her until she has time to contemplate her behavior, cool down, and think things over.
I am sorry to say this-- but I really think you need a clean break from her until/unless she gets counseling, either from a professional counselor or her families clergy.
Again, many may not agree with this, and it is JMO-- but I really think it is the healthiest for you (emotionally) to get her problem in the open, and get you to a point in your life where you can move on and heal.
